Feb 25, 2009

Hear me roar

I cannot BELIEVE they put Cui Xiao and I on the different opposite ends of the classroom. 
I will miss the stupid stuff she says that can make me laugh until I cry. Hahaha.
And oh I'll miss her super delicious little orange ball snack thing. LOVE LOVE LOVE I'm super addicted to it. To separate me from Cui Xiao('s orange snack thing) is like torturing me k.

I mean, Xin Shyan is a nice partner, of course! I'll just miss sitting beside that awesome Xiao.

Mdm Lim was pissed because she didn't understand why Cui Xiao and I had to stick to each other all the time. Last year we were sitting beside each other before she separated us also. Butbutbut what's so bad about two friends liking to be with each other all the time? :/

I shall post pictures of Xiaoxiao. (I only have pictures from last year! Excluding the one of Xiao's tiny mandarin orange. She actually peeled and ate it in class HAHAHAHAHAHA)
<- I love this pic k. We were doing decorations for CNY I think, and I wanted to do something with the extra paper.  We love bullying JT hahaha 
<- The day you took out all your keyboard keys to clean them!

You know, Xiao, I was looking through all our pictures and some made me laugh like crazy. Maybe only I would get it because I know all your typical stares and the stupid things you like to do and I can imagine what you were saying/how you were laughing your crazy laugh when I took that picture. 

(I have so many more pictures of my crazy ex-partner. Xiao, maybe I'll do up a collage on your birthday. HAHAHA)

Btw, when I was looking for pictures of you to upload, I came across a video I took in the library. Remember there was this time Jt wanted to sleeper hole you? (Press some points at your neck to cut off oxygen supply temporarily and make you faint) Then you were like "Ooh okay okay" then Jt got ready, then when she put her arm around your neck you looked very quiet and serious and then after a long while you were like "... -.-" and Jt realised she must've been doing something wrongly because it wasn't working then you  and got irritated and laughed. HAHAHAHAHA SO CUTE


Ok Sperm, here are the pictures. So sorry I totally forgot about them. :P


My fave character is the one with the big hair, the one who couldn't do the stupid squatting-down-and-doing-weird-hand-actions exercise, the one who kept getting beaten by the officer during the morning exercise haha. Goshhhhh he's super hilarious!
Oh and the two beatboxers are THE ULTIMATE PROS K. One of them was the champion of some international beatboxing competition?!?! LIKE GOODNESS HE WAS BBOXING LIKE A MACHINE GUN CAN SERIOUSLY!!!! 

And I LOVE the part where when that guy got that injection then suddenly the "All I want / Is all that you've given meeeee~~~~~" music started playing and one of the nurses started doing this gross dance and got the guy all horny and everything, then everytime someone took the injection that stupid "All I want is all that you've given meeeee" song would play and some sexy nurse would come out, then there was this one time when the song was playing, the woman was doing some... weird action and was like, going into the curtains, then suddenly the music stopped playing then everyone was like o.o then she panicked and screamed: "ALL I WANT..."  Hahahahahaha super cute.

Whee and Xiuxian and JoYYYYYcelyn (Sec 2) watched it too haha, both of them like the SWAT guy.

Who else watched Breakout? :D

I haven't cried this much in a long time.

Today, J4M will be having their first Very Singers' Training Course lesson.
It's their orientation today.

Well, J4M minus one, anyway.


Here my dream is, right in front of me, and I'm throwing it away because of school.
Fei Chang Ge Shou comes only once in two years, and in two years' time my dad says I probably won't be able to join either, because it's my A LEVEL year.
Well even if my dad allows me to join the next round, what are my chances of making it in? I won't be joining as part of an acapella group anymore, because all of them would be already in the course because they're joining this round! I'll have to join as a SOLO! And that'll be much harder, obviously. And I probably wouldn't be able to make it in.

Sec 4 life's so stressful. So much to do and no time at all. Look, I've got this terrible cold and I had to sit for the SS test, and I only managed to answer 2 questions. And I've this huge mountain of homework to do and there's no freaking time because you know, we've dance till 6.30 and then tomorrow there's Chinese writing test/mock test, and then we have all these remedials, they can't expect us not to be able to attend all the remedials and finish all our homework and still have time to study and still be able to get ENOUGH SLEEP can they?!?!

See, my parents were both in Acapella groups once. Yeah they used to be performers. And my mother was the backup singer of this singer called Barry Manilow, apparently very famous or whatever. Then they gave up their musical careers to ... become a teacher, and a manager. And now my dad complains so much about not having enough sleep and having too many papers to mark and having a lot of troublesome students, and then my mother keeps complaining about irritating bosses/colleagues. Was it worth giving up their dreams for a disgusting job they didn't like?

Look at people like JJ, and Xueling laoshi, and Sendy laoshi, and song composers/lyrics writers, all these other people who're earning A LOT of money in the music industry. Their paper qualifications have pretty much gone to waste! And they're very successful in what they're doing!

Got qualifications so what! My ambition has nothing to do with what I'm learning. So I'm learning useless stuff to get a good grade so that I can torture myself with study even more and then go to university and study EVEN MORE so that I can get enough qualifications to be able to become some office worker or manager or whatever when I DON'T EVEN WANT TO DO ANY OF THOSE?!


Feb 24, 2009


...Orientation was cancelled because Billy Koh had dirrohea. I might post the post up again when the orientation starts if I still feel the same way.

Feb 20, 2009

20 Feb - Emerge @ City Harvest


Well, I didn't break down today, for one. I'm beginning to be stronger already I think? Not as affected by the issues that used to make me cry out of insecurity and confusion everytime there was a CHC event/meeting anymore.Well, I don't know what it means. That's one way of looking at it. The other way would be that God doesn't touch me as much as He used to. CHOY CHOY CHOY CHOY CHOY! I really hope that's not the case. And I'm trying much harder now, I'm growing now I think, I reflect on my Christian life much more than I used to before also.

K anyway. Had SS remedial till 5.30, SHIQI AND JOLYNN WERE 2/3 OF THE TUTORS! WOW WOW WOW I MISS MY DANCE SENIORS! *squeals* K, and I didn't think I'd make it to CHC but I did! Met Jt, then Janice and Grace at Boon Lay at around 6.45?

Today we were supposed to go in our school uniforms and Willie suggested for us to wear ties too. I took a candid shot of Willie in his uniform! Kinda weird seeing him in uniform. Saunders too. He wore specs today haha very geekily cute and quite different from what he usually looked like without specs (although I think people were thinking the same about me and my specs), I wish I'd taken a photo.

And the most amazing thing happened! Will elaborate about my previous invitation-to-CHC post later. GERALDINE NG from Dance (Sec 2) happened to be sitting only 2 seats away from me! So later Jason changed seat and I switched places with Jt and took the seat beside her. (: Our convo was EXTREMELY embarrassing, forgive me Geraldine!
Me: You're Rui Ying, right?
G: No, Rui Ying migrated to Australia! (!!!!!)
Me: o.o ... You're not the sec 1, right? (because a Sec One told me she's in CHC too)
G: NO?!! D:
Me: *desperate* What's your name?
G: Geraldine.
Me: *covers face in humiliation*

GUESS WHAT XUELING LAOSHI LED THE FIRST TWO SONGS WOOHOOO! It was great and everything, I felt enthu! Previously, I took time to get used to the "enthu" atmosphere and needed time to "warm up" and everything, but this time I immediately got ready for praise!

The slow songs were great too. Everything felt good I guess. And when the people started to pray in tongues, I didn't get confused or irritated or upset, instead I did something I was proud to do - pray for them and thank God that they were close to Him. And I knew we all have our own way of worshipping Him, and no matter what He can hear our prayers, so it doesn't really matter if you aren't doing what everyone else does! We all have our unique way of praying, and He touches us in lots of different ways too.

There's this CHC cheerleading team thing, I thought they were cool and their stunts were great, but.. children of God shouldn't dress like that! Especially in God's house of worship! D:
And there was this very cute skit put up by the drama team. The "mother"'s dressing looked a lot like Mrs Eugenia Lim's. :D (Geraldine thought so too)

Pastor Zhuang's preaching was.. well, I felt a little awkward listening to this sitting beside a junior, but well the stuff he said was very relevant to me. And they were stuff I'd been confused over for quite a long time. And well today I've decided! I will change myself for God. And I will try my very best. I don't want it to just become another empty, forgotten promise. This is a promise I'm making to God; I will try my very best. (Not stating my resolution here.) But I need His help, of course. Without His help it'd be impossible.

I'm pretty glad that today I was all ready for worship. Even more glad that I wasn't so affected by what used to affect me a lot too. Oh and I witnessed slaying again, but this time it was far away from me, at the bottom of the stage where Pastor Zhuang told all the Student ICs or something like that to gather. I saw it from the screen, him laying his hands on the people one by one, and everyone falling. Well I'm sorry but the dead flies expression still stands for me. I know it's slaying lah! But still.
And I didn't feel that affected really. It scared me a bit, but I felt very different from how I felt during the prayer meeting. I prayed and I thanked God that these people were close to Him. And I knew that well, I wasn't close to him yet but my time would come one day. I know that my longing for him would be satisfied one day, that He knows I want badly to be closer to Him.

Now, I'm not really very worked up over the I-want-to-be-as-close-to-God-too thing, the thing that got me very confused and angry and upset all the time. Because we all have a future in Christ mapped out for us already, if we are ready to accept that future when it comes, that is.And.. I feel myself growing in God, bit by bit. I take more time than some others, but so what? Sometimes, faith grows in doubt, God comes to you when you're weak. And my trust & faith in him is growing slowly, but surely. And well, I know that one day I'll be very close to God. And it doesn't mean that just because you can speak in tongues/praise loudly you're close to God! It's so much more than that. And I want to concentrate on the "more than that" aspects more. That's what matters more anyway! Compare a prostitute who can speak in tongues and worships God with fire when she's in church but doesn't think about her christian life at all outside of church, with a normal schoolgirl who doesn't have spiritual gifts and is conservative about her faith but is devoted to the Commandments and fulfilling His word. Which do you think God would be happier with?

And well, nobody said they could go with me, but yesterday night I was thinking about it and praying that, well, I didn't really know if it'd be a good idea to bring a friend along because I might feel very awkward when singing and stuff, and so I told God to make the desicion, and I wouldn't pray for people to come to me but neither would I pray that nobody would come (obviously). Your will be done, not mine! And I think it was good that nobody went with me. I would have felt very awkward.

So, everything's cool. (:


P.S. Geraldine and I are thinking of starting a tiny Crescent-CHC group for people who are both in CGS and CHC. Motivated by what Pastor Zhuang said! We would start out small but we'd be a powerful small group, and we WILL grow (:

Feb 19, 2009

I wanted to ask everyone in Dance but I forgot

but I can't put it on the Dance MLG because it's not related to Dance at all, it's a personal thing, so here goes:

To everyone who happens to be reading this (I've decided, not just Dancers, EVERYONE! :D)

Okay, tomorrow's EMERGE!!! :D (I asked the Sec Ones "Do you know what Emerge is?" then a few gave a blur look and started doing this swimming/opening the door motion and said "coming out..?")

K, Emerge is this little youth concert thing at City Harvest Church (at Jurong West). (: That's all! Tomorrow (Friday 20 Feb), about 7 plus to 9.30 (but I have to leave at 9).

