When I said this to Maddie, and when I said it to Janice, I knew I was talking about myself too.
We all have a certain measure of love in our hearts, let's think of it as a thick tough rubbery bubble-shaped container of love. Once it's been filled and expanded, it can't shrink. After that measure has been filled and expanded and then emptied all of a sudden, it's suddenly devoid of love. Love is gone and that tough bubble is burst, leaving a huge hole where it once was. With a hole in your heart, your heart can't cope. Your heart would subconsciously try to find all ways to fill it, resorting to desperate measures. Maybe if it can't find someone to love, it would resort to coming up with an imaginary character to love. Maybe that's how some people turn mental.
* shared her story with me once. It was just as I had guessed - even though her life seemed great on the outside, it was a mess on the inside. She didn't have the love of a father, and so she subconsciously started seeking for love, desperately, even without her noticing it.
Ever known/heard of someone who had a really long-term relationship that was real love, but after they broke up, the guy turned into a playboy?
There's a hole in my heart now, and my heart's trying to look for all ways to fill it. My heart is devastated, destroyed, in denial, deluded, desperate - and if this carries on, it'll be the death of me.
I'd never like you if I were in my right mind. Not that you aren't likeable in that sense, but you're definitely just not the kind of person I'd, you know, fall in love with. I know my heart's in a real mess and needs to feel the ecstasy and security and comfort of love again; once you've experienced it, it's hard to do without it. I'm struggling, I just hope I'll be able to get out of this before it takes my life.
"Right after my O levels, her aunt came up to me to tell me to break up with her"
A sweet story of love forcefully torn apart by her parents.
"I'm staying single for JC life"
I'd never have expected that to come from you, especially because I heard from my senior and S that you hung out with girls a lot, too much. Hearing that from you was reassuring, but it also broke my heart because I knew you're doing this because you still love her, and can't forget her. Well, I'm in no position to say this, but stay strong (: