I promised not to blog anymore, but...

Unproductive study session. Stupid Yingyan kept messing around with my iPod and talking VERY LOUDLY in the completely quiet library because she couldn't hear herself.

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annnnnn wgqyD7qo says (6:38 PM):

my class only has 1 poly student

JC OR POLY?!??!!!!!?!!! I definitely want to go on to do a degree. But there's only ONE poly student in her course!!!

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Mandy Sellars replied, heeheehee!

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Happened to meet a 6B'05 classmate today, the one we've all seemed to have lost contact with (until he joined the 6B Facebook group - and Haris too), the joker who was the pro at Blind Mice, making random sharp quick turns even with his eyes closed to catch a "mouse" off-guard - Huai Shen. I wasn't sure if it was him or not but his familiar smile confirmed it. I'm not sure if he recognised me, though - his smile and wave were a little awkward. That's the bad thing about having changed a lot in terms of appearance since primary school. (Mr Kong says I still look the same though - and he never even taught me.)

From the P6 me (LEFT) to

See, my teeth were really bad even in P6 - and I had been wearing retainers since P4, so they were even worse before that.

I wonder what some of our 6B'05 classmates will say upon seeing Jieying.

From the P6 her (RIGHT) to (RIGHT)

One wrong step and there's no turning back

Shit, another long post. But please read this please help me.


Shu En, my paternal cousin, and Peter, my maternal cousin, who don't know each other, were having an MSN chat (through me). They're both studying in Melbourne now, and Peter wanted to talk to Shu En to "straighten things out" because he was insisting that the University of Melbourne (where Shu En is now) isn't in the city, whereas his college (Taylors College) is. Their conversation thus started with a hilarious argument, before talking more about what's fun/not fun, because according to Shu En everything closes at six but Peter kept saying the fun doesn't end there because there's always clubbing and coffee and chilling at a friend's place.

...Judging by the things they said about Melbourne, I doubt I'll enjoy it.
I was aiming to go to university in Melbourne because I think I'll have a better future in my career if I did Mass Comm there instead of in Singapore. In Australia, you're sort of pushed to become more vocal, and that's essential in a Mass Comm career, right? It might not be for print journalism, which is what I want to do, but it'll be of a much greater help nevertheless.


But the shops close at six? Coffee? Clubs? ..No. I don't think I'd want to retreat to my room/apartment (perhaps I'll move in with Aunty Mei Ling and Peter and Melissa) after dinner everyday to... study either, for goodness' sake, although I guess I'll have to mug if I want to get anywhere. But seriously, if coffee, chilling, clubbing, taking a walk in the park and being at home are the only options for me after six in the evening, I doubt I'd make it through university there.


I also know I'll miss Singapore like mad. In Japan, in the chilly autumn-winter weather, when everything was so serene and picturesque and quaint and fairytale-like, I was very taken in by the beauty, but I also missed Singapore. Singapore, where you could walk out in FBTs and slippers; Singapore, where most hawker centres' levels of cleanliness are dubious and the kopi aunties scream your orders across the place; Singapore, where I'm free to be who I really am.


Singapore definitely isn't the best city ever, but it's where I was born and raised and thus my heart will always be here. That's why sometimes I wish I were born somewhere else, somewhere truly beautiful, like the peaceful towns in Japan with the polite, hospitable people - if I were born there, that's where my heart will be. But it isn't, and so no matter how much I love the towns, I'll never be able to live there because my heart would be wrenching for sunny kiasu busy noisy Singapore.


Plus, if staying in Japan gets me this homesick, Australia will kill me. I love the city; I've been there before in 2004 with Sumay, but... well, for one, I'm pretty introverted; secondly, I don't like the kind of lifestyle my cousins are describing - as routine as how my life is now, but with more traps of sin I'll probably fall into; thirdly, I think being around a lot of ang mohs will leave me feeling pretty depressed and alone somehow.
And Japan is... beautiful, undoubtedly the most beautiful country in the world, with the most beautiful people with the kindest hearts, especially in the towns.


Both of them suggested lightly that I try Trinity College after O's. I told them my parents wouldn't have the financial means to support me, but I don't think I'd want it anyway although it does sound appealing. I want to learn Japanese in Ngee Ann Poly on top of Mass Comm because I want to have something to do with the beautiful country in the future. Plus, I don't think I'll be able to live in a foreign - and Western - country for that many years. Being in an angmoh-ish class has already shown me that I can't take angmoh-ness that well. I love Japanese serials and JJ cannot ah?


I don't know, but if I change my mind and decide that perhaps going to Australia for university mightn't be the best choice, I might have to force myself to go to JC. I don't really want to; I love the JC culture and environment but I don't want to take the A levels - it's a huge waste of time to me. The years in JC could be spent in Poly, building up my foundation for my future career (and having a Diploma will earn you advanced standing of about 1 to 1.5 years in University so you don't lose out in the years spent in schooling) instead of learning stuff I'll probably never use again after the A levels anyway.


Help.

Okto makes for mindless humor

The Holy Spirit is fire.

When I speak in Tongues, it helps remind me that God lives within me. It's scary sometimes to know he sees all my faults, my detestable, horribly unclean sins He, a perfect being, should never have to witness. Undoubtedly, though, at times it's so reassuring and incredibly powerful when a tear mysteriously trickles down my cheek as I speak in Tongues even when I'm not sad - a sign of emotional healing, apparently - or when my heart burns with love for Him, something that feels so beautiful, even though the feeling doesn't last long - it's hard to get into that.

The Holy Spirit is the spark that started my heart beating - and the flame that keeps my soul alive.

-

kAiiZ ACVB#4 I think we're alone now. says (5:24 PM):

WHY ARE GUYS GROSS T.T

Stand up little girl, a broken heart can't be that bad says (5:24 PM):

shallow, horny, hot-tempered and opposite genders don't exactly understand each others' minds

kAiiZ ACVB#4 I think we're alone now. says (5:26 PM):

wah lao

i'm not shallow

i'm not hot-tempered

ya

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There's some Junior Jams program and they're showing the auditions. Basically a kids' audition. There's this damn cute guy, Vicnesh, who's like "My main goal is to... have fun... so that I won't cry when I... get out" HAHA he reminds me a lot of my brother's friends somehow. I always refer to young boys who speak with intelligent humour as "my brother's friends' type". And there's this angmoh-ish girl who was so bent on gender equality and women's rights it was damn cute. Something about how guys are typically about drums and soccer but girls have the rights to play the drums too and that's why she's proud of being a drummer.

And now there's this very nerdy primary school girl with thick pink specs looking very professional while tuning someone's violin, mega cute.

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I signed up for a half-hour long consultation with Miss Li (Weiyi) and I ended up taking 1.5 hours, which means I ate into ONE HOUR of a few other 4S2Aers' time. Gosh so sorry.

I also signed up for 7am-8am and %pm-6pm with Mrs Rupa on Friday, the last consultation day before English. I'm going to bombard her with essays; I gave her six to mark today and she only marked ONE! And it was a one-hour long consultation leh.

I got up at 4 today to do an essay about the day I felt the world crumbled around me. I didn't think I would have had much to write on that but I ended up taking four pages - and 1.5 hours, way too long. Mrs Rupa said it was "another heart rendering piece, as usual" but only gave it 23/30 because there were loopholes in the essay. Maybe after the O's I'll type it (and Mirrors) out. Only after the O's because there's not enough time to do it now.

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Jessie and I are getting really excited - too excited - about what we're going to do after the O's (us and Jenna). Everyone must support us okay! When we get enough money from manufacturing and selling her clothes, we'll do some hims. I'm going to be the webmaster and in charge of all the admin stuff - duh, right? I love looking after websites/blogshops. (And I'm aiming for Mass Comm - something doesn't sound right.)

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I aspire to have your lovely smooth radiant rosy complexion one day, W. Yours too J.

HAHAHA

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I don't know why but I feel stupid today, a rush of inspiration/motivation to do something I typically do rashly before feeling a rush of humiliation and regret wash over me. Maybe that's what will happen later. I'm emailing and facebook-messaging Mandy Sellars. Heh heh heh.

I love Nat Geo/Discovery Channel documentaries; it's only a pity I'm unable to watch them all.

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A certain someone said my display picture was "damn pretty" and asked "since when" I became "so pretty one". HAHAHA. Flattering comments make my day.

A compliment really touches me when I least expect one, because the other person isn't obliged to give it, and that shows its sincerity.

Waiting on the line (hanging by a thread)

Watched a show on Nat Geo yesterday called Meet the Natives it's awesome haha everyone go watch, Sunday 11pm!