And and I feel this strange strong want to invite everybody to go! God's helping me help Him, (:
Anyone! Strangers, homos, ah lians, Christians, and ESPECIALLY Christians who've backslided and don't feel much for God anymore, and NON-CHRISTIANS! Oh and I feel very compelled to invite DANCE JUNIORS especially. :D

Yup. Anyone! So if you, dear reader of my (wonderful :D) blog, are free tomorrow and don't have much to do, PLEASE COME! :D

You don't know how to get there/ don't want to go alone? NO PROBLEM! Leave a tag on my blog or SMS me at 81586551. :D I end school at 5.30pm tomorrow, so we can meet after that then I'll bring you to my house or something (because I want to bathe first) then we'll go together! WOW YOU GET TO GO TO KAREN'S HOUSE HAHA HOW COOL IS THAT :O HAHAHAHA

I'll be going with my cell group friends and J4M (minus Maddie because she's got Dance class at OB) tomorrow too but it's okay I'm a nice person and I won't neglect you :D Please please come, anyone! I'm a nice person! If you're afraid I can hold your hand throughout the whole thing. Just come! :D :D

Wow okay I sound like I'm advertising. I don't know what's making me so enthusiastic about this all of a sudden! I just.. feel like inviting people. Anyone! I want to help people. God's working through me!

Must've been the fasting. Thank you God, for noticing me! And I hope I'll be able to be a useful servant to You.

iie lurbbex maii frwenx (:

 - A bunch of 26 roses from Baby <333
 From Baby again! You know, this musical thing? You turn the handle and the cylinder thing rotates and the little circular projections on the cylinder hit against the rectangular thingies and play a musical-box-sounding tuuuunnne. :D This one was custom-made so it cost a lot! Baby said he wanted to put Bella's Lullaby but it was too long to fit into the circular thing, then he wanted to put the song he wrote for me but it was too long too, so he just put You Are My Sunshine, because it was the song I'd play everytime he was feeling emo/crying. (:

 - From Jt, ZOMGOODNESS SUPER CUTE CAN!!!!! SUPER CUTE ! And I love the "I'm Yours" heart. Immediately made me think of the cute Jason Mraz song.

From Jan! LUBCHEWX DARLINK! The only rose I got that didn't die out uh. XD

From Mad! My mum thought the flower was real. AND LOVE THE BOWTIES!

Short update


2) I MEANT TO GET TWO BLACK EYELINERS, AND I GOT TWO BROWNS INSTEAD. -.- Does anyone want one brown eyeliner? Sasa, U.P. $10.90 but now there's a sale so it's 2 for $10.90. Selling one brown one at $5 (50 cents off haha), it's still brand new in packaging. Shuzhen pending.

Feb 17, 2009




Feb 16, 2009

14 Feb: JJ events!

1st thing I have to say:

I'm the pro huh. Will elaborate later.

1st event: JJ @ Northpoint
He was going to sign this postcard thingy we redeemed at the counter with our JJ concert ticket. I thought it started at 12.30, I went to queue at 10, there were a lot of JJFC members already.
Jt and I started making the card we were going to give JJ at Jurong Point later (we couldn't finish it in time), it was really hard to make because the space we had was very little and everything. And people were staring. *glares back*
Kk the thing rocked. Northpoint was PACKED and there were huge crowds watching from the 2nd, 3rd AND 4th floor muahaha.
Huge crowd (about 1 hour before the thing started)

Oh and Jason came for a little while but left before it started because he had to bring By2 to church haha. He gave us roses from the CG!
<- Jacey ;D Blur Willie :D

Yes so our JJ came (a little late), sang Wo Hai Xiang Ta and imitated A-Do, not just his singing but the way he talked also, very cute hahahaha.The event was for signing some postcard that we redeemed there with our concert ticket/three boxes of Storm sweets.(:

Oh yes yes I love this part, READ THIS!
So like, because we got into the OB's Singer course right? And JJ was the judge for the first round of the auditions and he talked about us in the interview (ANDD HE SAID WE LEFT HIM THE GREATEST IMPRESSION AND WE WERE THE ONLY CONTESTANTS HE GAVE AN A TO? :D), so yeah he remembers us (also because we always remind him everytime we see him), so when we went up to autograph our postcards Jan had this SUPER SMART last-minute idea of putting all our postcards together so he'd have to autograph them all at once and we wouldn't have to leave after each of our postcards had been autographed, but we could stay there until all four of our postcards had been autographed. :D

