Jun 30, 2010

Okay I spent too long on my INFP post

I am so proud of myself today (*girl guide smile*) - I was the last person to come back from the 15-minute toilet break in between our Chinese papers and everyone was staring at their papers silently so I thought Paper 2 had already begun, so I hurried back to my seat and started. And five minutes later the teacher went "开始" and booklets started flipping open and I realised I had begun too early. So I fought the what-ifs in my mind and raised my hand and told the examiner and got a new question and answer paper. I'm pretty glad I did it because although I was afraid of the consequences of telling and none of the examiners had noticed anyway, it wouldn't be right not to own up. Integrity. I learnt it at Council camp.

I still didn't finish the paper, by the way. I only wrote around two sentences for my summary. I can't believe I spent five on the six chapters/stories for Chinese and only one came out - the one I had spent, like, two minutes on.

I'm obsessed with the MBTI thing.

I'm as obsessed with it as some people can be with horoscopes.

I took a test again and it said I'm an INFJ. Actually on my actual MBTI answer slip I wrote INFJ; I don't know why I got the INFP booklet. But I read about both types online and I still feel I'm more of an INFP.
Maybe my responses aren't totally accurate because I unknowingly let my idealism take over and tick the responses that describe who I'd like to be more than who I am.

INFP - Questor/Healer — "I Never Find Perfection"
Wow this is really true. I guess it has to do with INFPs viewing their lives very intensely even though they seem to be quite laid-back. My obsession with perfection makes me very stressed about where I am in my life and what I'm doing with it, and is the main cause for my permanent depression / nagging emo-ness behind the loud laughter and fixed smiles. I worry a lot about things not working out; I lack faith in the things happening around me.

It's the strong idealism thing I guess. When your world's an imaginary one full of ideals (I tend to take reality and warp it in my head to become what I wish things were), reality only hits you in short, sudden bouts when your long train of thoughts are momentarily stunned. And then you realise things aren't like what you think they are and get depressed. It happens a lot for me.

They feel a need to be in a committed, loving relationship. If they are not involved in such a relationship, the INFP will be either actively searching for one, or creating one in their own minds.

My world's one of imagination and ideals. It sucks sometimes. My mind is a vulnerable never-stopping imagining emo-ing thinking machine. It's just bad. If/when I like someone, idealism is dangerous. And then, in a relationship, the worrying, emo-ing, this-is-imperfect-and-thus-my-life-is-screwed side acts up and engulfs me.


INFPs' tendency to be idealistic and romantically-minded may cause them to fantasize frequently about a "more perfect" relationship or situation. They may also romanticize their mates into having qualities which they do not actually possess. Most INFPs have a problem with reconciling their highly idealistic and romantic views of life with the reality of their own lives, and so they are constantly somewhat unsettled with themselves and with their close personal relationships.

...I just realised something.
In conclusion, I'm highly delusional.

The INFPs tend to live in the world of their imagination rather than the real world
May appear at times to be aloof and cool, but still water runs deep.
Is deeply concerned with harmony and maintaining harmony is critical
The INFP is usually very articulate and will NEED to talk about how they feel
(Okay, I can't speak well. Often, when I try to tell someone something I end up sounding really stupid and people often don't get what I'm trying to say. I'm horrible at talking. Writing's fine though. I think it has to do with my confidence level more than anything. I do totally need to express how I feel. All the time. But I usually do it on paper.)

The INFP under great stress will verbally get loud, angry and critical.
(Am I critical when I'm under stress? D: But yes it's true, I will get loud and angry. Maddie knows... I've shouted at her twice before I think. I'm really sorry Mad. I love you to bits, you know that!!!)

Oh and check this out:

The INFP is likely the MOST ROMANTIC of all 16 types
The INFP has extremely high expectations of intimacy in marriage and relationship
INFPs find sex and romance very, very important

HAHAHAHA okay I think the second one's really true, I don't want to find out how true the sex one is anytime soon HAHA BUT INFPs hold values in especially high regard, and I won't do anything that clashes with my values.


Jun 29, 2010

Annie used to sing this song in class in 2008

And the rattlesnake said,
"I wish I had hands so
I could hug you like a man."
And then the cactus said,
"Don't you understand,
My skin is covered with sharp spikes
That'll stab you like a thousand knives.
A hug would be nice,
But hug my flower with your eyes.

(Because I'm a failure at both Korean and Japanese.)
(Obviously, something else is on my mind when I should be studying.)

Oh my gosh, I look back at my old posts and shudder at how disgusting I used to be. And how crazy mad gullible I was to believe all the (I'm sorry to be using a coarse word) s**t you happily crapped out to me. I mean, really, I can't believe I took it all in. Being with you reduced my mentality to be on par with yours - that of a six-year-old's. I mean, I can't even call them lies... they were far too ridiculous. They were stories only a child would think twice about. I can't believe I took it all in.

I'm a very, very, very gullible and naive person. Most of the time I believe things my friends tell me without questioning them. That's because I don't imagine they'd lie to me, because I wouldn't lie to my friends. If someone lies to me without a reason I see valid, I usually get really upset, because I trust my friends wholeheartedly.

It was only after you had been doing your crazy ridiculous exaggerating and lying for a really long time that I started to suspect that some of the things you were saying were a little exaggerated or unreal - and I never even suspected the ones you told earlier on - and by earlier on I mean in the first year we were together, out of a year and nine months. But I still decided to ignore my suspicions and trust you anyway because I loved you and thought you'd never lie to me.
(By the way, you're really gross. I can't believe I only saw that after everything. You really are.)

Hello friends. You guys need to know that I trust you with all my heart and I'm a very gullible person because I don't doubt you guys, but you must never ever betray that trust.

I must be more careful about what I post

because although I think I have zero to two readers since that's the number of tags I get on average, I go to Nuffnang and see numbers like 91 and think, do I even know that many people?

The walls are whispering.

(30 is an all-time low......I think everyone's mugging. I shouldn't be here.)

Yesterday night I freaked out because I realised there were a considerably large number of pages of Econs notes I never knew existed. Well, the Karen who used to sleep in Econs lecture has been replaced by one who promises to be alert in every lesson. (I promise to get more than 3 hours' sleep per night.)
Ah, the great responsibility that comes with the power of being in Exco.

I heard your voice and I could've died smiling. I happened to be thinking of you at that very moment. But I wonder what you think of me.

I miss my white Topshop tank that's now grey... and my white sports bras that are now grey. LIKE OKAY, WHO WASHES WHITE CLOTHES WITH BLACK ONES?!!! At least it was just that once.

My maid speaks to me in Malay. I cannot take it anymore. It's not that she isn't nice, it's just.... I really. Do not. Understand Malay. Thank goodness my mum was a Malaysian - at least someone can translate everything to my maid.

(Key: ~ = Malay)
"~~~~~~~~~ Ma'am phone ~~~~~ mailbox ~~~~~?"
"Oh. *calls Mum on handphone*"
"~~~... Bread...no more"
"Oh okay. *waits for Mum to pick up*"
"...*hands phone to maid*"

Well at least she's trying to speak to me in English more. (Y)


Jun 27, 2010

No time to blog but I really want to blog this

Will elaborate another time when I'm free i.e. after exams, exco retreat and whatever comes after (Dance, OG outing) and Chinese oral maybe.

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." - Oscar Wilde

One more day to exams and

I just spent the past hour having a lot of fun with Google Translator. It's really good. I haven't started on revision yet.

This is why I need the library. Will be going with RACHEL later yay! Okay byebye this is drivel. Off to revise yayyy

Jun 26, 2010

Library = (Y)

Yesterday I went to the library with Hyun - "INFP? What does N stand for? Nerd?" - and today I met my primary schoolmate Puver!
He left at 5 because he had to buy his own birthday cake HAHAHAHA JOKE. Happy birthday in advance, friend!

Okay now I need a study buddy tomorrow! Sms me (if anyone isn't mugging hard enough not to see this)!

Jun 24, 2010

Four days to exams and...

Yesterday, I:
- Spent four hours doing nothing on the computer
- Chatted with Sumay on the phone
- Did Unit 3 of the GP vocabulary book
- Revised the most useless chapter in H1 Math
- Watched Glee from 7pm to 11pm (I'm not addicted. Really.)
- Spent an hour doodling words on the piece of paper meant for my Math workings and writing in my pretty diary - when I feel emotionally troubled, writing's the best way to assuage the hurt.

Strangle. Me. Now.

Today I went to school with Sarah - I had booked a consultation slot with Miss Jay because Hamlet's just too confusing - and it turned out she was trying to contact me to tell me she wouldn't be able to make it. Sarah and I found this super cool place on the fourth floor of Oldham wing. It's nice and windy and high up but the tables are dusty - they obviously aren't used much. And there's a perfect view of the Netball D - oh, the horrific memories of the time the Elects had spent there just two weeks ago. Check it out!

I just realised it's been going on for around a month. Considering that, I must say I'm doing a pretty good job with coping alone now.

Jun 23, 2010

I love my INFP


"infps are social retards, too. yes, they can blend into environments, but that doesn't stop them from, say, sitting cross legged on the floor in the middle of an executive seminar, taking off their shoes at the bookstore, or doing other things that let everyone else know that they dance to the beat of their own drummer (and other cliches). intps are social retards because they don't "get" social rules, and they don't want to participate in something that seems to be so...evil. infps are social retards because they give themself permission to be so." (Credits)

YES OMG. I hate 'social rules'. I mean, in the MRT if someone complains about being tired I'll tell her to sit on the floor (unless it's crowded or you'd obstruct people). I used to do it when I was in Crescent. A lot.
(Or maybe it's just a Crescent I-don't-care-what-people-think thing.)
And I still don't get why nobody will participate in my Tuck-In-Your-Shirt-All-The-Way-Like-A-Complete-Nerd day or Oh-Yeah-Oh-Yeah-Oh-Yeah-Hey day. See lah, my first two ideas as PR head have been rejected by everyone around me. I mean, it'd be fun, right? Why care so much about your image? No, it's not something I'd do on my own but with friends it'd be fun! Why does this make me a 'social retard'?

I mean, yes okay you'd look stupid if you did it alone but when you're with a friend or two I think it's fine. Riiiiiight?

GRR, conformity is gross.

But whatever. Anyway, INFPs are deep thinkers and idealists, see, so not airheaded. I read a few forum posts where people were saying INFPs are airheaded, but remember this?

"INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely."
I think a lot. I think that's why people like Amelia and Geraldine tell me I freak them out when I appear all fine and easy-going in real life but the me I present on my blog is a totally different one.

A ruined friendship?

I'm sorry. I can't help the way I feel. I should've known better than to do things this way. I should've known better. But you can't blame me for getting the wrong idea.
I just realised you're actually a pimp dressed in a cloak of innocence. Pimps suck, by the way. The pimps who seem like decent kids are even worse.

Now Karen, stay strong. There's a mountain of homework waiting and you can't afford to let your heart take over again.

I'd like to say this marks a new beginning but I know I'm too weak. Screw you, heartbreaker.

The theatre was magic... and the magic spread to everything else. It became a week of a dream, of magic, of fantasy, like those few days of my life had been pulled out of the dull orbit of reality and set flying high into another dimension. Well the magic started in the theatre...and that's where it ended.

Jun 22, 2010


Hey there Delilah what's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away but girl, tonight you look so pretty, yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl, someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good, we'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

I picture your desperate, tear-streaked face and your hands cupping my face making me promise we'd be together forever. Well that was a long time ago.

Gosh, I look back at my Livejournal entries - the F-word-filled, hateful posts - and I get scared of myself. The post-relationship me was an angry, angry one. It's a harsh reminder of the consequences of teen love.


Had a little chat with Sumay today. I spoke like a complete airhead because one thing I said didn't seem to link to the other - I'd talk about one situation and jump to another and it'd sound like I was just trying to tell her about every insignificant second of my life - but then I realised that's how we talk to each other when we're talking about our lives. To an outsider it'd seem like we're complete idiots who can't structure a speech properly but it's because insignificant as it seems, it matters. It's only when I'm talking to her that I express myself like that - all over the place, no links. Funny.
Gosh Sumay you have no idea how much I love you. Childhood friends FTW (L)

"Lady Gaga's music is the Panadol for my heart.
When I blast it loud, it blocks all my unhappy thoughts out, pushes them all to the little corner at the back of my mind. I know they're still there, and they try to come out of their little corner, but the beats of the dance songs flood my mind temporarily. Being blank is better than being emo, right? I can't listen to slow songs, or even worse, Chinese songs, because they'd kill me.

Then when I come home and switch on my computer, I read what you have to say, and I start crying all over again. All over again.

I don't want to do this. But I need strength. If I go back to you, it means I don't have the strength to do what I should do. If I go back to you, I'll just continue hurting you again and again and again and it'd be a cycle that'd never end. I don't want to keep hurting you anymore. I gotta stop being so selfish for once.

If I go back to you, I'll feel loved again." (12 July)

Jun 21, 2010

Here's how you say it: あいしてる

"Hey Karen, can you defy gravity?"

I know you know, hahaha it's funny isn't it? It's good to be friends.

It's weird to have someone you aren't close to in real life knowing a lot about you. And cool too. Hello Reu!
(But weird to know Reu knows more than you.)

Geraldine's fangirling is hilarious.

Okay that's it. This and my previous two blog entries are complete crap. Now pardon me while I go sit in a corner and emo and try to get my flair for blogging back.

The bride walks down just to start the wedding
And there's one more girl you won't be getting

Jun 20, 2010

My first kiss went a little like this

(Quoting Jollin)
Do you come here much? I gotta see your face again

Hey friend, what's up with you today? I feel bad... and confused. Please tell me. By the way, like how you said you missed my r***** self when I was feeling sick, I like your joker self.

Went crazy on the way home today. Blasted Justin Bieber's Baby through my headphones and I didn't care about whether the people around me could hear it. I must've looked like a ten-year-old rockstar wannabe. I really didn't care. It felt good.

And now my heart is breaking
but I just keep on saying
Baby, baby, baby ohh

Now I can type in にほんご!

Incredible love.

"Every time I'm at an airport I have strong feelings. If it's the Singapore airport, I'm usually very happy because I'm going to Korea. If it's the Korean airport, I'm always really sad because I have to leave. Now this feels so weird because I'm at the airport but I don't feel anything! Can we seriously just get tickets and go somewhere? Where can we go with... four dollars?"
- 현호

I remember stepping out of the airport in Miyazaki with the other Crescent Dancers in 2007. We were in our hideous school blazer and stockings and court shoes and I didn't know what to expect. The automatic doors slid open and we stepped out into the near-winter open... it was such a pleasant shock. The air that hit me was so fresh and chilly, only just cold enough to refresh me - it wasn't a biting cold, it was a nibbling, nipping fresh cold. Fresh fresh fresh, just a little chilly. It was so perfect.
Miyazaki (L)
My first encounter with snow was on the way to the Fukuoka airport on the last day of our trip. It wasn't much... but still quite cool.

Jun 19, 2010

Cell group testimonies

Love killed the man
whose open hands were nailed for me

Yes, God's doing His good work in me and it will only be finished when I arrive at Heaven's gates. God will give me strength. Humans falter but I will learn to rise up when I stumble.
In my weaknesses I am made strong.

No more moping. No more heartache, no more hoping. I shouldn't hope. Jason reminded us during cell group that relationships shouldn't even be considered if you know you're not mature and strong enough because the hurt that comes with the breakup is horrible. Jason knows. He was there when I cried in desperation and fear, when I wondered if I'd survive the Prelims and O Levels, when my ex threatened suicide. Jason (and Sumay) was there to strengthen me when I almost went back into the relationship because I couldn't stand the hurt. He reminded me to be strong, that I had to let go and never look back. It was a crazy time.

I remember breaking down in class. I remember being unable to listen to all the songs I had listened to in the previous two years, all the JJ songs and any other slow or Chinese ones. I remember drowning myself in fast emotionless dance tracks.

I remember praying profusely. I remember being angry at not being able to feel God at all. I remember lashing out angrily on my blog, doubting God's existence, knowing it was wrong but being too full of anger to care.

I will not let it all happen again. Dear God, strengthen my heart, help me control myself. Guide this confused girl, blind to the direction You want her to walk in, back on the road to eternity.

And you, thanks for giving me the chance to live a dream. I hope it's enough to carry me through JC life and give me hope. And thanks for not going any further too. You know, the day we were on the stage and you gave me that smile, I was forcing myself to ignore my shyness and smile back, but once I felt your hand on my face.ear.it was too much to bear and I really wanted to hold the gaze but couldn't because my heart was soaring. And then when you took your hand away I wanted to hold it - just give it a little squeeze since it was still somewhere near my shoulder - but was too afraid. And although I spent some time after that regretting the things I didn't do, I'm happy for that now. Maybe if I had, things might have gone a little further... or fallen back altogether, which would result in a lot of sadness. Either way would result in tragedy. As I had said before, uncertainty's the best stage to be in.

I just wanted to let that all out and put it all behind me. From now on, I am a new person.

Jun 18, 2010

Mark my words.


"I got out of my one-year-nine-month long relationship last year. I spent a lot of time crying and brooding and feeling so empty. The day of our E math O's paper was our supposed 2 year anniversary. I cried that morning. Can you imagine how bad it'd be if it had affected my performance? And until now the feeling of needing love hasn't left me and it's irritating because I know I don't wanna be in a relationship, it'll screw my life."

Thanks Reu, for allowing me to strengthen myself. I will stay strong. I won't fall prey.

Jun 17, 2010

Just like me, they long to be close to you

Karen Ho feels a little discouraged by the lack of taggers and constantly checks back on Nuffnang to reassure herself that there still are people who come to her blog. But aiyah okay lah ultimately my blog's for myself. It's my life, I need to blog, it's my diary.

60+ to 80+ readers doesn't sound like much, but I think it'd take me a very long time to be able to think of 60 people I'm friends with. Thanks for the love guys (L)

Council dinner without Alex :( I feel like such a pig now. Burger at Burger Shack followed by a mud pie at Island Creamery (my first time eating there). I'm going to gain 5kg by the end of the holidays. ):

By the way, I'm straight. Very very straight. Just saying.

Jun 16, 2010

I feel like asking you directly right now.

I know there was something back then. I'm pretty sure you felt it too, I'm pretty sure it wasn't just an illusion on my part. So what now? Has everything disappeared already? Just like that?

But no, I must be contented. I must remind myself that even back then I knew I was just living a dream. At least I got to experience that, even if it was just for a few hours, just for a day, for a few days. It's better than nothing. Maybe that's what's best too. I must be contented and stop hoping for more. Maybe it's good to end it there. I must quit thinking about the loneliness now. I've got the memories of that little dream I lived to carry me through, to give me strength.

And I will sing PRaise

Congrats to the new Council Exco, I think it's going to be great. It's a long, long journey ahead for all of us but I believe we'll pull through.

I'll need to be much more outspoken. Help me please, people. Sometimes I find socializing very tiring. I find it exhausting to laugh and talk with a group of people enthusiastically. I guess that's what they mean by introversion; I get my energy from myself, I need a lot of space and time to my own thoughts. Well, I've got to do something about it. No more INFP. I'm going to be an E.

I told the rest of the Elects that if/when things get too busy, I'm willing to give up Dance (and Editorial if I really really have to) for Council even though I love Dance to bits and I really want to perform. And I'll stand by that. Sebastian once told me that I'd be of much more use in Council than in Dance, and I agree with that. I don't do much in Dance and I know I don't dance well. I might as well go somewhere else where I'm of more use.

And I know God will give me and the other Exco members - and the rest of the Councillors - what we need to perform our roles well and for the 35th Students' Council to be an awesome one. The school hasn't seen the best yet; the best is yet to be.

Jun 15, 2010


It's done it for me before and it's done it once again. It's almost as accurate as the MBTI profiling. Really.

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

Rejection is what you fear the most and it is this fear that makes you unapproachable. You are looking for acknowledgement and above all looking for people who can appreciate you for who and what you are.

At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

She loved and lost and went around seeking and I know how she felt and she thinks she's found someone now but as sparks flew she realised he might have another girl and love's such an addiction and I wonder if you knew how much I longed to reach out and hold your hand and she can't stop talking about him and ultimately we're all the same our hearts are like a big stone wall with a huge hole in the middle and we're looking for something anything to fill it up and cement would be good but it's too unrealistic a goal to reach for so we settle for sponge and playing blocks and whatever will fill the hole temporarily but we know it won't work in the long run but it doesn't matter as long as it keeps the wall from crumbling for now

Friends and kids

After the Exco interview..

And then it was KidsREAD! It was Hyun's first session so we sabo-ed him into reading the story aloud to the kids with Laura. (I did Mr Greedy some time back, and Jasmine acted out the story. Since then Mr Greedy has become her kids-given nickname.)

I survived the hour.

WL: No matter what the results are, we'll still remain friends right?
Everyone else: What kind of question is that?!

This will never, ever, ever ruin our friendship. No competition, no hard feelings. We're all working towards a common goal anyway.

If only the world shared my views.

Jun 14, 2010

L-O-V-E's just another word I never learned to pronounce

Our Dance Post-Production Party, which was also a farewell party for the J2s.

Awesome fun.

Urgh, I wish I could read your thoughts. Tell me what you want, don't leave me hanging guessing.

(The word 'hang' sends shivers down my spine thanks to C. Camp.)

Hey pals, suggestions please!

Um, click for larger image (:

I think I used to be somewhat better-looking. Still not pretty, but... less not-pretty.

I think it's the hair... I hope it's just the hair. Sigh. It will grow. It will grow. It will grow.

*hates ugly self*

I'm an INFP. Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving

For the Feeling vs Thinking part of my INFP, out of all the questions, only one I ticked was for Thinking; everything else was for Feeling. I always rely on feelings, I just can't do something if I don't feel like it. (*glances at Math notes behind my laptop*) If I feel like doing something at that point in time, I have to do it before I can push the thoughts away. And when I'm really into a piece of work or a project, I'll get really irritated if I have to stop before it's done.

"INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic."
Very true. (Not the talented writer part lah, everything after.) I can't imagine myself in a job where I'm not writing or interacting with people. My future career must be feelings-oriented. (Teaching counts because it's interacting and requires passion/emotions.) If I'm dealing with facts and not with emotions or people, I'll turn mental.

"When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet."

This is too true. I'm very detailed when it comes to certain things and remember some things with intricate detail (although they may be altered by my own feelings with time) but, like, I don't even remember what my bedsheet looks like, or the colour of my bedroom curtains.

INFP Weaknesses:
May tend to be shy and reserved
Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
May react very emotionally to stressful situation
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders

"With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation."

"INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything."
My good friends will know this. Amelia once said I was too naive because I refused to listen to the bad things about others. I usually don't see anything bad in people either, unless that person violates a value of mine.

"INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings."
Yes, actually, but of course I express almost everything on my blog. Writing. Yes. I'm pretty reserved in real life, but because I'm such a feeler, everything that's bottled up is magnified a thousand times and I end up becoming very reserved and emo, being unable to push my feelings away before I release everything on paper / my blog.

Anyway, about my Feeling side. I always let my feelings guide me. I think that's my downfall. I need to learn to discipline myself and do things at the right time, not just because I want to do it. I need to learn to restrain myself, to hold myself back and remind myself that there's something that needs to be done and that doing what I'd like to do instead will result in unfinished necessary work. I learnt that while observing you. You're able to pull back from doing what you'd prefer to do, to turn to what you need to do instead. It's a level of discipline I can't seem to achieve. You seem to be able to switch off your feeling side. I do what needs to be done, of course - when it concerns other people and not myself (i.e. some project), because I would want to do it (and because it's usually something un-boring. I mean, who wouldn't rather work on a Council adhoc than revise Math? That's why when I have a list of things to do, I have to do what I like first. If not, it'll be weighing on my mind the entire time I'm doing the other things and I'll end up getting nothing done.

I'm also pretty perfectionistic, so I spend a lot of time on things (like Wesley's birthday present / my Vday gifts that resulted in me only getting half an hour's sleep). That makes the things I do seem pretty exhausting so it takes me a lot of effort to do something small.

I don't know where this is going. My brother wants to use the computer. I'll try to work on Math. Bye.


Check it out!
Woah woah woah (I had NONE before camp)

"Knock-it-down"-and-Netball-D-phobia's what I'd call it. Well, the Elects emerged strongly bonded.

It was a life-changing four days.

Jun 7, 2010

Kanchiong Karen needs to chill

"They seriously need to calm down lah!... I don't know how they can make friends you know"

I hope I didn't get the wrong idea.
And I hope you didn't get the right one.

Okay pals, tomorrow's the day. Don't anybody even dare SMS me to complain that I won't be blogging for four days. You've no idea what I'm going to be put through. (I won't be able to use my phone at camp anyway) To cheer myself up I got myself a pair of Hello Kitty undies. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M SERIOUS
Ming Tow and I met at Starbucks to revise our knots before doomsday tomorrow. He's a noob.

All the best to us. I'm gonna get abs by the end of Council Camp.

Hi friends, I'm single (unless you count JJ as my boyfriend) and not looking. At this age, singlehood is best. I know everyone agrees with me.

Jun 6, 2010


By the way, Shuzhen looks awesome in the Bailamos photos taken by the Photog Soc guy. On behalf of AC Dance, thanks LOADS Nguyen Tuan Anh!!!

TWO PEOPLE CAME TO MY BLOG BECAUSE THEY GOOGLED "You Hyun Ho ACJC" HAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE!?!?!?! But my blog doesn't even have his full name. Just look at this.

HAHAHAHAHA. Somebody's popular eh! Two people came to my blog because they googled Timothy Ho ACJC today too! HAHAHA SIALAH

Just something random I discovered!

Watching a documentary about young Singaporean kids going to China to immerse themselves in the language and culture to learn Chinese.

"What do you want to do when you grow up?"
"I want to be a doctor. You?"
"I want to go to university."

I think I'll try defying gravity

What's pulling me down? Doubt, suspicion, excessive paranoid reasoning. Maybe I should take a step back and learn to breathe, to live and let die. Maybe I shouldn't worry about what will work or not. What matters is that we're living the moment. Let my dreams fly with song and colour, let nothing hold them back. Defy gravity. And when I came falling back to the ground, at least I know I've lived.

How do you measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee -
How about love?

The lights, the atmosphere and that smile, that smile, I can't forget it - it was a dream. It was a dream that came to life. That smile - and then, in my ecstasy, I didn't know what to do -

Bring it back, bring it back


Somehow I don't feel like writing much about it but the first half of Friday's concert was pretty horrible; during the intermission us Dancers got shouted at for our horrid performance and it got better during the second half of the show.

For our J1 item Chaos on the Streets we were somehow short of Geraldine's pair of grey sweatpants so she and I decided to share my pair - after her part of the dance was done, she'd go backstage and hand it to me and I'd hurriedly put it on and go out for my part. When she passed it to me, the ball bearing for the drawstring at the pant leg came out so we started panicking and when I went on stage I could feel my knot coming loose, so I had to be really careful while dancing. I didn't give it my best. It was just 1.5 minutes I had on stage and I didn't give it my best. I was quite upset about that. (AND I FORGOT TO UNTUCK MY SHIRT IN MY HASTE SO I WENT ON STAGE LOOKING LIKE A HIP-HOP NOOB)

Saturday's performance was much better. We learnt from our mistake of not psyching ourselves up before the concert and not settling down to remember all the pointers to be taken note of, so we did all we could on Saturday and gave it our best. I was panting even when I reached the dressing room. It felt good.

The Dance practices were awesome and Theatre Week was an amazing experience. It was quite a lot of slacking for me since I was only in one dance, but getting a feel of the stage was cool.

All the letter-writing...

watching guys sew and helping Isaac Hyun sew his thing (while he sat beside me and watched)...
I get a kick out of watching guys sew.

slacking with Hyun at the theatre while we watched other Dancers practice on the stage...
helping my buddy Kat with her quick changes (and Amelia too)...
turning away when Amelia and Sebastian were hugging on stage almost throughout the 20 minutes they were given on Concert day to listen to the music and get into the mood.. HAHAHA

It was fun. I'll miss it all and I've got pictures to remind me of everything. It was an awesome time. And oops I haven't done any homework at all but who cares?

Random memories:
Hyun didn't know how to use my BB cream and I was away helping Amelia so he ended up looking like a disaster. Joan was awesome enough to help him try to salvage it with her hands.
Yohanes, the funny guy I became friends with through the Dance concert.
After this picture was taken Isaac pushed Joash's face to Doug's HAHAHA EPIC
'Siblings' Pauline and Fang Jiunn camping at my place yay!