It's this show where these like, tribal/village/rural people from Papua New Guinea go to England and experience life in a highly developed country. Bloody funny.

On this day exactly a week later, at this time,

I'll have finished taking my English O Level paper

and I'll be freaking out worrying about my A1
and preparing for Math.
I remember Laoshi doing the one-week-later thing on Monday morning a week before the Chinese Os. "On this day at this time one week later, you'll be pasting the labels onto your paper and getting ready to begin". I remember how we were all super freaked out.

Eh, they're both on Mondays. Ah, one more reason to hate Monday.

ENGLISH ENGLISH ENGLISH ENGLISH ENGLISH ENGLISH ENGLISH

Hold on little girl, show me what he's done to you

Went to the library at 9.50 to stand outside it and wait for it to open. I expected it to be a little emptier because the Sec 1-3 exams have ended, but it was more crowded than usual - with O' and A' level takers.

I suck, I'm at home now because I got irritated at Qn 4 of the A Math Mock Paper and the incessant chatter + muttering of the two people sitting opposite me (One of them was even saying her equations out as she was doing her accountancy stuff gosh I almost got up to find another seat) so I left the library.

See lah Suah has gotten me hooked onto Mr Big's To Be With You. :/ Suah do you have the song send me!

Occasionally I listen to JJ's songs and totally fall in love with his voice all over again. Ju Li, Bu Liu Lei De Ji Chang, Endless Road, Sarang Heyo, Shu Neng Sheng Qiao, I was actually smiling to myself in the library.

I think I do the world a favour when I dress plainer than I already am. I hate it when I see cute guys, they reach into my heart and mess it up, whether I know them or not. Tooooooot.

There was something more important I wanted to blog about but I can't remember what, and my mother's limiting my Internet time and she's pissed off like mad now but GOSH I REALLY DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT THAT BLOODY QUESTION FOUR AGAIN I'LL CRY IN FRUSTRATION.

AND THAT SECOND BLOGSHOP PERSON I ORDERED STUFF FROM HASN'T EMAILED ME BACK YET. EITHER. AND I'M GOING TO BE SPENDING $28 WHEN I DON'T EVEN HAVE $12 AHH KILL ME NOW

I want

http://sg.clubcouture.cc
I really like the first one, it's actually two dresses in one, but it's $40 lehhhh ))): But for two dresses it's really worth it, right? The second and third ones are $35.

I WANT ): Help me

I'm listening to a Jay Chou impersonator

JOLLIN'S GOING WITH ME TO HONG KONG!!!!　

When Annie and MX backed out I almost gave up hope. YAY JOLLIN YAY

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

At Cui Xiao's house. She showed me something BLOODY COOL

Yah lah it's in Chinese but that's not the point. These are the icons for Hibernate, Shut Down and Restart. And the observant (and the sick-minded) would realise that:

Guy (Hibernate icon) + Girl (Shut Down icon) = ______ (It ain't that hard to guess)

Cui Xiao's friend's version of what the Restart icon is something about the anus but I think there can be better versions of that lah hor.

Cui Xiao just showed me a picture of a pretty girl but from the way she was sucking SOMETHING it was damn obvious she was performing a blowjob on some guy. The picture didn't show what she was "sucking" on but it's very obvious. Shit it's damn disgusting. It's not funny and it's not cool it's just bloody gross and... everything. Stupid. Gross ughhhhhhh gross help me damn gross.

11 MORE DAYS AND I STILL GO ONLINE EVERY DAY

I have THE CUTEST picture of Mrs Yip. I don't know if I'll get killed for posting it up so I won't (yet), but it's of her using the visualiser - and projecting it on three screens - and putting her face to it and making a stupid expression and sticking out her tongue, so her face is blown up (and upside-down) on three huge screens on the wall, IT'S SERIOUSLY THE BOMB. Everyone, when you see me ask to see the picture :D It's really cute.

Jean tricked Lixin into saying "I have a small vagina" in French. I have the video of them re-enacting the scene, it's the bomb but I can't post it up here lah, I'd be defaming my beautiful school.

I just ordered a $28 biker jacket online but the blogshop owner hasn't gotten back to me regarding my purchase yet. I really like it but I don't know if I'll look nice in it or not, AND I know it's very... outdated. Yah like Suah bought it last December and sold it 'cos she saw too many people wearing it hahaha. Nevermind lah, I still want it anyway. I've always wanted it but my mum has never allowed me to get one. I don't think she'll be happy when she sees it but whatever I WANT THAT JACKET

IMPULSE BUY

Someone buy this from me

Long fringe tank (Long = the tank, not the fringe, although the fringe's quite long too, aiyah cut it lah)

Only worn to take this stupid picture. Selling at $8, obviously making a loss.

A little too big for me. Will definitely fit a UK8 (I'm UK6).

Caution: stitch work's quite poor. But aiyah you/I/my mother can always sew it again. Please lah I'm letting it go at $8 only and i wore it only to take a picture of it to sell -.-

The tee Jessie and Jenna made for Mdm Ong

It says "I'M THE DM" behind.
HAHAHA THE BOMB. I think years from now Mdm Ong will remain Crecsent's legendary Discipline Mistress.

Yay, Jessie Suah and Jenna, my future blogshop (BS) partners!

To make Cui Xiao happy

Whoever watched Riz Low on Youtube, check this out - PCK imitating Riz Low. Thanks, Jonathan, for the link!

I like talking to old friends I haven't talked to in a long while and realised we're still able to chat like as if there were never a distance between us.

JAN AND MADDIE LISTEN TO THIS

Forever Love (Acapella version) by TVXQ.

This, my dear jie&mei, is what ACAPELLA is supposed to sound like. We need to broaden our horizons and get out of the well where we can only hear our own *toot* acapella performances.

AND THIS ONE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE BEATBOX!!!

Listen to it, please (especially Mad), because we need to do better - when/if we start performing again (: I'd like to, by the way. Our previous performances have never done us justice; I'd like to show the world what we've really got one day (and it'd better be damn good).

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Went to Yingyan's house yesterday in an attempt to get myself to study. Okay lah. I revised the chapter on Food (geog). Tried on her prom dress and heels HAHAHA

I thought she was only taking a picture of my foot -.-

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At this age we're full of secret, big dreams and it's nice to hear what everyone's got. Let's all meet up twenty years later and see how many of us have actually fulfilled those dreams, how many changed their ambitions, how many became even more successful than they imagined - and how many fell off the road to success.

I remember one CME period where we went to the hall and sat in a circle and revealed our ambitions. I said something about wanting to do something related to music. That isn't my biggest dream now because I know doing it full-time would be very impractical, but it was nice to dream that dream while I wanted it.

As we all revealed our ambitions one by one, I suddenly realised what a beautiful video and memory that would make, with our "Woah!!!"s and cheers and laughter.

"I want to be a PROFESSIONAL DRUMMER"

"I want to be a rich tai-tai"

"I want to be a newscaster"

"I want to open a pastry shop"

What would you do with a million dollars?

Actually a million in Singapore isn't even enough to buy a decent-sized condo, but still.
Jessie's right. When I've "got money" (aka. more than $30) I end up splurging on my friends so fast and so much that I've got none left before I know it. That time I had $40 and spent it all (and more) on Rachel's and Teressa's presents AND treated Rachel to TCC (but I only had $15 and the bill was $16 hahaha wth so Rachel had to pay $1 on her own)

Which reminds me, I owe Rachel $7 for the neoprints!!!!

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Confession: I spent 3 hours watching TV today.
O's are 13 days away. If I don't get an A1 for English I'll threaten to retake it.

Going to the library to study tomorrow, does anyone happen to want to join me?
Does anyone other than Cuixiao happen to be reading this, anyway? I think I'm the only idiot who's still blogging.

There goes my life

Feel like cursing.

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU OKAY.

MY LIFE FOR YOURS.

I do want to join OB again. If only you didn't mind, b****. I do want it, I still do.
OB's still my family, even if I join Xl Laoshi elsewhere. For you I'm giving it up.
Let me back in, will you?

Went to JE Library and I knew I'd meet someone I knew. I did.

We've officially graduated but we'll never say Farewell

Took 161 pictures today. Album's HERE! I uploaded so many photos via SIMPLE UPLOADER = 5 AT A TIME thanks to screwed bulk uploader. Treasure the photos. Shyan'd better not untag herself from my photos. Will post the link up when the album's done.

I leave my school with too many regrets - there are so many things I have yet to do, so many people I wish I had made friends with or gotten closer to.

I owe all my regrets to my fear of ridicule, to my shyness, to the "what-if"s that take over my mind. I hate that.

A word of advice to anyone: If you want to do something, just do it. Even if you've got your reputation to lose, at least you tried. I hate having regrets.

The first picture Shyan doesn't look unglam in and actually looks almost as pretty as she really is in my pictures. She was the one holding the camera; that explains it. And I look bad ):

Janeen pasted that sticker on my nose.

Janeen: Come, let me measure your eyes! ....0.2cm.

Glenda: OI!

Janeen: Okay okay 1cm!

Because we didn't have Chem today, Teryne, Azalea and I spent an hour camwhoring around the school.

The Arts Conservatory is beautiful in the morning when the sunlight filters in.

And we discovered a PIANO ROOM!!!! Great, on the official last day of Crescent life we realise there's a room we never knew about. I love the room. It reminds me of Japanese gangster student shows, where there are all those super cute guys with tucked out shirts and ruffled hair.

Teryne: Of all the flags, they had to put US and Vietnam together! ?!?!

Glenda and Cuixiao will forever remain the legends of 4S2A. And Bella but I don't have pictures of her today.

Cuixiao: "亲爱的...." HAHAHAHAHA

Ah, farewell assembly was.... unmoving. Even Kelly didn't come close to shedding a tear. Our video rocked though (and 4S2b's). They didn't have the candlelight ceremony this year because, according to Ms Ang, they wanted to "save wax" and "save the Earth". I can't really argue, I guess, because I do want to save the Earth too.

Class party was okay. People liked the brownies my mother made (from a mix HAHA)!

= proof. Wanmin: OOOH!

Jenna, Janey (I think), Teryne and I danced to Let It Rock HOHO LOVE OUR MASS DANCE FOREVER. Eh I thought Ms Ang said there'd be a Best Mass Dance? What happened to that? ):

Jollin and I MUST go to Kbox and sing JJ and SHE songs together someday. Just the two of us singing our hearts out. Must. And take neoprints also.

Love you Jollin (:

I can't believe we didn't take a class photo.

HEEHEE
I had to make my mark before leaving. It'll go away soon but I don't care.

I made sure it could still be seen subtly (:

Sometimes I know God's here

To the dearest Amelia Bimbo Cheng.

Had a good chat with Amelia today. From studies to God to relationships - I love having heart-to-heart talks. I mean, I don't think anyone doesn't, but I think it's rare to be able to engage in... an intelligent conversation. Not many people would be willing to listen. Intelligent conversations are more important to me than anyone could ever imagine - letting my thoughts and points of view be known to others is my main goal in life. People who have the endurance to listen to me talk about my thoughts are amazing. I love Cheng (:

And friend you can always give me a random call okay. I may not be that close to you but you mean incredibly much to me and I'm here for you no matter what, you can always count on me for that. Really enjoyed talking to you today (too). I needed that. I need to have nice lengthy thought-provoking intelligent conversations once in a while. Not many people are willing to hear me out. And it's really nice to be reminded of the fact that I've got a great friend with me whom I can still talk to and be close to even though we've stepped down from Dance and have been in different classes since Sec 3. It's nice to know that I'm more loved than I think I am. It's nice to know I've still got precious friends around me. It's nice to be reminded about you because our friendship is amazing.

No, I've changed my mind. You MUST give me random calls once in a while (:

And yes I can afford the time to post this but not to edit the award thing :D

"Suddenly today everyone has a changed opinion of her already"

Note: I look really weird in the pictures. I hope I usually don't look like this :/
Dear Mrs Chia BAKED for us!

Gosh I really need to cut my fringe. i look like an idiot. Maybe it's the specs lah. Was too lazy to take them off first.

YES MY NEW BLOG SONG IS NOW JJ'S HAI PA!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUPER CUTE CAN!

I miss the him he was four years ago. 2004. Love love love the him I fell in love with.

4 posts in a day, and it's 19 days to O's. Awesome.

Karen could cry

watching Wake Me Up When September Ends.

HELLO I'M IN LOVE WITH JJ AGAIN

Just like what people say about Jay Chou's Fantasy, JJ's Jiang Nan will always be his best album ever (and in my opinion, the best album ever).

Hai Pa, Tian Shi Xin, Dong Jie, Ju Li, Dou Jiang You Tiao - the ballads are so beautifully melodiously melancholic it's not hard to cry listening to them, and the fun songs display the cute side of him. Gosh I love this kid. The personality depicted in this album is the side of him that I fell in love with and the side of him I'll always love and miss, because he's "grown up" now.

Plus he looked incredibly Taiwanese in that album. It was hard to imagine him as a.. Singaporean ACSI guy.

I'm thinking of changing my blog song to Hai Pa. I love my present blog song but... I want Hai Pa. But Hai Pa's really slow. And I want No Surprise too. :/

OH MY JJ.

I remember Rachel, Teressa and I talking about murdering the girl whom JJ kissed in Dong Jie. Nadine hates that girl. "She's not a ballerina! Her movements are WRONG!!!"

I hate that girl's character too. Piang, when JJ tries to hug her she pushes him away and then starts doing the AH LIAN SLAP. WAH LAO. I remember Rachel Teressa and I being furious at her. Yes, so she keeps ah lian slapping her before hugging him again. I can't believe how idiotic JJ's character is. I'm watching them kiss now. Ahh my JJ.

Dong Jie (2004).

OMG I'm watching that video, Dong Jie, and there's this scene near the end where he and the girl are sitting on the bench and talking, and he does that that that shrugging action and "mm not bad" face he always does even now!!!!! OMG SO CUTE. He looks so different, it looks like as if two complete strangers are doing the same mm not bad face. GAHAHAHAHA. And he's doing that straining ugly face too GAHAHAHA

And he looks so stupid with wet hair, just like me! GOSH LAH HE KISS THAT GIRL FOR SO LONG WHERE'S MY TURN

OH SHUCKS I'M CRAZY AGAIN. To look for a picture for this post, I opened my long-abandoned JJ folder. Excluding pictures and stuff I took from his events etc., I've got around 1570 pictures and videos of him. 1570 only?

OMG HOHOHO I WAS LOOKING THROUGH THE OLD PICTURES AND SAW A 2006 ONE, HE USED THE SAME OIL BLOTTER AS WHAT I'M USING NOW!!!! OMG HAHA

His old blog never fails to make me fall in love with him again. The most recent post is very "serious" lah, and the more recent ones aren't very interesting, but all the really-really-long-ago posts are.. so damn cute.

Geog is actually very beautiful when you look at the pictures.

Damn beautiful. Learning it from the diagrams sucks. I would be really interested in Geog if we got first-hand experience (or even pictures like these). Where's the 3D Lab huh? It'd come in handy for this.

One last ride?

Today, for the first time in four years (and the week we graduate), I saw something nice about you. It touched me.

It's nice to know. I remember you telling me about how you brought her to the doctor's once. I thought that was nice too, and I guess I should've known you better than not to think there was so much more in the few sentences you said about it, because you aren't the kind to show your feelings that much.

It's sad to know we won't be going home together anymore. We talk / hang out in school together less and less, and it's usually only during our trips home together that we really begin to talk again. And it would have been nice to know we could still go home together once in a while even if we went our separate ways after Crescent.

Friend, honestly speaking, there are a lot of things about you I can't stand, and people tell me it's a miracle we've been friends for so long, but you matter a lot to me because I know you care for me and that matters so much. The occasional things you say that pierce my heart suck for that moment, but I know that you only do it because you care for me as a friend, and that's terribly important. I know I'd rather live in the painful truth than in delusion. That's what's important - a friend who doesn't care if she hurts you or not because she loves you.

Promise me, Suah, that even if we go to different schools next year we'll still meet up and chat once in a while. Oh and by the way don't go back on your blogshop promise ah ;)

-

We were given our Survival packs today hahaha. There were these star-shaped post-it-like stickers and we were supposed to write a message to someone else on it. So I did this for Cuixiao:

and she said she was so hurt because it was so ugly. She truly meant it by the way. She folded it into some weird shape and I think she left it on the table as she left. T.T And she did this for me:

It reads "Karen. You (will) be among the last few (people) that I (will) forget ^_^"'

and I was like, "Fine lah so you're going to forget me lah!" and then she came up with some rubbish about how her memory will deteriorate and it's impossible for her to remember anyone that long so I'd better be thankful. Dear Xiao, I will totally make sure you remember me forever.

Amelia (Regarding the rabbits): "Wah, ____ actually cares about animals ah"

Had a little chat with Amelia today. I remember a year ago when I was the Dance DM, Amelia told me that she had wanted to be the DM but what she really wanted was the Colours award. This year she said she didn't want it anymore and almost didn't submit the form because she wasn't a committee member, but did it at the last minute for me because I kept nagging. I nagged because I knew that deep down she still wanted it badly. Friends, congratulate Amelia. She got the Colours award (: (and me and Geraldine and Letty and Xiu and Sharon and Glendz)

Four more days to graduation. Let Friday never come.