So we gave JJ the four postcards at once, then he smiled at us and went "Nice combi" (we were wearing Smudge tees), then we were like :D THEN THEN
Janice: *slams hand against table* JJ, J4M got into Fei Chang Ge Shou! (the singer's course lah)
JJ: Of course! (:
Us: *:O*
JJ: You have to! :D
Us: *totally speechless*

Yes yes so we were speechless for a while then he shook hands with all of us and wished us a Happy Vday and I said "SEE YOU AT JURONG POINT" and he grinned and we started squealing like idiots when we left the stage. :D

And then we cabbed to Jurong Point to queue for JJ again. It was so packed we couldn't sit AT ALL at Jurong Point, and we had to finish that card, and we couldn't do it sitting down so we had to paste and write the stuff STANDING UP and using one another's backs as tables to write the stuff. We rock man, I was so proud of what we had achieved because it WAS NOT EASY to do the stuff standing up okay! And we were holding a lot of things and there really wasn't space to move, when I bent down to get a marker or double sided tape I'd be jutting my ass into other people.
SAY IT'S NICE! It looks like we're holding the card up to heaven or something hahaha. There wasn't space to take a picture of the card standing up because it was too crowded so I had to squat down and hold the camera upwards and Jt held the card up high facing downwards. WE ROCK I TELL YOU WE ROCK!!!

I wasn't exaggerating. It was really super packed. Couldn't move.

Singing Wo Hai Xiang Ta! (again)

Guilians (what we do best):
Gay JT!--><--Hahaha Ok this Jurong Point event was for him to autograph our CONCERT TICKETS. So then we gave JJ the big card when we were giving him our tickets to autograph (again, we gave them all together :D), and he went "Wow!" then he looked at it for some time then he went "Congrats orh!" (because I wrote "J4M GOT INTO FEI CHANG GE SHOU!!!" really big) :D :D :D Then Jt went "JJ, on Thursday you went shopping with our vocal teacher, Xueling Laoshi?" (YES OH MY GOODNESS LAOSHI WENT SHOPPING WITH JJ), then he smiled and went "We're all good friends. :D" then Jt went "Next time you must ask us along also!" then JJ didn't know what to say. XD

OK, here's the part where I lose my concert ticket.
So after the tickets were autographed we went to the toilet. And I didn't want to put the ticket in my bag, I was afraid the ink would smudge (because he just autographed it), so I held it in my hand. Then I left it in the toilet. Then when I realised I rushed back and the four of us looked all over for it but couldn't find it.
Yup, as simple as that.

Then I screamed to Ivy, then I realised that there's a way I can still get Sistic to replace my seat or something like that. YEAH! I'LL BE PRAYING LIKE MAD FOR MY SEAT. $151 LEH! I don't mind not getting the autographed ticket. I JUST WANT MY SEAT BACK!!

Yeah we went mad and later on the four of us went to take a picture on the stage. JJ looks like he's trying to blow on Janice's skirt so it'd fly HAHAHAHAHA HORNY JJ.

Yay so that was how I spent my great Valentine's Day.
THERE MADDIE, GO GRAB YOUR PICTURES HAHAHA. If you want ALL the pictures and in the original size (I have a thousand more pictures) I can send them to you in MSN if you want. Or pass me a thumbdrive (:

Feb 13, 2009

No wonder they say Friday the 13th's an unlucky day


Feeling pissed today.

Chinese dance prac was fun (:

I regret staying up late to do my Valentine's Day gifts for people who didn't appreciate it.

Feb 12, 2009


I officially have a terrible impression of Miley Cyrus.
Didn't mind her until today.

Her on screen:

The real her:

(The first pic was apparently taken when she was 15 for her boyfriend)
My goodness I saw the link to a vid of her stripping (apparently).
Well I guess it's just that Asians are much more conservative than Americans lah. But still!

Idk lah. I mean all stars have their own life just like us, they're really just like normal people. BUT THAT'S THE IRRTATING PART!! She freaking earns a 7-figure sum thanks to digital editing and a loud voice.
And she's racist and scandalous! D:

Ok. Her first picture reminds me of a Bugis Street ah lian with a disgusting Friendster page full of "iie a h0rt babbex worrh..." etc. trying to get people to see her sexy/nude pics so that she'd be popular. Like, you know, that Chinese argumentative essay we did.
(Btw, nude pictures is how Shu Qi got popular too. But she's really pretty luh)

Feb 11, 2009

The best comments I've heard so far about the singers' training course

Dad: "Aiyah as long as you're not tone deaf they'll let you in one lah"

Jessie: "Wah lao who's the judge! He never dig his ears properly is it! I help him dig lah! You guys suck can!"

Cuixiao: -ignores me-
Thanks peeps. I feel so encouraged! *grin*

"Successful people are not born that way. They empower themselves to create their own reality and are aware that the only limitations on their accomplishments are those imposed by themselves."

Fyi Suah I do not think J4M's good at singing, nor do I think we're going to become a future group thing.
We're just a bunch of normal kids who're good friends who have a huge fairytale dream to work towards. Just like any other sucky studio-in-the-garage tone-deaf band.
And well we're so young, we have about 60-70 years more on Earth, and that's how long we'll continue to work towards our goal, what we love doing the most.
After all, the one thing that's worse than having an unattainable impossible dream is having no goal at all (:

I told my mum I need to get a pair of heels by friday night because Saturday's the JJ thing, and from past experiences of having to use my camera to help me see by holding it up high and watching from my camera screen because everyone's heads were blocking my view, I've learnt my lesson. I need to be taller to actually be able to see him. Just in case I'm not in the front row.

I spent all my allowance on Vday stuff


:D :D :D

Well I know I can't join it lah, because of O's and everything. I guess I'll wait until I'm 19 before I try again (because the course is only a once-every-four-years thing). But well, it's nice to know that you're capable of getting in right? (: Not that we sing very well, duh(in fact more like the opposite, except Jan of course), but it's nice to know that at the very least, we don't all go terribly off-key etc. when we sing together.

And Janice doesn't know if she's going to join or not. Maddie and Jt should be able to join, but then we wouldn't be a group. Here's the dilemma:

If Mad and Jt Join:
Pro: They'll be able to strengthen their vocals through the intensive training, and so their voices will be stronger and more stable, and that would benefit the whole of J4M! And they can share what they learnt with Jan and me.
Con: We won't be a group anymore, we probably wouldn't be able to do stuff as a group anymore, and we're inseperable okay!

Maybe we should discuss with Xueling laoshi and together on Fri?
Anyway, YAY J4M (:

Isn't it quite cool? If we join (or if I COULD join) the course, we'd be JJ's and By2's and Xinhui's and Ferlin's and XUELING LAOSHI's juniors! HAHAHA.

Janice has got great dreams for us. I don't really have great dreams for J4M, but I have great dreams for Janice. And she's capable of training her voice to be strong enough to be able to use singing as a career. I'm very confident of it. Girl you're only fifteen! And we all love your singing, you'll shine one day.
Oh and promise me something. When you become a da ming xing, I WANT TO BE YOUR MANAGER/PERSONAL ASSISTANT OKAY! Promise me promise me.

Feb 9, 2009

Friday at OB

New receptionist in Kailing's place, Chloe, and Jason was there (for Xueling Laoshi), and he told us that CHLOE'S ACTUALLY A CG LEADER IN MING JING'S ZONE TOO!

Just that they're too busy to come already. :/

Binkai is a fan of SNSD! HAHAHA

Feb 8, 2009

"What are you wearing man! You look like you just had sex!"

PE: We played this new thing called Hansoc.
The outcome amazed me, I guess. I had never been so enthusiastic in a PE game EVER.
Well usually I'm like, pretending to run, trying to find something to do etc, trying not to get in the way because I know I'll just bring the group down.
Oh and I'm terribly afraid of balls. Everytime someone passes me a ball, in Captain's ball or basketball or whatever, I'm supposed to catch the ball but I ALWAYS DODGE IT INSTEAD. And then it ends up in the opponent's hands. And then I end up hoping nobody will throw the ball to me.
But this time, man, I was genuinely enthusiastic about the game! I was running with everyone, running after and catching the balls, like WOAH. I was kind of impressed at myself actually. Of course I wasn't as enthu as Janeen and Janey and Jessie, but I was much more enthu than I ever was!

CG was okay. (: First CHC meeting/event I didn't cry in.
I bought a pair of skinnies online, I LOVE IT because it really does make my legs look very skinny, the problem is it can't fit at the waist area. -.- STUPID FAT ASS THAT'S ONE (OR MORE) SIZE(S) BIGGER THAN MY LEGS SOB SOB. I need to lose ass (and thigh) fats!!!
I feel very bad because my dad told me to meet him at Taka after CG then I thought we could go shopping so I brought J4M along then it turned out my dad just wanted to fetch me home from Taka so I had to pangseh J4M even though it was I who asked them out in the first place. >.<
I've got a few cute pictures from today, will post up (:

Feb 3, 2009

I haven't updated in ages

Sarah and Sumay, I refuse to upload the pictures onto Facebook. :P Get them here, I'll tell you guys when I post the pictures up!


Was replying Abigail's email about my CHC post and I realised something.

I really think God comes to me through people, maybe because I'm able to relate to people much better than something intangible/invisible like God. I seriously think so.. if he comes to some people this way too. I mean, everyone's different, everyone receives God differently too. And come on, He's capable of doing anything!

And if it's true, if He really does come to me through people, then I guess I'm very blessed, and if it's true, then I know He hasn't forgotten my existence. (:

How Jason spends his time and a lot of effort to talk to/counsel/help me, the Christmas card Xueling Laoshi gave me that said "You have great potential in your voice! Continue to believe in your dreams!", how Janice comforted me and prayed for me when I started freaking out before the Fei Chang Ge Shou auditions, how Xiao Xuan hugged me and prayed for me when I was trembling with trauma during the Prayer Meeting, how Jessie helps me out all the time and tells me when I do something I shouldn't, how Jessie's very concerned about my relationship with God and always tries to help me, how Jt always tries to help me grow closer in my faith by praying for me and telling me stuff the pastors talked about in service and encouraging me when I'm emo and buying that book for me (there girl! :D) even though she's only just started this religion, how all my friends help me when I feel like I'm alone and nearly want to give up on faith...

There are just so many people who've blessed my life and everytime someone does, I pray for that person to be blessed too, along with everyone else who helped me before, because I really believe God came to me through these person when He wanted to tell/show/teach me something, or help me when I'm down, because I guess I'm still not ready to relate to a God who I can't see or hear or feel.

Because of the CHC post, I've gotten closer to a lot of people who came to comfort me, through SMSes/emails/tags or face-to-face.. Dance juniors, people I was once good friends with, people I never really knew well, and even my primary school classmate... It's amazing, we're all so different, my friendship with you guys were beginning to fade, or I didn't even really know you guys well, but because of this incident I became closer to a few people, and I realise that there are more people who care for me than I think. I'm not close to many people, but now I realise there are people who care for me, and that really means a lot to me.

Thanks you guys, I really love you guys to the maxxxxxxxx, it may not seem so but every encouraging word you said gave me hope and made me feel really loved and blessed, and you guys (and what you said) really mean a lot to me.

Special thanks to Jason (who probably doesn't read my blog but yeah), because whenever I was in need of help you were there, because you prayed that I would be able to come for CG, because you helped me talk to my parents and everything, because you came to me and prayed for me during the Prayer Meeting, because it helped me calm down a little. Thanks for meeting up with me to talk about how I felt during the Prayer Meeting, because I think I really needed your help. Thank you for always reassuring me that I didn't have to worry about not being able to come for CG, thanks for assuring me that you would talk to my parents and everything.

You're my most unlikely confidant, but a great one too.
I don't know if things will change between us after this but I do miss you as a friend.
Thanks Amelia. (: