Aug 31, 2009

Hot like an exothermic reaction ;)

Can't blog now, but I will during the Sept holidays or after Prelims.
Just a summary now:

Mass Dance was GREAT. I don't regret being the leader (:
Class Teachers' Day skit was GREAT too! Much better than what we had all expected, with all our blunders and arguments and forgetting of sequence etc., yes? At least it all went smoothly, not like during the practices. YAY God is real.

Meeting Rachel and Teressa was ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC. First time we've met outside, other than for 6B'05 gatherings, Teachers' Day gatherings in school etc, and sleepovers (SLEEPOVER! Set ah, after O's!)
Okay, this meeting was because of Teachers' Day too but I mean we used to go back to our primary school on Teachers' Day so we would meet. Now, our primary school has banned us from going back on "special days" because according to Jieying, some people had vandalised teachers' cars, stole their phones, and set fire in the toilet or something. I find that terribly amusing LOL.

Had a really really really great time today. Will blog about it when I can.

Aug 30, 2009


Yamashita Tomohisa. I can't seem to find a good picture of him.
I don't think he looks good actually, but I think he was really cute in Proposal Daikusen. His emo look's mega cute. When he's thinking, or acting cool/emo, his lips sort of pucker up a very little bit. WAHAHAHAHA
I like the scene he hugged Rei and asked her to marry him, at night on the bridge, when she was going to accept the teacher's proposal lol. GOSH SO CUTE when he hugged her can.

And the scene where he cried in the chapel. I'm such a sadist. But seriously. HEH HEH HEH

His proposal in the final episode. But I guess you wouldn't get it if you didn't watch the whole thing. I think the show's really nice. I like the childhood memories. Yamashita (Character name: Iwase Ken) and the girl, Rei, were classmates since primary school. I think it's beaufitul to have your childhood friend, who grew up with you and really knows everything about you, end up being your husband/wife, yes?

Aug 28, 2009

I have humongous thighs

(I've updated with a post below this. I put it below this because it's rather full of rubbish)

Bikinis, masturbation, wet dreams, big boobs, oral sex -
Guys like YD & BK ought to be eternatlly grateful to have met such an open-minded female friend like me ;)

Hello world. This is another post I wish everyone could read. My stupid thoughts yet again.

"I miss the warmth of a hug"

We girls are fortunate enough to be able to receive hugs from our friends whenever we're in need of one. There are hugs from my friends I'll never forget:

The hug Janice gave me during Festival of Praise, when she told me to stop thinking about the breakup and everything would turn out fine;
The long long hug Xiaoxuan gave me, as she prayed for me in Tongues, when I was sobbing in terror at the sight of everyone getting slain during the Zone Meeting;
The hugs Maddie whines and reaches out for (and I gladly give her) when we're about to part, unspoken I'll-Miss-Yous;
The hug Janice asked for - "Can someone give me a hug?" - on April Fools' 2008, when she was distraught over JJ's announcement that he was going to leave the music industry;
and especially the small but very, very, very sweet and comforting hug Janey gave me when I was crying over the breakup. (and I'll always remember the Nin Jiom sweet she gave me that happened to have a smiley face on it)

Oh, and the hugs I gave my wailing Sec 4 Dancemates (especially Joan) and teary-eyed juniors during the Asian Youth Games, our last performance together. I remember my dear juniors, red-eyed and makeup smudged from the tears, asking "Karen, can I hug you?"
Awwwwwwww. I'd never forget those. I felt so loved as a senior (and the Discipline Mistress at that!)

No, I can't live without the random hugs from my dear friends. The amount of love, warmth, care, reassurance and comfort conveyed in a single simple hug can be overwhelming.

So, what do (single) guys do when they feel sad and lonely and would like to feel the love of the friends around him? Hugging another guy would be so gay right.
Perhaps even guys need friendly hugs once in a while too.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. (((:

Dear girl friends, let's do our guy friends a favour and give them a nice, warm, friendly hug. (:

(Except Jenna - her boobs are so gigantic, they'd be all the guys would be hugging)

And I'm still blogging

Meeting today:

Spent ten minutes looking for my phone. I wish all my valuables came with tracking devices.

Wore the new blue thing I bought from F21, the one my mum said she's got trouble imagining me in because I wear black all the time (she's in Malaysia now so she hasn't really seen me in it yet). I wanted to wear my white shorts but something happened so I wore my leggings instead. I felt like a friggin' ah lian wearing what I was wearing man. I was actually wearing a pair of kitten heels, and was running towards the bus stop from my void deck when I decided that flats would be a better idea, so I ran back to my house to change shoes. Then when I was running to the bus stop again with my flats, I realised that I find it easier to run in my kitten heels than in both my pairs of flats. My flats keep coming out.

'Kay, anyway, I was supposed to meet them at Raffles City's Ministry of Food, but my failing memory caused me to get off the train at Raffles Place instead. Spent a few minutes looking at the directory confusedly before realising I had gotten off at the wrong stop.

So okay, when I was at Raffles City it was around 6.40-6.45. I spent so long searching like mad for MOF. Walked past every single shop on the first floor of the shopping centre. Its unit number is #01-45, and Starbucks' unit number is #01-46 so I thought it'd be near Starbucks, so I went there, and then I went downstairs to the marketplace, before I admitted defeat and called Claudia. I reached MOF at around 7.

MOF is on the OUTSIDE of Raffles City. *smacks head*

Yes, and I immediately recognised one of them. Chase. She was one of those in the group of people who interviewed Lukhei and me at the bus stop. And she told me she recognised me too, even before today's meeting - she'd looked at my blog earlier on and recognised me from the pictures. Like wow okay :O Hello Chase, if you see this!

The other three of them had left already, Claudia told me they came in uniform and they were carrying books and they were in a rush to go home and study. And I was like,
in a rush to go home and study?!?!!

Like GREAT, these are the people I'm competing against for the O's. THEY RUSHED HOME TO STUDY?!?! Great. Looking at how much I'm studying, I might as well give up now. No way I'm going to get a good score when these people are mugging their heads off and I'm........blogging.

After that I went to and get Teressa's present HEH. And my phone ran out of battery, so I had to search high and low for a public phone to call my dad. He told me to go to Jurong Point to meet them for dinner, and I was like, wow, haven't I slacked enough today already? Then at Jurong Point I had to go search for another public phone. Gosh I felt like an idiot.

Ate at LJS. I feel the fats forming inside me already. Like as if my thighs aren't flabby/fat enough. I saw this really skinny girl today, and she was wearing one of those skirts that make most of our legs look really fat, but she looked great in it 'cos her legs were so maddeningly skinny. Gosh I hate my thighs.


Should I save it up for my new tablet? Since the one I got this year was stolen (my fault, stupid me), I doubt my parents would be willing to get another one for me so soon. Should I save it up? I want to try applying to be an English teacher in my primary school next year. Some of the English teachers there need English lessons man. I remember correcting my English teacher in P1 before (its versus it's). I'm appalled at how my primary school looks down on the P1 kids. It's like they grabbed any old teacher to teach English. Even my engrish also more powderful than hers sialz.

I'll also be giving 10% to Church as tithes. Oh yes. It'll be hard to part with $120, but really, I owe it all to God anyway! I just hope it goes to the Building Fund and not to the printing of leaflets. I really don't know why they do it. It's such a waste of paper + money ):

Aug 27, 2009




(What's up with guys and boobs?)

You know what I'd really like?
Jessie (SlutSuanSuah) and I want to do a proper blogshop after O's. Like, proper, not like my Iseriouslyneedmoney one, but a PROPER one. We'll try to source for a manufacturer who can print our designs (after improving on them), and sell our own self-designed clothes. Cool or not?

The only problem is that I can't design clothes for nuts.

Aug 26, 2009

I guess we Singaporeans are pretty dumb

Under Cambridge's review of the O's Biology paper 2007, they said a lot of people wrote extensively about "hangovers" and "headaches" when asked about the "harmful effects on the body of alcohol consumption".


Aug 25, 2009

I hate knowing life still goes on.

I happened to see Daryl's Facebook picture, and I saw your face, Mad, and it dawned on me, how far apart I was from J4M now, and how time has passed since then, how I probably wouldn't be able to fit in anymore. J4M is almost like a dream I've woken up from.
I'm not looking forward to going back to OB after O's - firstly, I wouldn't be able to fit in, I'd be an awkward extra; secondly, it'd bring back memories. And I'm dreading meeting you again. Then again, I'm not going to give my passion up.

Who am I?

"I guess that's my weakness.
What people think about me matter a lot to me, because I don't have a sense of identity.
What I think about myself depends on what people think about me."

I guess that's why I feel it's so important for me to always put up a good impression of myself, or my school, or even Singapore when I go overseas. To me, giving strangers a good impression of me is important, what even strangers think about me matter. If a stranger says I'm ugly, all my friends could tell me I'm pretty and I wouldn't believe them, because "they're just trying to be nice. It takes one honest person for you to be able to tell that your friends are just lying to be nice. Or they probably don't think so because they're so used to how you look already."

In the end, my life is based on those around me.

That's very true, and I hate that. I know it's true because of the relationship I was in. I hate knowing that my self-confidence comes from other people, and I only think something about me if someone else confirms it. (If it's something bad, it takes one person to confirm it. If it's something good, perhaps even a hundred people wouldn't be able to convince me.) I don't know anything about myself, it's all about everyone else.
Ironic, considering how much of a loner I am.

Acid tongue

O levels English oral was......i really hope I get a high A1. When I was reading aloud, dear Michelle (s2b) who was being examined at the same time too was reading SO SUPER LOUDLY I lost track of what I was saying. I was still reading the passage but I wasn't clear about what I was saying. Die already lah. Picture conversation was okay. It was about treating a whole load of elderly people.

Conversation wasn't very good.

"What do you do to stay healthy?" or something like that, I totally screwed up, talked about making sure I washed my hands before I ate / used my hand sanitizer / washed my hands after touching something dirty to make sure I wouldn't get SICK. And then I talked about keeping my room clean because I was allergic to dust.
(It's all rubbish by the way.)
Yeah so I was WAYYY out of point.

Then the next question was something about the quality of Singapore's healthcare, I wanted to laugh. I used some of my SS knowledge. I said something stupid like "I've been to countries like Malaysia and Korea (Idk why on Earth I said Korea, its medical facilities aren't that bad right, and no I've never been there), and I feel that Singapore's healthcare standard is much better than most other countries', because the government makes us pay for our own healthcare..... (realises I'm talking about the wrong SS info and it's totally irrelevant) ..and the government practises privatisation, so the hospitals do not receive funding so they must improve and do better, and they must make healthcare affordable for us, so that they will encourage more people to go there (encourage people to GO TO A HOSPITAL?) ..And the government encourages Singaporens to stay healthy (realises I'm going out of point) ... so that we won't exhaust the coutry's medical resources because Singapore is a country with no resources (lol, I'm talking about two completely different kinds of resources)"

...Great. They must've thought I was a rambling airhead.

Then they asked something about how doctors might face problems or something with giving medicine? Or something. So I said that the doctors might be treating a poor patient who cannot afford the expensive medicines, but the doctor can't help him/her by paying for it himself because then other people would take advantage of that too, and the doctor would end up having to "suffer" (the examiner laughed when I said that) for the patients.

I was planning on getting almost full marks for my Eng oral, because it's highly probable that I'd screw up my comprehension as usual, and then I wouldn't be able to get my A1. I think it was super wasted can. This wasn't a hard exam. It was relatively easy, the questions they asked and the passage and the picture weren't difficult at all. And I just screwed it. Great. Great.

I need that almost-perfect score. I guess I'm dead.

It sucks to be behind Jessie for everything. Her Chinese is very fluent so for Chinese Oral I always scored so much lower than her. As for English oral, her points are very good and mine are all over the place. JESSIE SUAH! ):

I hate it when 1. people make assumptions about me, 2. they don't come up to me and tell me when they're unhappy about something I'm doing. Then you'll just go bitch bitch bitch and have a bad impression of me when it's really just a stupid misunderstanding.

I hate this. You, my dear friend, you tell me not to care about others' opinions, to make desicions on my own. So that's what I do. I make desicions on my own. Then all these happen. You tell me not to follow what others think. Yet I have to clarify things with everyone, do things that would please certain people, and then you say because I'm doing that, I'm making everyone unhappy.
Your instructions are crystal-clear, seriously.

Then again, what am I doing now? I'm still following someone else, making my desicions based on what someone else says. You.
"Okay, I've decided. I won't let other people's opinions affect me. I won't let what other people say affect how I want things to be. Eh, do you think this arrangement is okay?"

I just love my life. I keep saying I hate it when other people control what I do etc, yet I always end up being a slave to everyone else's opinions anyway. When I finally try to stand firm, oh no, suddenly everyone's unhappy and demanding I listen to them. Wonderful.

But I'm still thankful that you told me, and I still am grateful to have you as a friend, someone who isn't afraid to tell me what she really thinks, someone who doesn't care if she hurts me, as long as she gets her point across and I see the truth. That's the way to care for a friend.

I hate it when someone has negative opinions about me / don't like something about me / something I'm doing, and doesn't tell me. I'm not God you know, I wouldn't know what the problem is if you keep it to yourself. If there's something you don't like about me, you'd better tell it to my face so that I'd be able to realise the problem and perhaps do something about it, or clarify things, and not keep it to yourself, because when I realise you've been keeping it to yourself, I'll be really hurt and very angry.

The Drunk One

(Click and read Teryne's & Eudea's comments)

Aug 23, 2009

Stupid, don't you get it.

I ought to admit it. I'm a shallow, very very gullible idiot. I shouldn't try to protect my self-worth anymore, 'cos there's no point; I can't run from the truth.

Dignity? What dignity?

The pang in my heart tells me I still love you

The rush of tears that come to my eyes tell me I haven't gotten over it.

I thought I'd like to know how you're doing, but even seeing your tag on someone else's blog makes me want to die.

I thought I was the stronger one, was I not? I thought you were the one who loved me more, I broke up with you partly because I wasn't sure of my feelings for you. I thought you were the one who was going to have to take a longer time to get over this, with all your suicide threats and crying for hours on end.

I never knew I was so vulnerable.

I need a way out of this. I keep running, hiding, carefully avoiding, but I know the problem's still there.

The memories are still there, vivid, staring me in the face. It's like a trap I keep stumbling into, a trap that fills me with such excruciating memories and the screaming of my heart struggling to get out.

I need a closure, but I can't face it yet. I know I'll just break down and feel as hopelessly broken as the day I told us to let go.

Why me? Why now?

Most of all, why you?

Prelims start on the 27th - it'd be our 22nd month. E Math O's, our second O's paper, is on 27th Oct - it'd be our second year.

I really hope this won't affect my studies.

Perhaps I was adopted..

My brother got accepted by RI.
Or he's on the waiting list, anyway.

My new favourite word.

That electric rush surging through my entire soul, setting it on fire as you come on me.

(This is for personal reference only)

Again. She had been rejected a million times before; she should have gotten used to it by now. Why did she expect this audition to be any different? Why was she so upset? If only she could find a way to kill the hope inside her; it only caused her pain.

She sat at her desk and stared out of the window, gazing morosely at the sullen sky. It had just begun to rain; the fat drops pattering against the windowpane reflected how she felt inside: not awfully torn apart, just moody, and pensive.

Then, for a fraction of a second, the darkness of the sky disappeared and was replaced by a reddish-white light; had she blinked, she would have missed it. Many seconds later, a faint, angry, deep rumble followed, like the sound of a stampede of mammoths.

It intrigued her.

Slowly, the flashes of light grew more intense, and they sent electrifying pulses through her, leaving her in silent awe as they disappeared and left no trace of themselves when darkness immediately took over again, making her wonder if it had actually happened.

But the deep rumblings also came more frequently, and louder, and angrier, with each flash.

Then, as slowly as it came, it all died away again, until only the quiet pattering rain and the gloomy sky remained.

Once, Genie had found an interest in singing. She dared not confess it for a long time, for fear of ridicule, but the love silently grew inside her.

One day, she was suddenly full of hope, and she did it, she let her voice be heard.
Her friends thought it was a joke.
As soon as the hope had grown, it was immediately crushed, trampled on, shattered, and dead.

It was these little flashes of hope that surged through her every now and then, filling her with silent, secret joy, that caused her so much pain immediately after, when they were trampled on and forced to die, again and again.

Now, all that was left of her was muted hurt - for her heart had been torn apart so many times before that only a numbing pain remained - and gloom.

Outside, the rain poured.

Aug 22, 2009


My father was a top student in RI, then he went on to (what now is) RJC, and graduated from NUS with a degree in Engineering.

My mother was from MGS and ACJC in Malaysia, and then was the first child among her sisters to go to university. Graduated with degrees in Biology and Chemistry in NUS.

My brother who's in P6 now, is in the Gifted programme. His best friends have been accepted into Hwa Chong and RI through DSA. He's also a pro at Badminton.

I'm......plain stupid.

Let it rock

During cell group I testified about my Chinese O's results over the phone, because I'm not allowed to go for CG until after Os. So funny can.
Jason: Okay, everybody say Hi Karen!
"HI KAREN!!!!"

So I talked about how I was praying that I would get an A2, although it seemed very very unlikely, and how I screwed up my Oral and the Listening Compre was the hardest one I'd ever done and the Paper 2 was really hard too, and I was expecting a B3 but I ended up getting an A1 (MUAHAHA), then they all went "Wahhhhh." HAHAHA so cute can.

I love w412. Looking forward to going back to CG after O's (:

Aug 21, 2009

Back to my old skin again.

With a new picture. I thought "run away with me" didn't suit me anymore, since we aren't together anymore and I no longer feel like "running away", so I did one myself. It's as stupid as I am. HAHAHAHA.
I think this skin would be nice. Of course, I'll change the skin A LOT. I'll add a background picture (my emo candy hearts one again, maybe?), replace all the purple with other colours, change the heading font and colour and size, and basically everything will look completely different except for the basic dividers and stuff. People, give me your opinions please! Should I use it?

I love my previous skin but some computers can't view it properly (remember the three-words-in-a-line thing?) so I'll just use this for the time being, until I find a nicer one (after O's.)

We had the Teachers' Day Performance auditions today. Ours ROCKS, it would be great if we didn't stumble/laugh/forget lines. Everything needs to be way, way smoother.

Practiced for our Mass Dance again. I love our Mass Dance hahaha, but I wish we were doing it in the hall instead of at the parade square. I don't like doing Mass Dance in the parade square. And I'll be standing at the place the councillor who recites the pledge stands. (What do you call it?)

I got shortlisted for that Blogger thingy. Like, I'm supposed to blog about stuff related to O's and where I'll be going after this at least twice a week, from Sep to next Feb. That means, yes, I'll be blogging during my O's period too.
But they're paying quite a cool sum :D

Aug 19, 2009

The wonders of technology

Over a one-hour period, I chatted with a friend from China, a cousin who's in Australia, and another cousin in Ipoh.
LOL, globalisation sia.

Haven't talked to Tony in a long time. Anyway, he forgot to turn his webcam off after he left the internet cafe, so I could still hear what was going on and stuff. It was like as if my ear was in China, lol. Interesting. And then later, some other guy came to use the computer for a short while. Like HAHA

pete says (7:21 PM):
other than the girls....
there's nothing in singapore

i may not love my country but i will defend it because we have erm, political stability, high literacy rates, high SOL and great facilities
and the education is good, so there

pete says (7:22 PM):
nah .. everything sucks
only the girls are cool
i dont know ... singaporean girls have this awesome-ness in them

Tension or what man

Guess how much I got for my Chinese O's.



ZOMGGGGG hahahahahaha. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! Like, ME, A1!?! I was actually expecting a B3, although I was praying really hard for an A2. Like, AHAHA. GOD IS REAL!

Okay so like, we were all nervous like crazy, and before the results were to be released to us we heard from don't-know-where that there were "a lot of B3s". Don't know where we heard that from BUT IT WASN'T TRUE, HAHAHA. Then Mrs Yip said all she knew was that 4S2A did very well, and then I just screamed super loudly. I didn't even think about doing it, I just screamed. I only realised what I'd done after I'd done it. Apparently some teacher from another class was very pissed. :/

Then in the hall, the principal seemed to be deliberately taking her own sweet time to do things, it was so bloody irritating, then she talked so effing slowly I wanted to scream. I kept repeating "TENSION BUILD-UP! TENSION BUILD-UP!" to Jessie while hugging her like mad to keep myself from dying of stress. She was doing it on purpose I swear. I felt like I was going to self-combust.

It seems like a dream, maybe because of the dimmer-than-usual lighting. We queued up single-file to see our results, and everyone was screaming and crying and hugging. When I saw my results, I just screamed. It was, like, 1(D), which meant I got an A1 and DISTINCTION FOR CHINESE ORAL LIKE WTH OMG I SCREWED IT SO BADLY CAN HAHAHA THE TEACHER MUST'VE BEEN DEAF. (Link to blog post: click)

Like yes, so, A1! I just screamed at the paper. Mdm Lim and Miss Ang must've been quite pissed at me. I screamed and signed beside my marks (I don't even think the signature looked like what it's supposed to look like) and ran. Hugged the first person I saw (Janey), then went to look for Jessie etc. Jessie got an A1 too (as expected). I screamed and cried like mad, couldn't control myself, I just kept screaming and shouting. Then I went to the other side of the hall to find Amelia and the both of us got high together 'cos we both got A1s. I was going to hug Amelia then I (apparently) kissed her by accident LOL. Then I went to look for Sperm, she's disappointed with her results but hey, it was an A2, still good what!

It all seems so surreal now. After a while, all of us became really quiet and sat down again. Like, ._.

You know, even now I keep typing/saying "A2" by accident, like I really didn't expect an A1.


(Btw, link to post about O's Chinese written paper here)

Stupid leader shit. I don't want it, and I know I don't deserve it.

Aug 17, 2009

Janey's secret emo-ness

Hello world, please take time to read the essay of a good friend of mine.

She stared at the coffin - cold, hard and unfeeling. Pain, suffering and fear, that's what it reeked of. The grand, brown panelling irritated her. The coffin housed death, and yet, as she watched him lie there, he looked so peaceful. His eyes were shut, his hands clasped together as though in prayer, his expression of one at peace. He looked... so serene. So fearless.

She knelt next to the coffin, glancing at the white roses placed in the coffin. Pure, beautiful and innocent, they had been placed in by well-wishes. Saying a silent prayer, she placed her rose stalk into his coffin, but not white. Red. A scarlet rose, its petals, fiery and passionate just like his spirit. And yet, it seemed so sad and lonely as she placed it among the sea of white. It seemed sad, and lonely, the only one that stood out. Just like his soul. Her heart continued to weep, and she felt a tear slide down her pale countenance. It felt cold, just like her soul. Abandoned by him, left alone.

She stared at the hourglass, trickling crimson sands of time. Sand morphed to blood, sliding down effortlessly. Drop. Drop. Drop. Surely that must have been how it was when he died? His room's floor stained with blood, ebbing away from him as his heart beat slowed. She had not been surprised to hear of his suicide, but it grieved her all the same. Her heart still ached, her emotions still quavered upon thinking... about his rare smile. Melancholic. His occasional laughter, the way he held her hand when they used to go down to the creek together. His eyes used to be a beautiful clear blue, but they were now grey. His hands, his touch, used to be so warm. His touch now, was ice cold. Her heart ached when he talked about life, his gaze always seemed so wounded and sad. She would have given anything to hear his soft voice again, comforting her, never leaving her alone.

She seemed to forget how to breathe now that he could never come back, her body becoming a husk, a shell of her former self. Her once radiant beauty morphed into melancholic beauty, muted and sad. She looked at the pristine white walls of the chapel, remembering the memories of the two of them spent there. Her eyes trailed to a letter opener, and she slid her finger over the blade. Beads of blood formed from the cut, and slid down her pale finger. She smiled mirthlessly and returned to his body's side. The cold blade slid over her arm slowly, her meaning in life lost now that he had gone.

"If I were to die tomorrow... would you join me?" he asked her before, in the same chapel. She kissed him in response, avoiding having to answer his question. As the blood flowed from her wrist, onto the white of the roses, they drowned in the sea of blood, in every drop of her love in her being. Letting the drenched letter opener fall to the floor, she felt life ebb away, just like him. Whispering three words, she closed her eyes, weeping her final tears alone.

"Wait for me."

Aug 15, 2009

Eff those raging hormones

Hello friends, is anyone willing to go to the library (either J.East or The Frontier) to study with me tomorrow from about 12 - 6?

Sec 4s preferred.

Love, Peace, and ROCK \m/

Was watching Mayday's 10000人 出头天 concert DVD. Ahhhhhh my love for Mayday has been revived.

My dad, who has watched the whole thing, says Ashin didn't go off-pitch/key throughout the whole concert. Except for a few very minor unnoticeable ones, of course; it's live, it can't be totally perfect. It's kind of hard to believe. Maybe it was digitally edited for the DVD hahaha.

I love 你不是真正的快乐's lyrics, but I think they'd sound quite stupid if I were to translate it into English. Most of their songs' lyrics are really nice, and I really like their concept of peace. I love 万安,地球人, the lyrics are beautiful, about war and peace. I shall put the lyrics up someday if I remember.

Now they're all old fogies hahaha, I remember Masa's hair used to be quite nice; now he just looks old. Masa and Stone look quite bad now.

Will be going for the Da Vinci exhibition later :D Can't wait.
I don't know how I'm going to finish all my homework AND study for Monday's Rivers & Coasts test. ): My life is miserable.

This week has been a pretty sleepless one. On Monday and Tuesday I slept for about 4 hours or less each, and I slept for about 3 hours each on Wednesday, Thurs and Friday. Madness.

Aug 14, 2009

Farewell, Singlish

I MUST start speaking in proper English, even if it kills me. It'll be really tough but I'll try my best to take note of what I say - I say almost everything without thinking, and then I forget what I've said almost immediately after. Friends, if I speak in Singlish, slap me.

I'm trying to compile a list of words that are commonly mispronounced, to help myself and my friends. Here's what I've got so far: (the words in the brackets are how they're supposed to be pronounced)

1. Subtle (suttle - silent B, short and accented "su")
2. Placid ("a" pronounced as it is in "at", not "place")
3. Southern (not pronounced in the same way South is pronounced, the "ou" is pronounced like the "u" in "suttle", and the first syllable is also short and accented)
4. Acutely ("a" as in "around" and not "act". aCUTEly)
5. Humanity (I don't know why I put this here, but)
6. Inhumane
7. Said ("sed")
8. Often (Silent T - offen)
9. Doubt (Silent B - dout)
10. Athlete (NOT athelete)
11. Insanity (Not insane-ity. "a" as in "sand")
12. Incomparable (HAHA the mistake I made. It's inCOMparable, not INcomparable, and the first "a" in "parable" is pronounced as in "around", not "act")
13. Prevalent (PREvalant, the first "e" as in "ella" and not "pre", the first "a" as in "around" and not "act", and not pronounced "prevailant")
14. "The" before a word starting with a vowel is pronounced as "thee"
15. Undoubtedly (Silent B - dout)
16. Crescent (HAHA. When you say it, it's supposed to sound really cool, not just "cre-sent". "Cre" is short and accented)
17. Several (The first "e" is pronounced as in "seven", and not "severe")
18. Psychology = PsyCHOlogy, NOT PSYchology
19. Psychological = PsychoLOgical, NOT PsyCHOlogical)

My own mistakes = #12, #19, and sometimes #18.

(If I've made any mistakes, PLEASE inform me)

Aug 13, 2009

Tag leh!

Hmmmmm, there were 52 unique visitors to my blog on Tuesday and THE LAST TAG I'VE RECEIVED WAS ON MONDAY!!!! Why like thaaaat, people ): Tag! I want to know who's reading heehee.

Joke of the century:
On a Facebook quiz I once said (rather sarcastically btw) that I had a tattoo of a red heart with a dagger pierced through it, on my left boob over where the heart's supposed to be.
"If I'm not wrong, you have a tattoo on your left boob ar?"
SHIZ that made me laugh like mad. Totally woke me up HAHAHA

It sucks to have subconscious expectations of somebody, of a friend, because those expectations usually go unmet.

Why won't you admit it? Am I that bad? Is being my friend that humiliating?

Shyan wants to take unglam photos of me as a form of revenge, because I keep taking unglam photos of her (and the rest of the class. Not intentionally! Shyan, maybe you're just unglam all the time hahaha)
So I let her take a really stupid picture of me. She's posting it on Facebook.
"Think of an alliteration! Something Karen"
"Kissable Karen"

Mrs Rupa: Uh...Kinky!

Aug 11, 2009

That's it, I'm changing my blogskin.

This is to a certain someone, because I know she won't read it. I really don't mean to be mean, but..

HAHAHA you make me laugh. I remember how you used to be so immature and mean to your friends, just like that someone I knew in kindergarten (and was stupid enough to befriend. Maybe I'll talk about her some other time, too)
I find it stupid now, really, how people are still getting into relationships now. You're just asking to be hurt, seriously. And that guy is really ah beng. GAAHAHAHA

And I don't deny the fact that you really are pretty, but you've become so ah lian I .. buay tahan, seriously. The worst thing is that you actually could look like a rather smart, pretty girl. Why why why did you become ah lian? ): Thank goodness we were never good friends. Thank goodness I was always on the other side. I wouldn't say you're revolting, but you're ah lian enough. I don't despise you; I actually pity you a little, 'cos you don't see it. Good luck with being your ah lian self and I hope you don't get too hurt when you finally face up to reality one day, girl.

I don't dislike you, really. I'm just a little.. wth-ed.


Now I get what Amelia's talking about:



Can someone help me?!?! I like this blogskin, I don't want to change it ))): I just changed it! >:(

If this problem persists and nobody teaches me how to correct it by...7pm or so, I'll change blogskin. *sniff sniff*

HEH HEH HEH. At my mum's office now. Walked to Redhill from school only to realise that my EZ-link card didn't have enough money in it to take the MRT home, and I only had $1.20 so I didn't have enough money to top up, so I WALKED all the way to Bukit Merah Interchange and then FOUND MY WAY WITHOUT DIRECTIONS to my mum's office (Connection One, Tower 5)!!! I'M THE PRO RIGHT. I've never gone from Bukit Merah to my mum's office before, and I MANAGED TO FIND MY WAY THERE HAHAHA. My mother was incredibly shocked. I bet she didn't even expect me to be able to reach Bukit Merah Interchange with her instructions ("From the taxi stand at Redhill, cross the road to the market, and then just walk straight, straight, straight, until you see a MacDonald's"). She's used to me being hopelessly lost all the time.

WAHAHAHA. I'm the pro.

FREE INTERNET ACCESS, and FREE OUTGOING CALLS with her office phone! Guess who won't be doing her homework today :D

O's results weren't released today lah, stupid rumours >:(

Aug 10, 2009

It's been a friggin' month.

Why isn't the library open today? ): I hate doing my work at home. Yesterday I "did work" the whole day and only managed to finish my E Math Paper 2. And today, I've been working on my Lit essay for two hours and I've only done three paragraphs. Unproductive or what?


It's been a month; it's time I got you out of my mind.

Yet these few days, the memories are coming back to me, flooding my mind, and hitting me harder than before. Memories of how you used to hug me, your love and warmth drowning me; memories of the way you looked into my eyes and smiled when we were in your room, knowing that for that moment, nothing else in the world mattered, and our minds were totally focused on each other and nothing else; memories of how strongly and desperately I kissed you, until you became breathless and were going to faint, and I cried because I didn't mean to do that to you; that rush of love was too strong to control.

It's time I moved on, ass. Yet now everything reminds me of you and us. Everything. Even Hillsong, wth.
No longer can I listen to JJ's songs, to any Chinese songs, or even to slow English songs, especially the ones I used to listen to when we were together, and especially The Reason and Always Be My Baby. Now I can only listen to Avril's Let Go on repeat, despite having more than a thousand songs in my iPod. I don't know how long this will continue. How pathetic can I get?

I need to get you out of my friggin' mind. It's been a month, and I can't let you affect me longer than this. Prelims are in two weeks, and O's are just around the corner. I need a closure to this but I know I'm not even ready for that yet.

Someone please save me from myself; my mind's killing me.

"How do you feel when you see her now?"
"Nothing. It's like, the feelings have all gone. I don't feel anything now."
"Wow. I hope I'd be able to get to that stage someday."

Chinese O's results on Tuesday. Pray I'll get an A2, please please I can't get any lesser than an A2, although it's very very likely I'll get a B.

Aug 9, 2009

"I want to be a singer, like Kylie Minogue!"

"You think Jurong only have factories is it?" HAHA I LOVE BARBARELLA

VOCALUPTOUS performed! Too bad the first performance wasn't acapella. My dad was from the group too (!), but he gave it up when his workload got too heavy. -.- I think they sounded really nice when they were singing the national anthem! Go Vocaluptous :D


Juniors, I hope you guys enjoyed performing! They didn't show much of it on TV, they were more focused on Mark Lee and Sergeant Dollah (whatever his real name is LOL), but from what I saw it was okay! (:
A Sec 1 Mayflower dancer got knocked down by a taxi on 7th Aug, now she's in the ICU I think? Man I would have hated to be her - she must've been looking forward to this, especially because this is be her first year in Mayflower Dance. Poor thing, take care, I'll be keeping you in my prayers too (:

Yao De wants to join the parade!
YD: Will tell you when I join the parade! Hahaha! Wah. Super cool leh.
Me: What do they do anyway?
YD: March??

And friends, SILVANA'S MOTHER AND BROTHER were in The New Paper! :D Did anyone else see them? I recognised them only because Andre looked so much like Vana! But Vana's beauty is incomparable to others', of course ;D

Vana's mum's right ;D

Singapore Idol: The next Avril Lavigne! HAHAHA

Aug 8, 2009

Big Momma

We all sin. We all have secret sins. And these secrets, they chain us up, they eat away at us, then they begin to take over us.

God knows everything we're doing; why bother trying to hide anyway?

That's why we must confess our sins; then, the truth will set you free.

(Am I making sense? If not I'll rephrase it. Lol)

I got cheated of $15.

Doesn't sound like much, but I really really REALLY needed that $15.
I was so gullible I feel like slapping myself, seriously.

Well it's okay. Maybe she needed that money more than I do. All I can do now is hope she'll use that money wisely, and trust that God knows about it.

Teacher: .. And so the ugly duckling turned into a beautiful swan. So you see, everyone has hope!
Bart Simpson: Even me?
Teacher: No.

Aug 7, 2009


Hey, today's 07/08/09! :D :D :D
I find this really amusing. I don't know why. Perhaps it's because I've been reciting this every year since P1.

I love my school, I really do.
Or rather, I love the people I met in my 2006-2009 years in Crescent. LOVE MY BATCH LOVE LOVE LOVE MY BATCH. And my seniors of course, but that's a different thing altogether.

Ms Ang & our Signboard
Bella helping Iman with her wig HAHA

Don't Forget the Lyrics was complete crap. I can't believe I actually bothered to memorize Singapore songs' lyrics for that. And EH, for the Moments of Magic one I TOTALLY RAISED UP MY HAND FIRST CAN. The other group didn't even raise their hands up at all! Not a single one raised their hand. SERIOUSLY. Then she still called for the "fastest hands first" thing when the other group didn't even raise their hands. I saw Kelly, Hazzie, Jieying etc chanting my name, trying to get them to choose me HAHA. Like GAH, but it's okay, still had fun anyway (:

Dance performance.... .

After the celebration:

Chen Ting, Janey and I went to Queenstown Library to do work. The silence is so intense it's stressful. So much better than J.E. Library please.
Separated by a wall. Aww.

Janey "destressing". Manga. LOL

O.O Pictures make a post really long. Forget it, it's Facebook from now on.

Aug 6, 2009

My secret fetish (!!)

I cut my fringe.


Yup, cheena piang again. At least it wasn't as bad as previous haircuts though. Guess how much it cost to cut my fringe...
$3. LOL.
(Poor lighting yes I know. My photoshop isn't working because I used my activation code on my STOLEN TABLET and I can't use it anymore. WTH)

YOG Learning centre was fun, our group got FIRST! :D So I have the YOG badge :D Wonderful wonderful pictures, and I videoed the class cheer. And I've got BEAU-I-FUL videos of Janeen HAHAHAHA. Will put everything up on Facebook when, I'm free ;D Three more weeks to Prelims though. Maybe after O's luh.

'Kay, Don't Forget the Lyrics tomorrow! Thankfully it's not like what I expected. And because there were only, like, two Sec 3 class representatives who turned up, ten of us are going to be on the stage together HAHA. YAY. I know Zuo En and Chrissy will be representing their classes too :D

Will be wearing the red tee Janice gave J4M a super long time ago. 2 years ago? Never wore it because it was kind of tight, but surprisingly it's okay now. :/ My weight records say I haven't lost any weight since Sec 1 though. Weird. Maybe Nadine's sister was right lol. Stupid screwed school weighing machine. I was so babyfatty in Sec 1 can.
Three years ago.
(!!!!!!) (Oh and HELLO NADINE if you happen to see this!)

Yknow, I was 152 in Sec 1 and suddenly shot up to 156 in Sec two. FOUR CM DIFFERENCE! And now I'm...157 -.- 1 cm in two years. Great. I want my growth spurt again.

Aug 5, 2009

Things couldn't get any better, really

Jenna: Cui Xiao's being gay!
Mrs Rupa: Cui Xiao's being gay?
Mrs Rupa: Stop being gay!

Control your poison, babe

"It started with crazy kissing and touching and it progress to something which makes me feel so disgusted. The guy put his head into the girl's skirt and later he also wanted to take upskirt picture of the girl with his handphone. "

Eff lah, want to have oral sex and do porn stuff also don't do in places like these right? If Crescent's reputation gets (any more) tarnished we Sec 4s mightn't be able to get into the JCs we want to. Spare a thought for us man. And yourself.

(Okay wait kidding)

But seriously, they shouldn't do it in places where people can take pictures. 'Kay I'm a little guilty of PDA-ing too (Some guy told us there were people watching) so I'm definitely not in any position to judge/say anything. People learn from mistakes I guess; I hope this has taught all of us a lesson: Don't make out in public. In school uniform.

It's unfair how the acts of a few people can tarnish the reputation of a thousand.
Hao shi bu chu men, huai shi chuan qian li (Teryne's comp can't type Chinese characters)

I think it's kind of unfair that some people get caught and some don't. A particular friend of mine in a certain sort-of-considered-kinda-elite-but-not-exactly-the-top school (not Crescent) could list out seven lesbian couples in her level eh.

By the way, why is it that the "uniformed boy", who "put his head into the girl's skirt" and "wanted to take upskirt picture of the girl with his handphone", is not talked about, while the Crescentian is getting talked about so much? I love my very recognizable Crescent uniform.

Anyway, I think Singapore Seen is turning into a moderately porn site. Nobody can disagree with me. There's always something about some teen couple making out like mad and stuff.
"TPJC students petting in bus back seat: 'Girl moaned and screamed at times'"
"Couple makes out for half hour in public's full view"
"Couple locks lips in hot kiss in public during peak hour"
"Hanky panky couples in school uniform smoke and pet on Henderson Waves bridge"
"China couple kiss non-stop and get touchy-feely on bus"

Complete with pictures (not obscene ones lah but still, you know).

The thread comments are interesting.

Someone please, please, please kill my heart now

I hate what I'm doing to myself. It doesn't make sense and I bloody know it. Crap. I need a new heart, a new life. Stupid hormones.

I know it's stupid. I know it's stupid. So why won't my stupid subconscious mind accept that? Why is my heart making life so bloody difficult for myself? Why am I doing this to myself? I hate it, I really want to stop it, I really do. The feeling sucks okay.

I know that I'm being stupid. This just isn't right. I need to concentrate on the right things now = Prelims and O's. Yet I'm so bloody messed up with my life now. This is just the wrongest time. Crap crap crap crap crap crap.

I can't do this again.

Note to self: I need to stop scratching my stupid pimple. It's not even a pimple anymore, it's just a big red ugly scab. I need to stop scratching it off. STOP IT! Maybe I should put a plaster over it. -.-
"I have no noticeable pimple leh"
"Ahh Shyan! I got pimple! Ahh! Ahh Shyan I'm going to cry!"
GRR you two ah, want to see my Sec 2 photo or not?
One Two Three
(i'm obviously the ugliest one with the worst complexion in the picture lah)

Aug 4, 2009

My mental happy pill

"Aiyo. I shy leh :P Cute right? Oi, don't keep staring at my pic! Later you like me ah!"

Suah, this one's for you:
(He's the one on the left)

I think I'm really going mental. I'm bursting into random short fits of laughter now, thanks to his Facebook pictures. GAHAHA. Yao De, looks like you cheer me up better when you're asleep.
My heart's desperately holding on to the one thing that's actually making me laugh now. Haha. Self-defence mechanism. Yeah.

Prelims are three weeks away, and this is the worst time.

The worst time to buckle is when the most important exams are just around the corner.

Fking screw life, you idiot.

Sometimes I wonder why God, if a God exists, who is supposed to be perfect, made such a mistake with my life. Was I even supposed to be born? Maybe I wasn't, and that's why He doesn't realise I'm alive.

You think you've gotten over this, but it's just too soon.

It's only been 25 days, idiot.

This is just plain stupid. You don't know it, but I do. You think you're over it.
I did too, for a while, when I was too caught up in other thoughts, but later it was clear that I was just fooling myself by thinking I was over it. For a period of time, whenever I thought of a particular someone, I'd feel like as if I had completely gotten over you, and I wouldn't really feel anything when I thought of you. Then I realised the only reason I felt that way was because subconsciously, my mind was replacing thoughts of you with thoughts of him; it was like a painkiller, a sadness-forgetter, a mood lifter. Everything I felt was still, ultimately, based on you and not him. The only reason I felt that way was because subconsciously, I was looking desperately for something else to fill up that hole you caused in my heart. For that moment, I forgot about you and replaced all my sad thoughts about a lost love with happy thoughts of a new-found one. How stupid I was to have thought it was real. My mind was in "self-defence" mode, preventing me from feeling sad.

I thought you'd be smart enough to figure that out too.

It's just a vicious cycle, a downward spiral, don't you see? Maybe only I see it thanks to God's wisdom. Thank God, really, for saving me from causing as much destruction to my life as you are.

Joker, get real.

I just hope you won't be as stupid anymore.

Me too. I need someone to fill my heart up again, but I know I can't do it, I mustn't, to save my life.

Seriously, I need to kiss somebody. :/

Aug 3, 2009

You asshole.

(YD, just for today)

Get your life right. I know my life is screwed, but at least I know it. Your life is screwed and you're screwing it further without realising it. I thought you would've been smart enough by now to know that it'll only bring more hurt and shit all over again.

I thought we were special. Weren't we? What we had was definitely not like anyone else's. I thought our story was special; it turns out, maybe it was just normal. How could something like that be only normal?

Only I know. Only I know.

Joker, you never fail to surprise me.

Get real.

When I said this to Maddie, and when I said it to Janice, I knew I was talking about myself too.
We all have a certain measure of love in our hearts, let's think of it as a thick tough rubbery bubble-shaped container of love. Once it's been filled and expanded, it can't shrink. After that measure has been filled and expanded and then emptied all of a sudden, it's suddenly devoid of love. Love is gone and that tough bubble is burst, leaving a huge hole where it once was. With a hole in your heart, your heart can't cope. Your heart would subconsciously try to find all ways to fill it, resorting to desperate measures. Maybe if it can't find someone to love, it would resort to coming up with an imaginary character to love. Maybe that's how some people turn mental.

* shared her story with me once. It was just as I had guessed - even though her life seemed great on the outside, it was a mess on the inside. She didn't have the love of a father, and so she subconsciously started seeking for love, desperately, even without her noticing it.

Ever known/heard of someone who had a really long-term relationship that was real love, but after they broke up, the guy turned into a playboy?

There's a hole in my heart now, and my heart's trying to look for all ways to fill it. My heart is devastated, destroyed, in denial, deluded, desperate - and if this carries on, it'll be the death of me.

I'd never like you if I were in my right mind. Not that you aren't likeable in that sense, but you're definitely just not the kind of person I'd, you know, fall in love with. I know my heart's in a real mess and needs to feel the ecstasy and security and comfort of love again; once you've experienced it, it's hard to do without it. I'm struggling, I just hope I'll be able to get out of this before it takes my life.

"Right after my O levels, her aunt came up to me to tell me to break up with her"
A sweet story of love forcefully torn apart by her parents.
"I'm staying single for JC life"
I'd never have expected that to come from you, especially because I heard from my senior and S that you hung out with girls a lot, too much. Hearing that from you was reassuring, but it also broke my heart because I knew you're doing this because you still love her, and can't forget her. Well, I'm in no position to say this, but stay strong (:

Two confused hearts -

One longing for love, and one afraid of it.

One whose story has yet to begin, and one who hopes it’s the end.

It's funny to hear you talk about your problems because of what I've just gone through, but I love how you confide in me anyway.

Jia you love love (:

Your turn to get real

Your attitude is revolting. You're too blinded by pride and rebellion to know I'm talking about you, don't you?

It's going to get you nowhere, girl. You and your friend are right, what a joke, you think you're cool like that but really, it's just the two of you in delusion, not realising everyone else thinks you're just plain disgusting and very immature.

Get real.

"What kind of a name is Tinky Winky?" - Kauthami

1) Festival of Praise with Maddie and Jan was quite fun, although I bet it would've been tons funner if Hillsong were there. I was almost able to go for the Hillsong concert but Annie who had the tickets couldn't contact me T.T T.T
There was a not-young-but-not-elderly man in front of Janice and I, and the way he was praising God was really...weird. But I really admire it. He didn't care at all about what the other people around were thinking. Maybe he has a mental problem, but it's for the better! There was also this rather young guy two rows in front, he was swaying in a rather drunk manner as he was clapping along which I thought was really cute. When that guy was raising his hand in praise, and when the older man was doing a certain action (he bowed his head and looked like as if he was offering something to God with his head bowed), for a split second my heart jumped and tears came to my eyes. And I thought, maybe sometimes God lets us feel what He feels when he sees certain things, to let us learn a little more about Him. It touched me a lot for some reason.

2) Went to the library with Yao De and his brother to study from 12 to 6. I studied Development for today's time trial, and I spent FIVE HOURS studying Reasons and Indicators, i.e. everything except Strategies, and then Janey sms-ed me at around five to tell me that we're going to be tested on STRATEGIES. -.- -.- -.-