Janice Lim, in case you haven't realised, I left a comment on your Lj post

Go check it out 'kay, although I think it's quite a strain on the eyes to read because my comment lacks proper sentence structuring.

To the one I'll always be there for:

And you too, Maddie. (:

This picture never fails to crack me up. The lips speak.

Don't know what I'd do without you both, really.

OMG COACH HADEN TOTALLY HAS THE CUTEST GOLDEN RETRIEVER EVER I'LL UPLOAD THE PICTURES SOMETIME THEY'RE ON FACEBOOK GOSH SUPER CUTE

Life sucks when you screw it up at a young age.

I don't suffer from pre-menstrual syndrome. I suffer from post-menstrual syndrome.

I saw the pictures of you and him and the sweetness and intimacy and love killed me.

I remember once you and he and I and JL were on the train together, he said he was getting off and you said okay bye and I heard a kiss. And I was thankful I hadn't looked up.

The most irritating thing about it is that there's no undoing it. My confused feelings keep haunting me and I hate that. No matter how hard I try to run, there's no hiding.

I'm at a different emotional stage now. I'm not missing as much. It's more of wishing it never happened, or wishing that wrenching in my heart would die down. I hate seeing sweet couples. And no I won't get into a relationship for a long time, I hope - I don't want to cause unnecessary hurt to myself again.

Why does something sweet have to end so tragically? I think I'm going to become like Amanda Wingfield, really. So devastated that she becomes delusional. If only we loved each other a little less, if only we had ended this a little earlier, if only we could still remember how much hurt and confusion the arguments caused. Maybe then will we be happier, maybe we'll be able to move on easier.

Shit I can't believe I'm thinking about ____. Maddie knows. I hope it's just a phase that will fade when I leave Crescent.

Someone kill my heart. Now.

-

As if managing my own feelings weren't enough, you said this:

"I know in my heart my plead to be back with you...
But I know it never will happen...
And so I continue acting...
Maybe that's why I have no feelings for other people..."

An ex-GEP student says:

(Daryl)

Raison d'être says (1:11 AM):

like i have batchmates who dun go for recess

but instead train their rubicks cube timing

like under a minute

or discuss astronomy

they know EVERYTHING. they even discuss which telescopes good cos of wad functions

and quantum physics

like how does light act when it hits glass?

how does it know how much goes through the glass and how much is reflected such that we can still see the glass

den i'm like

shit i dunno any of this

i'm going off to play soccer intead

Wah lao, primary school leh. I don't even know how to solve the Rubicks cube. My brother did it in 45 seconds last year or something I think. He's a GEP student too.

*shudders*

FTW FTW

Shit.

Thinking about you got so hot I started to get really, really worried.

Thank goodness I feel nothing for you.

Because Chinese songs make me emo

Has anyone stopped and noticed how beautiful the school really is?

The much-hated but beautiful Routunda.

I've got lots of pictures of the school. The pictures are really nice - I'm complimenting the school, not my photo-taking skills - but it's people that make a picture truly beautiful. These pictures don't have people in them, and as pretty as they are, they're... dead. People make a picture come alive.

Is anyone willing to be my model? (:

-
-

Janeen: Are you looking forward to leaving?

Me: No, not at all. You?

Janeen: Actually I am. It feels like it's been so long already.

I'm not ready to make friends with people who aren't Crescentians. I'll miss that strange, silent warm bond we share. Me and the strangers. I just don't seem to be able to click as much with non-Crescentians. And Crescentians are the only ones whose pictures/smses can make me laugh just by looking at them even when I'm emo.

-

-

Your life is so mysterious it intrigues me, I wish I could be your friend. I wish you could see who I really am, and not judge me by my very innocent face like how everyone does. There's more to me than that. I want you to see that. And I want to know about you too. I know I never will.

...

Shit. I think I'm turning bi. Maybe even les. Hoohoo. At least I'm leaving soon. But I've an aversion to guys. They're usually either too horny or too egoistical. Or shallow. Wait no. With the exception of a handful, all guys are.

-

-

I received two flattering comments from two friends this week.

"You've got an attractive personality"

"Actually you're quite pretty, I don't know why you don't believe me"

It's been a relatively good week. (: