I haven't cried this much in a long time.

Today, J4M will be having their first Very Singers' Training Course lesson.
It's their orientation today.

Well, J4M minus one, anyway.

STUPID O'S.

Here my dream is, right in front of me, and I'm throwing it away because of school.
Fei Chang Ge Shou comes only once in two years, and in two years' time my dad says I probably won't be able to join either, because it's my A LEVEL year.
Well even if my dad allows me to join the next round, what are my chances of making it in? I won't be joining as part of an acapella group anymore, because all of them would be already in the course because they're joining this round! I'll have to join as a SOLO! And that'll be much harder, obviously. And I probably wouldn't be able to make it in.

Sec 4 life's so stressful. So much to do and no time at all. Look, I've got this terrible cold and I had to sit for the SS test, and I only managed to answer 2 questions. And I've this huge mountain of homework to do and there's no freaking time because you know, we've dance till 6.30 and then tomorrow there's Chinese writing test/mock test, and then we have all these remedials, they can't expect us not to be able to attend all the remedials and finish all our homework and still have time to study and still be able to get ENOUGH SLEEP can they?!?!

See, my parents were both in Acapella groups once. Yeah they used to be performers. And my mother was the backup singer of this singer called Barry Manilow, apparently very famous or whatever. Then they gave up their musical careers to ... become a teacher, and a manager. And now my dad complains so much about not having enough sleep and having too many papers to mark and having a lot of troublesome students, and then my mother keeps complaining about irritating bosses/colleagues. Was it worth giving up their dreams for a disgusting job they didn't like?

Look at people like JJ, and Xueling laoshi, and Sendy laoshi, and song composers/lyrics writers, all these other people who're earning A LOT of money in the music industry. Their paper qualifications have pretty much gone to waste! And they're very successful in what they're doing!

Got qualifications so what! My ambition has nothing to do with what I'm learning. So I'm learning useless stuff to get a good grade so that I can torture myself with study even more and then go to university and study EVEN MORE so that I can get enough qualifications to be able to become some office worker or manager or whatever when I DON'T EVEN WANT TO DO ANY OF THOSE?!


ARGH.
I WANT MY FEI CHANG GE SHOU.