a group of eight i've come to love.

When these walls crumble yet again,

friends help me mend my heart. Friends who text me the next day with syringefuls of encouragement, love, happiness, strength - a mixture of gold. This group of eight, brought together by nothing but passion, its individual members take turns to heal me every time the walls crumble. Which is very frequently.

Taking things one day at a time is how I've managed to get through the past eighteen years, and now it's about getting by an hour at a time, and it's working. I'm not strong yet, still weak, but becoming numb, sometimes even happily numb, which is amazing. No sadness, just sleep and chocolate and the occasional wandering of the mind into the happy bits of the recent past - and boundless fantasies: of arms and laps and lips and heartbeats.

I can't imagine what life will be like the day I find strength. Maybe life will become boring and I'll no longer find the pain in me to write, or the strength will prevent myself from stirring up the memories and pain that I need to write.

What is strength like? I envision strength to be knowing I'm worth something more and being able to say I've had enough and walking away with my head held high knowing it's for the better. I was talking about God's strength with Abi and she said 'Perhaps it's not so much about acquiring God's strength but relying on His strength to get you by.'

I'm getting by now, through the slightly-happy-numbness of my heart and the weird ability to get by without texting you, and even being able to reread your texts and revisit memories fondly. And friends, friends. The different pals in this group of eight, as well as a couple of others in the larger group of forty-two, have seen me through the different periods of time, the different chapters of this story (but through the one same theme that runs through them all) and it's just amazing how they help stem the flow of negativity.

To the one who keeps telling me that any guy of mine is a lucky guy, who texts me just to make sure my mind is constantly distracted from the painful thoughts, who gets me talking about the happier memories and helps me realise I'm smiling again.

To the one who sends me "a lot a lot of hearts" to make me heal faster, even though you don't really know what's making me break apart.

To the one who reassures me of God's presence in me, even though you don't know the exact reason for my pain either, and choose not to probe.

Turn back time three or four weeks and it would've been a different set of pals from this group holding these syringes of love. It's interesting to know. Not that they don't hold them anymore, but it's interesting that you three should be the ones to send me these little messages of strength now. Maybe God's coming to me through every single member of this group of eight, like an invisible thread of strength, tightening the bonds between us.

By the way, I'm really okay. I wonder how you're feeling.

2. The best friends I've had over the years

(Correction to my 15 facts post! I had braces when I was 12!!! Took them out in March '08)

Hard. I don't put friends into a category called "Best". Best is vague, and best sounds competitive. Exclusive. Not for friends. Closest friends sounds more friendly.

School friends

Lydia, the one kindergarten friend I was close to. We played at each other's houses. I remember going to her house - a lot of white, I think it was some really nice condo - and when we were going down to go play, her grandfather (French!) opened the lift door for me and said "Ladies first!" I felt like a princess. Pebbled floor.

When we were six she moved back to France. I found her on Facebook again two years ago.

Yan Hua in P1 and P2; classmate, my first friend in primary school. I went to her house a lot, and our mothers would chat - her mum in Chinese, and then my mum in English. I remember her insanely fun computer game about snow and little math problems in between. We organised class picnics at the canteen together.

Rupini and Evelyn in P3 and P4; with Evelyn I shared an intense love-hate friendship. We got on each other's nerves; she refused to let me copy during Chinese spelling tests (but we both barely passed). I also remember us jumping in the puddles on our way home together. Rupini and Yan Hua didn't like each other. Once we were lining up at the quadrangle; both wanted me to line up with them, pulling each of my arms towards themselves.

P5 and P6: the legendary Rachel & Teressa. I wrote in my diary about sitting beside "a nice girl called Rachel" when I was the table row leader and she was assistant (HAHA), and Teressa was part of the Teressa-Raymeo-Karen-Derrick perpetual-note-passing-at-first-row gang. Rachel and Teressa were already best friends before; they introduced me to JJ...and started my never-ending journey of JJ fandom.

BRACESSleepover'05

And we've stayed strong till this day. Awesome picnic on National Day; spent the 2011 New Year sleeping over at Teressa's place (just like old times!); we spend every Teachers' Day together, because it's Teressa's birthday (and near Rachel's). Our friendship's a blessing.

Sec 1 & 2: I had a clique - Nadine Jiayi Yimei Lingling Silvana and sometimes Amelia.

HIDAMARI. That's what we thought the keychain was called. We loved them. We named our clique after it.

Their limbs fall apart easily, but never the head. We tried.

The only time I was truly an extrovert. In Sec 2 I had a fall-out with Yimei because of something I called a 'virus of my mind'; I just suddenly couldn't take being around her anymore. I hated myself because Yimei was the most caring lovely friend anyone could ever ask for. So I distanced myself from The Hidamarians, hoping Yimei would find comfort in these friends.

In my confusion, I found comfort in someone else who was in crazy friendship problems too, and we just stuck. Shermin. Like finding shelter in a raging storm.

HEH. I COULDN'T RESIST

Her Chinese name was 诗敏; the first word means poem. My Chinese name apparently means 'soothing melody'. We wrote songs together - she composed the lyrics, and I the tune. Our most iconic one would be the first, 失恋的滋味. We recorded them with my tablet PC in this room in the Arts Conservatory where our SYF props for Dance were kept.

Upper Sec: the lovely Cui Xiao. I was a lonely kid in upper sec (but I didn't care because I had my ex). She's not the kind of person you'd expect as a closest friend, but she's insanely enlightening in the little thoughts of hers. It just...opens up your mind. The way she thinks is amazing, great for someone like me. I just met her earlier this month for dinner!

JC: In class it's Amelia; we share almost every break which is weird because hardly anyone else does (hooray for no Chem / H2 Math!), so we have lots of htht time in the void deck; best thing's that it isn't crowded because the rest are having lessons!

And of course there's the Council, and the Exco - 'nuff said in all my other posts. I guess the closestestest would be Reuben, Emme and Pauline (because she's also my foster sibling, together with Fangjiunn and Seokhoon) and Weiliang. But the others - Jaslyn, Jus-smurf-tin, Geraldine, Chloe, Van and alllllll the others. All of us.

Non-school

There was JJFC that helped me through my very angsty Sec 2 period: firstly, Jacey, and then JT, Janice and Maddie - the four of us joined OB Music Forest (JJ's music company's school) together, and we were evidently inseparable. The day before our audition to be in the singers' training course, we gave ourselves a name - J4M; JM stands for 杰迷 or 'JJ Fans'; but it's really 'JMs 4 Music'. We were an acapella group (I was the harmoniser). And....we were the only people JJ gave an A to. HEEHEE. Later on an omy.sg interview, he said J4M was the one that left him and the other judges with the deepest impression; he didn't expect acapella from a group of 4 girls whom he knew were his fans. HEEHEE. It was super shiok seeing 'J4M' appear in front of his face on the screen. OMG.

HALLOWEEN

We still meet sometimes, at church and stuff; I'm closest to Maddie now.

And last but not least....... THE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS

(our parents and the rest of The NUS Choirmates meet up every Chinese New Year & Christmas. We've known one another for longer than we can remember.)

WE COOKED TGT LAST SATURDAY. I COOKED.

Sarah. We went to Sunday school together and had countless sleepovers at her place. Her awesome pink room and armchair and every other pretty thing inside. I loved her house. I watched her golden retriever grow up. We watched Britney's videos and concluded she wasn't wearing undies; we played random computer games like Graal; we experimented with dark purple nail polish and body glitter (SHE STILL HAS THAT GLITTER STICK IN HER HOUSE); we spent two hours in the bathtub (until her grandmother got worried); omg we staged plays for our parents hahahahahaha.

Sumay. I wasn't as close to her initially, but we did have sleepovers in primary school too. I remember her condo's swimming pool. We and our brothers took up badminton when I was about 12 or 13. (I sucked.) It's interesting that I used to see Sarah every Sunday morning, and then it became badminton with Sumay every Sunday morning. We were there for each other every stage of our lives. I know the names of her primary school crushes and her classmates and all the stress she's been through. I was there for her through her breakups; she was there through mine. I remember crying at Boonlay MRT station while she consoled me through the phone: "You've got to be strong. You can't turn back now. You have to stay strong."

And it's great to have childhood friends. Sarah and I went to Australia (TOGETHER! ALONE!) in the first week of this June holiday to visit our other childhood friend Audrey. Which reminds me, I haven't blogged about it!

Sumay and I still meet and make sure we're updated with everything about each other's lives - it's been quite a feat, actually; we're not in the same school, not in the same level, yet we know everything. It's been much harder to update each other about everything now that we're in JC, but we have our ways. Today we wrote down on paper where we'd like to see ourselves in 30 years' time. Today we exchanged straw hearts.

Why can't I rotate the pictures?!

yay, I'm blessed, I'm blessed.

Someone said my complexity makes me beautiful.

Sometimes when deep down, you're very needy of something, and someone comes along and happens to give you what you need - unknowingly, maybe - you can't help but cling on to it in desperation. And then you cling on to the person. And if you aren't careful, the clinging becomes more emotionally involved than you'd ever intended.

My feelings have been in a colourful violent whirly mess these few days, but I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm thinking I'm pretty screwed up inside where it counts. I don't have the energy to decipher my feelings, and I don't want to. I don't want to know and I don't want to care.

Just don't.

I don't really like the feeling of liking someone. I like being able to be completely comfortable with a friend and be genuine, open and truthful for the sake of nothing more than a great friendship. It's a little weird that the two or three people I'm closest to in Council (in the sense that we htht the most) happen to be guys - I usually stick to girls more - but I love the feeling of being able to develop a genuine, deep friendship without worrying at all about any emotional lines blurring with them somehow.

Like Reu, WL, what would I do without you two.

I was thinking about it today - we all have these little flings with love, and sometimes with these little bouts of infatuation, everything seems really intense, but then you realise you two actually don't know each other all that well, or haven't been around for each other enough to develop that strong mutual understanding of close friends, almost telepathic.

We've seen one another through our most unglam moments.

Remember: All I see is the red floor of the track - a blurry image thanks to sweat mixed with tears; my hair's in a mess and my arms are shaking, there's the occasional painful whimper, and all I hear is a mess of shouts - of tenacity and of encouragement, and of scolding above us. Justin's in his white specs, also drenched with sweat, occasionally shouting out cries of endurance; despite all his own pain, he reaches out to support me. Allowing me to rest my shin on his calf in an attempt to hold me up. Our legs are too slippery with sweat for it to do any good; it's useless, and I'm only causing a greater burden on him - but he struggles to hang on just as I do, and I know we're in it together.

Another time, I ask for permission to hold WL up. He's crumbling; I'm in the crunches position, trying to hold him up with my shins. It isn't easy, but I know that if I do a little more, he can push himself a little less. Little frequent cries - everyone's on the verge of breaking, but if we can do a little more for the sake of someone else and not ourselves, we'll survive. Hang in there, we shout, just a bit more to go.

They've seen me stand before them, drenched in sweat, hair in a mess, wiping away tears.

These people - we've been there as one during tough, tough times, both physically and emotionally. We've been there to tell one another to stay strong. We've shown one another such genuine love and care. We're willing to do a little more to make them happy. We're so comfortable around each other, knowing the rest in the group love us as much as we do. We've developed such a strong mutual understanding - irreplaceable.

Sweet, sweet friends, who I rant to all the time but are still always there to give me the love I need, just because. How I, the annoying once-perpetually heartbroken victim of non-reciprocal feelings, kept ranting to WL about the same thing for months because of how much it affected me, and how one day he gave me the link to Heart Vacancy by The Wanted.

With friends like that... without knowing it, I've gotten more love than I could ever ask for. Stupid me, I once kept clinging onto someone who didn't see all that pain, while those around me who did kept trying to make me see that they would always be there for me, lovingly, unreservedly.

Irreplaceable. And with these friendships, I'm reminded of how small infatuation seems, although the heart-warmth can seem like a dizzyingly, overpoweringly big thing. The love of friends like that transcends all.

Even Harry Potter can't cheer me up like Sumay does

Nobody understands me like you, dear, fantastically crazy childhood friend who has known me since I was, what, one year old. We've been through too much together. You know how Ron and Hermione have moments they totally can't stand each other, and moments they go crazy together, but through it all they know they understand each other completely and they can't do without each other (and Harry)? How even when one leaves for a while, or one storms away in anger, both of them know this won't last too long because their friendship is so much deeper than that.

That's like you and me. These past...sixteen years... we've been through a horrible lot of shiz. There were huge rows, a lot of tears, and through all of that, there was the desperation to salvage our friendship because even in our tears and anger we knew we couldn't do without each other. The hurt didn't kill us, and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Then there were the times either you or me felt like the world was coming to an end and all either one of us could do was to call the other and cry and cry and cry. Yes, there were our other friends, and we mightn't be able to meet up that much, but we knew that our friendship and understanding of each other transcended our distance. We knew we'd be there for each other. There would be no doubt.

What would I do without you, Sumay. The one who pulls me back down to earth when I need it, the one who provides the delusional, idealistic me with a practical point of view, the one who's there when I need to cry, the one who's there when I need to laugh like a maniac.

The one I'm there for when she needs to cry.

With all the care they've showered you with all along,

you realise any one of them deserves your love more than the one you're trying to cling on to, the one who also happens not to care.

Craze: To cause to become mentally deranged or obsessed; make insane.

A friend just gave me the link to Heart Vacancy by The Wanted and told me to take a look at the lyrics.

When you've got friends like these, you look back and realise how horrible you've been to them.

For months, all my heart's been about one guy. It was to him a passing phase; to me a craze. I know I shouldn't give my heart freely to someone who doesn't see me the way I see him, but it's something one can't help doing.

Imagine an owner who loved a puppy, but decided later on when the dog had grown up that it wasn't so cute and lovable after all. The dog wouldn't understand the owner's sudden disinterest; it'd run after the owner, it wouldn't give up. He's all the dog has.

I can't stand how I'm letting someone - who doesn't feel for me at all - make my heart soar and fall so much without even realising. I'm getting better at managing my feelings, thankfully, but it's happened too many times in the past.

And there are all these people around me who don't run away when I need a listening ear, who are there to hear me rant and shout and emo. And to remind me that I'm worth more.

Thank you Reu, WL, Amelia, Binkai, Pau, Justin and more, for being there to listen and offer words of comfort (or little jokes to make me laugh), and helping me remember that I'm more loved and less lonely than I think. For helping me remember how stupid I am to allow myself to be controlled by someone who doesn't notice, because I'm worth more.

"Memories are funny when you relive them years after."

- Shehnaz.

Sweet memories of innocent love in our childhood days, sweeter memories of infatuation in our years as immature, curious preteens, painful memories of betrayal and heartbreak and friendship problems, of crying alone, of death of a pet or loved one -

after years fly by and the hurt is healed and you lose the strong feelings attached to the memories, we look back at them- happy, sad, humiliating, traumatising - with a certain fondness.

The reason everyone should keep diaries.

<-Aww. <-Australia'04

<-Braces '05

And last but not least.... get ready for it...

(Bryson, this is a warning to you)

...

2003 HAHAHAHAHAHA

This little gem in my life

is amazing. And I mean it, seriously, in a good way. She's amazing. And very cheerful and terribly cute. She's not exactly a very close friend of mine but she's taught me a lot about being optimistic even in situations that I'd never be able to compliment in any way. Situations like this:

We've officially graduated but we'll never say Farewell

Took 161 pictures today. Album's HERE! I uploaded so many photos via SIMPLE UPLOADER = 5 AT A TIME thanks to screwed bulk uploader. Treasure the photos. Shyan'd better not untag herself from my photos. Will post the link up when the album's done.

I leave my school with too many regrets - there are so many things I have yet to do, so many people I wish I had made friends with or gotten closer to.

I owe all my regrets to my fear of ridicule, to my shyness, to the "what-if"s that take over my mind. I hate that.

A word of advice to anyone: If you want to do something, just do it. Even if you've got your reputation to lose, at least you tried. I hate having regrets.

The first picture Shyan doesn't look unglam in and actually looks almost as pretty as she really is in my pictures. She was the one holding the camera; that explains it. And I look bad ):

Janeen pasted that sticker on my nose.

Janeen: Come, let me measure your eyes! ....0.2cm.

Glenda: OI!

Janeen: Okay okay 1cm!

Because we didn't have Chem today, Teryne, Azalea and I spent an hour camwhoring around the school.

The Arts Conservatory is beautiful in the morning when the sunlight filters in.

And we discovered a PIANO ROOM!!!! Great, on the official last day of Crescent life we realise there's a room we never knew about. I love the room. It reminds me of Japanese gangster student shows, where there are all those super cute guys with tucked out shirts and ruffled hair.

Teryne: Of all the flags, they had to put US and Vietnam together! ?!?!

Glenda and Cuixiao will forever remain the legends of 4S2A. And Bella but I don't have pictures of her today.

Cuixiao: "亲爱的...." HAHAHAHAHA

Ah, farewell assembly was.... unmoving. Even Kelly didn't come close to shedding a tear. Our video rocked though (and 4S2b's). They didn't have the candlelight ceremony this year because, according to Ms Ang, they wanted to "save wax" and "save the Earth". I can't really argue, I guess, because I do want to save the Earth too.

Class party was okay. People liked the brownies my mother made (from a mix HAHA)!

= proof. Wanmin: OOOH!

Jenna, Janey (I think), Teryne and I danced to Let It Rock HOHO LOVE OUR MASS DANCE FOREVER. Eh I thought Ms Ang said there'd be a Best Mass Dance? What happened to that? ):

Jollin and I MUST go to Kbox and sing JJ and SHE songs together someday. Just the two of us singing our hearts out. Must. And take neoprints also.

Love you Jollin (:

I can't believe we didn't take a class photo.

HEEHEE
I had to make my mark before leaving. It'll go away soon but I don't care.

I made sure it could still be seen subtly (:

One last ride?

Today, for the first time in four years (and the week we graduate), I saw something nice about you. It touched me.

It's nice to know. I remember you telling me about how you brought her to the doctor's once. I thought that was nice too, and I guess I should've known you better than not to think there was so much more in the few sentences you said about it, because you aren't the kind to show your feelings that much.

It's sad to know we won't be going home together anymore. We talk / hang out in school together less and less, and it's usually only during our trips home together that we really begin to talk again. And it would have been nice to know we could still go home together once in a while even if we went our separate ways after Crescent.

Friend, honestly speaking, there are a lot of things about you I can't stand, and people tell me it's a miracle we've been friends for so long, but you matter a lot to me because I know you care for me and that matters so much. The occasional things you say that pierce my heart suck for that moment, but I know that you only do it because you care for me as a friend, and that's terribly important. I know I'd rather live in the painful truth than in delusion. That's what's important - a friend who doesn't care if she hurts you or not because she loves you.

Promise me, Suah, that even if we go to different schools next year we'll still meet up and chat once in a while. Oh and by the way don't go back on your blogshop promise ah ;)

-

We were given our Survival packs today hahaha. There were these star-shaped post-it-like stickers and we were supposed to write a message to someone else on it. So I did this for Cuixiao:

and she said she was so hurt because it was so ugly. She truly meant it by the way. She folded it into some weird shape and I think she left it on the table as she left. T.T And she did this for me:

It reads "Karen. You (will) be among the last few (people) that I (will) forget ^_^"'

and I was like, "Fine lah so you're going to forget me lah!" and then she came up with some rubbish about how her memory will deteriorate and it's impossible for her to remember anyone that long so I'd better be thankful. Dear Xiao, I will totally make sure you remember me forever.

Amelia (Regarding the rabbits): "Wah, ____ actually cares about animals ah"

Had a little chat with Amelia today. I remember a year ago when I was the Dance DM, Amelia told me that she had wanted to be the DM but what she really wanted was the Colours award. This year she said she didn't want it anymore and almost didn't submit the form because she wasn't a committee member, but did it at the last minute for me because I kept nagging. I nagged because I knew that deep down she still wanted it badly. Friends, congratulate Amelia. She got the Colours award (: (and me and Geraldine and Letty and Xiu and Sharon and Glendz)

Four more days to graduation. Let Friday never come.

Janice Lim, in case you haven't realised, I left a comment on your Lj post

Go check it out 'kay, although I think it's quite a strain on the eyes to read because my comment lacks proper sentence structuring.

To the one I'll always be there for:

And you too, Maddie. (:

This picture never fails to crack me up. The lips speak.

Don't know what I'd do without you both, really.

OMG COACH HADEN TOTALLY HAS THE CUTEST GOLDEN RETRIEVER EVER I'LL UPLOAD THE PICTURES SOMETIME THEY'RE ON FACEBOOK GOSH SUPER CUTE

I haven't updated in ages

Sarah and Sumay, I refuse to upload the pictures onto Facebook. :P Get them here, I'll tell you guys when I post the pictures up!

--

Was replying Abigail's email about my CHC post and I realised something.

I really think God comes to me through people, maybe because I'm able to relate to people much better than something intangible/invisible like God. I seriously think so.. if he comes to some people this way too. I mean, everyone's different, everyone receives God differently too. And come on, He's capable of doing anything!

And if it's true, if He really does come to me through people, then I guess I'm very blessed, and if it's true, then I know He hasn't forgotten my existence. (:

How Jason spends his time and a lot of effort to talk to/counsel/help me, the Christmas card Xueling Laoshi gave me that said "You have great potential in your voice! Continue to believe in your dreams!", how Janice comforted me and prayed for me when I started freaking out before the Fei Chang Ge Shou auditions, how Xiao Xuan hugged me and prayed for me when I was trembling with trauma during the Prayer Meeting, how Jessie helps me out all the time and tells me when I do something I shouldn't, how Jessie's very concerned about my relationship with God and always tries to help me, how Jt always tries to help me grow closer in my faith by praying for me and telling me stuff the pastors talked about in service and encouraging me when I'm emo and buying that book for me (there girl! :D) even though she's only just started this religion, how all my friends help me when I feel like I'm alone and nearly want to give up on faith...

There are just so many people who've blessed my life and everytime someone does, I pray for that person to be blessed too, along with everyone else who helped me before, because I really believe God came to me through these person when He wanted to tell/show/teach me something, or help me when I'm down, because I guess I'm still not ready to relate to a God who I can't see or hear or feel.

Because of the CHC post, I've gotten closer to a lot of people who came to comfort me, through SMSes/emails/tags or face-to-face.. Dance juniors, people I was once good friends with, people I never really knew well, and even my primary school classmate... It's amazing, we're all so different, my friendship with you guys were beginning to fade, or I didn't even really know you guys well, but because of this incident I became closer to a few people, and I realise that there are more people who care for me than I think. I'm not close to many people, but now I realise there are people who care for me, and that really means a lot to me.

Thanks you guys, I really love you guys to the maxxxxxxxx, it may not seem so but every encouraging word you said gave me hope and made me feel really loved and blessed, and you guys (and what you said) really mean a lot to me.

Special thanks to Jason (who probably doesn't read my blog but yeah), because whenever I was in need of help you were there, because you prayed that I would be able to come for CG, because you helped me talk to my parents and everything, because you came to me and prayed for me during the Prayer Meeting, because it helped me calm down a little. Thanks for meeting up with me to talk about how I felt during the Prayer Meeting, because I think I really needed your help. Thank you for always reassuring me that I didn't have to worry about not being able to come for CG, thanks for assuring me that you would talk to my parents and everything.

And
You're my most unlikely confidant, but a great one too.
I don't know if things will change between us after this but I do miss you as a friend.
Thanks Amelia. (:

Two long posts in a day (Sarah, read both)

Oh, and
happy birthday my dear friend!!!!!!
I feel compelled to write a birthday message, because I've known you since, what, forever? :/ There are so many wonderful memories we shared together.
Painting our nails with dark purple nail polish when we were ten.
Sitting at your jazz dance class center waiting for you to finish your dance class, occassionally peeping in trying to spot you :P
Pouring teaspoonfuls of that funny spice thing at the thosai shop after we had lunch there.
Bak kut teh at Tekka Market. And that time we ate Bak Kut Teh and I refused to try pig's intestines and then I saw something floating in my soup and you said you didn't know what it was and after I ate it you said it was pig's intestines -.-
Eating PIGEON at some restaurant. Oh eww.
And we were never able to finish our lunch and one of the few times we managed to finish our whole plate of rice your mother went "WOAH! GOOD GIRLS!"
Your mother laughing about something your grandfather commented about because he's colour-blind.
That funny smell in your grandparents' room in your house.
Pento when she was small, Pento when she was big and we lay on her stomach to sleep.
Pento refusing to come into your room.
Meeting Sze Min and Yin Yue. I can't remember what age I was. The period of time we were crazy about AARON CARTER HAHAHAHAHA. And Yin Yue said something about some guy piercing his dick and I was like, later the pee come out of the wrong place!
Sumay, you and I sleeping over at my house on my 12th birthday. And we made signs on a4 paper and stuck it all over the place! I think I still have the "If you can read this you're too close" one!
Playing GRAAL OMG!!!! Remember the horses? And I had a crush on some nineteen-year-old from US HAHAHA. I downloaded it again some time ago btw. And then uninstalled it XD
Stealing sweets from one of your mum's choir friends! He had a jar of sweets on his table remember?
HANDBELLS!
Kneeling in front of the chapel holding palm leaves during Easter Day.
Sleeping at 7am and waking up at 11am on one of the days I slept over at your house. And forgetting to brush my teeth.
MAKING MINI CONCERTS FOR OUR PARENTS DURING OUR SLEEPOVERS! Man that was so embarrassing.
You crying when your mother forced you to practice your violin.
....Stranded. O.O And some porn vid. Remember the male and female toilet sign one? :/
Talking porn with you and Sumay during Christmas at dunno-which-aunt's house. So lame. And Genevieve was trying to irritate us.
You and Sumay making farting sounds while I bent down in this weird position and pretended to fart! OMG HAHAHAHAHA
That time you said "Do you prefer sleeping over in my house or your house?" and I said "Yours" and you said "Yeah me too!"
Playing with Barbies and soft toys in your parents' car on the way to church!
Discussing our PSLE answers together. And I didn't know how to do the last math MCQ question and you were explaining it to me and i was like OKAY NEVERMIND. XD

This post is too long. Sorry Sarah! The point is I LOVE YOU LOADS. Today during Lync you laughed and that laugh stuck me in a way. Like, it was the same weird very Sarah-ish laugh I used to hear so many times when we were younger. Okay the way I describe it makes it sound stupid but.. it made me realise that you haven't changed. Much. Although we see each other, like, twice a year now, and it used to be once a week, you're still the same, and I'm really thankful for that, because you're really a great friend to me. I don't know if you know this but when I was younger you influenced me a lot. I used to admire you a lot yeah. And I miss that friendship we had, the nothing-can-separate-us-from-being-the-best-of-friends friendship. I hope we'd be able to bring that back, one day, when we get to meet more often (:

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!