Tag leh!

Hmmmmm, there were 52 unique visitors to my blog on Tuesday and THE LAST TAG I'VE RECEIVED WAS ON MONDAY!!!! Why like thaaaat, people ): Tag! I want to know who's reading heehee.

Joke of the century:
On a Facebook quiz I once said (rather sarcastically btw) that I had a tattoo of a red heart with a dagger pierced through it, on my left boob over where the heart's supposed to be.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YD ACTUALLY BELIEVED IT HAHAHAHAHAHA
"If I'm not wrong, you have a tattoo on your left boob ar?"
SHIZ that made me laugh like mad. Totally woke me up HAHAHA

It sucks to have subconscious expectations of somebody, of a friend, because those expectations usually go unmet.
GRR


Why won't you admit it? Am I that bad? Is being my friend that humiliating?


Shyan wants to take unglam photos of me as a form of revenge, because I keep taking unglam photos of her (and the rest of the class. Not intentionally! Shyan, maybe you're just unglam all the time hahaha)
So I let her take a really stupid picture of me. She's posting it on Facebook.
"Think of an alliteration! Something Karen"
"Kissable Karen"
"IN YOUR DREAMS!"

Mrs Rupa: Uh...Kinky!

That's it, I'm changing my blogskin.

This is to a certain someone, because I know she won't read it. I really don't mean to be mean, but..

HAHAHA you make me laugh. I remember how you used to be so immature and mean to your friends, just like that someone I knew in kindergarten (and was stupid enough to befriend. Maybe I'll talk about her some other time, too)
I find it stupid now, really, how people are still getting into relationships now. You're just asking to be hurt, seriously. And that guy is really ah beng. GAAHAHAHA

And I don't deny the fact that you really are pretty, but you've become so ah lian I .. buay tahan, seriously. The worst thing is that you actually could look like a rather smart, pretty girl. Why why why did you become ah lian? ): Thank goodness we were never good friends. Thank goodness I was always on the other side. I wouldn't say you're revolting, but you're ah lian enough. I don't despise you; I actually pity you a little, 'cos you don't see it. Good luck with being your ah lian self and I hope you don't get too hurt when you finally face up to reality one day, girl.

I don't dislike you, really. I'm just a little.. wth-ed.

WHAT?!

Now I get what Amelia's talking about:

WHY'S THE MARGIN SO SMALL?!?!?!?!

*hyperventilates*

Can someone help me?!?! I like this blogskin, I don't want to change it ))): I just changed it! >:(

If this problem persists and nobody teaches me how to correct it by...7pm or so, I'll change blogskin. *sniff sniff*

HEH HEH HEH. At my mum's office now. Walked to Redhill from school only to realise that my EZ-link card didn't have enough money in it to take the MRT home, and I only had $1.20 so I didn't have enough money to top up, so I WALKED all the way to Bukit Merah Interchange and then FOUND MY WAY WITHOUT DIRECTIONS to my mum's office (Connection One, Tower 5)!!! I'M THE PRO RIGHT. I've never gone from Bukit Merah to my mum's office before, and I MANAGED TO FIND MY WAY THERE HAHAHA. My mother was incredibly shocked. I bet she didn't even expect me to be able to reach Bukit Merah Interchange with her instructions ("From the taxi stand at Redhill, cross the road to the market, and then just walk straight, straight, straight, until you see a MacDonald's"). She's used to me being hopelessly lost all the time.

WAHAHAHA. I'm the pro.

FREE INTERNET ACCESS, and FREE OUTGOING CALLS with her office phone! Guess who won't be doing her homework today :D

O's results weren't released today lah, stupid rumours >:(

It's been a friggin' month.

Why isn't the library open today? ): I hate doing my work at home. Yesterday I "did work" the whole day and only managed to finish my E Math Paper 2. And today, I've been working on my Lit essay for two hours and I've only done three paragraphs. Unproductive or what?

-

It's been a month; it's time I got you out of my mind.

Yet these few days, the memories are coming back to me, flooding my mind, and hitting me harder than before. Memories of how you used to hug me, your love and warmth drowning me; memories of the way you looked into my eyes and smiled when we were in your room, knowing that for that moment, nothing else in the world mattered, and our minds were totally focused on each other and nothing else; memories of how strongly and desperately I kissed you, until you became breathless and were going to faint, and I cried because I didn't mean to do that to you; that rush of love was too strong to control.

It's time I moved on, ass. Yet now everything reminds me of you and us. Everything. Even Hillsong, wth.
No longer can I listen to JJ's songs, to any Chinese songs, or even to slow English songs, especially the ones I used to listen to when we were together, and especially The Reason and Always Be My Baby. Now I can only listen to Avril's Let Go on repeat, despite having more than a thousand songs in my iPod. I don't know how long this will continue. How pathetic can I get?

I need to get you out of my friggin' mind. It's been a month, and I can't let you affect me longer than this. Prelims are in two weeks, and O's are just around the corner. I need a closure to this but I know I'm not even ready for that yet.

Someone please save me from myself; my mind's killing me.


"How do you feel when you see her now?"
"Nothing. It's like, the feelings have all gone. I don't feel anything now."
"Wow. I hope I'd be able to get to that stage someday."


Chinese O's results on Tuesday. Pray I'll get an A2, please please I can't get any lesser than an A2, although it's very very likely I'll get a B.

"I want to be a singer, like Kylie Minogue!"

"You think Jurong only have factories is it?" HAHA I LOVE BARBARELLA

VOCALUPTOUS performed! Too bad the first performance wasn't acapella. My dad was from the group too (!), but he gave it up when his workload got too heavy. -.- I think they sounded really nice when they were singing the national anthem! Go Vocaluptous :D

OH GOSH I LOVE SERGEANT DOLLAH'S DANCING HAHAHAHAHA. And the Lion Dance was SUPER CUTE CAN!

Juniors, I hope you guys enjoyed performing! They didn't show much of it on TV, they were more focused on Mark Lee and Sergeant Dollah (whatever his real name is LOL), but from what I saw it was okay! (:

A Sec 1 Mayflower dancer got knocked down by a taxi on 7th Aug, now she's in the ICU I think? Man I would have hated to be her - she must've been looking forward to this, especially because this is be her first year in Mayflower Dance. Poor thing, take care, I'll be keeping you in my prayers too (:

Yao De wants to join the parade!

YD: Will tell you when I join the parade! Hahaha! Wah. Super cool leh.

Me: What do they do anyway?

YD: March??

And friends, SILVANA'S MOTHER AND BROTHER were in The New Paper! :D Did anyone else see them? I recognised them only because Andre looked so much like Vana! But Vana's beauty is incomparable to others', of course ;D

vs.

Vana's mum's right ;D

Singapore Idol: The next Avril Lavigne! HAHAHA

Big Momma

We all sin. We all have secret sins. And these secrets, they chain us up, they eat away at us, then they begin to take over us.

God knows everything we're doing; why bother trying to hide anyway?

That's why we must confess our sins; then, the truth will set you free.

(Am I making sense? If not I'll rephrase it. Lol)

I got cheated of $15.

Doesn't sound like much, but I really really REALLY needed that $15.

I was so gullible I feel like slapping myself, seriously.

Well it's okay. Maybe she needed that money more than I do. All I can do now is hope she'll use that money wisely, and trust that God knows about it.

--

Teacher: .. And so the ugly duckling turned into a beautiful swan. So you see, everyone has hope!

Bart Simpson: Even me?

Teacher: No.

HELLO WORLD, WITNESS THE CRESCENT SPIRIT

Hey, today's 07/08/09! :D :D :D

I find this really amusing. I don't know why. Perhaps it's because I've been reciting this every year since P1.

I love my school, I really do.

Or rather, I love the people I met in my 2006-2009 years in Crescent. LOVE MY BATCH LOVE LOVE LOVE MY BATCH. And my seniors of course, but that's a different thing altogether.

Ms Ang & our Signboard

Bella helping Iman with her wig HAHA

Don't Forget the Lyrics was complete crap. I can't believe I actually bothered to memorize Singapore songs' lyrics for that. And EH, for the Moments of Magic one I TOTALLY RAISED UP MY HAND FIRST CAN. The other group didn't even raise their hands up at all! Not a single one raised their hand. SERIOUSLY. Then she still called for the "fastest hands first" thing when the other group didn't even raise their hands. I saw Kelly, Hazzie, Jieying etc chanting my name, trying to get them to choose me HAHA. Like GAH, but it's okay, still had fun anyway (:

Don'tForgetTheLyrics

Dance performance.... .

After the celebration:

Eudz(!!!)

Chen Ting, Janey and I went to Queenstown Library to do work. The silence is so intense it's stressful. So much better than J.E. Library please.

CHENTING'S HOLGA'S MEGA CUTE

+

= HAHA

Separated by a wall. Aww.

Janey "destressing". Manga. LOL

:D

O.O Pictures make a post really long. Forget it, it's Facebook from now on.

My secret fetish (!!)

I cut my fringe.

Before,

After,

Yup, cheena piang again. At least it wasn't as bad as previous haircuts though. Guess how much it cost to cut my fringe...

$3. LOL.

(Poor lighting yes I know. My photoshop isn't working because I used my activation code on my STOLEN TABLET and I can't use it anymore. WTH)

(UGH, STUPID PIMPLE)

YOG Learning centre was fun, our group got FIRST! :D So I have the YOG badge :D Wonderful wonderful pictures, and I videoed the class cheer. And I've got BEAU-I-FUL videos of Janeen HAHAHAHA. Will put everything up on Facebook when, I'm free ;D Three more weeks to Prelims though. Maybe after O's luh.

'Kay, Don't Forget the Lyrics tomorrow! Thankfully it's not like what I expected. And because there were only, like, two Sec 3 class representatives who turned up, ten of us are going to be on the stage together HAHA. YAY. I know Zuo En and Chrissy will be representing their classes too :D

Will be wearing the red tee Janice gave J4M a super long time ago. 2 years ago? Never wore it because it was kind of tight, but surprisingly it's okay now. :/ My weight records say I haven't lost any weight since Sec 1 though. Weird. Maybe Nadine's sister was right lol. Stupid screwed school weighing machine. I was so babyfatty in Sec 1 can.

Three years ago.

(!!!!!!) (Oh and HELLO NADINE if you happen to see this!)

Yknow, I was 152 in Sec 1 and suddenly shot up to 156 in Sec two. FOUR CM DIFFERENCE! And now I'm...157 -.- 1 cm in two years. Great. I want my growth spurt again.

Things couldn't get any better, really

Jenna: Cui Xiao's being gay!
Mrs Rupa: Cui Xiao's being gay?

Mrs Rupa: Stop being gay!

Control your poison, babe

"It started with crazy kissing and touching and it progress to something which makes me feel so disgusted. The guy put his head into the girl's skirt and later he also wanted to take upskirt picture of the girl with his handphone. "

Eff lah, want to have oral sex and do porn stuff also don't do in places like these right? If Crescent's reputation gets (any more) tarnished we Sec 4s mightn't be able to get into the JCs we want to. Spare a thought for us man. And yourself.

(Okay wait kidding)

But seriously, they shouldn't do it in places where people can take pictures. 'Kay I'm a little guilty of PDA-ing too (Some guy told us there were people watching) so I'm definitely not in any position to judge/say anything. People learn from mistakes I guess; I hope this has taught all of us a lesson: Don't make out in public. In school uniform.

-.-

It's unfair how the acts of a few people can tarnish the reputation of a thousand.

Hao shi bu chu men, huai shi chuan qian li (Teryne's comp can't type Chinese characters)

I think it's kind of unfair that some people get caught and some don't. A particular friend of mine in a certain sort-of-considered-kinda-elite-but-not-exactly-the-top school (not Crescent) could list out seven lesbian couples in her level eh.

By the way, why is it that the "uniformed boy", who "put his head into the girl's skirt" and "wanted to take upskirt picture of the girl with his handphone", is not talked about, while the Crescentian is getting talked about so much? I love my very recognizable Crescent uniform.

Anyway, I think Singapore Seen is turning into a moderately porn site. Nobody can disagree with me. There's always something about some teen couple making out like mad and stuff.

"TPJC students petting in bus back seat: 'Girl moaned and screamed at times'"
"Couple makes out for half hour in public's full view"
"Couple locks lips in hot kiss in public during peak hour"
"Hanky panky couples in school uniform smoke and pet on Henderson Waves bridge"
"China couple kiss non-stop and get touchy-feely on bus"
Complete with pictures (not obscene ones lah but still, you know).

The thread comments are interesting.

Someone please, please, please kill my heart now

I hate what I'm doing to myself. It doesn't make sense and I bloody know it. Crap. I need a new heart, a new life. Stupid hormones.

I know it's stupid. I know it's stupid. So why won't my stupid subconscious mind accept that? Why is my heart making life so bloody difficult for myself? Why am I doing this to myself? I hate it, I really want to stop it, I really do. The feeling sucks okay.

I know that I'm being stupid. This just isn't right. I need to concentrate on the right things now = Prelims and O's. Yet I'm so bloody messed up with my life now. This is just the wrongest time. Crap crap crap crap crap crap.

I can't do this again.

Note to self: I need to stop scratching my stupid pimple. It's not even a pimple anymore, it's just a big red ugly scab. I need to stop scratching it off. STOP IT! Maybe I should put a plaster over it. -.-

"I have no noticeable pimple leh"

"Ahh Shyan! I got pimple! Ahh! Ahh Shyan I'm going to cry!"

GRR you two ah, want to see my Sec 2 photo or not?

One Two Three

(i'm obviously the ugliest one with the worst complexion in the picture lah)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mental happy pill

"Aiyo. I shy leh :P Cute right? Oi, don't keep staring at my pic! Later you like me ah!"

Suah, this one's for you:

(He's the one on the left)

I think I'm really going mental. I'm bursting into random short fits of laughter now, thanks to his Facebook pictures. GAHAHA. Yao De, looks like you cheer me up better when you're asleep.

My heart's desperately holding on to the one thing that's actually making me laugh now. Haha. Self-defence mechanism. Yeah.

Prelims are three weeks away, and this is the worst time.

The worst time to buckle is when the most important exams are just around the corner.

Fking screw life, you idiot.

Sometimes I wonder why God, if a God exists, who is supposed to be perfect, made such a mistake with my life. Was I even supposed to be born? Maybe I wasn't, and that's why He doesn't realise I'm alive.

You think you've gotten over this, but it's just too soon.

It's only been 25 days, idiot.

This is just plain stupid. You don't know it, but I do. You think you're over it.

I did too, for a while, when I was too caught up in other thoughts, but later it was clear that I was just fooling myself by thinking I was over it. For a period of time, whenever I thought of a particular someone, I'd feel like as if I had completely gotten over you, and I wouldn't really feel anything when I thought of you. Then I realised the only reason I felt that way was because subconsciously, my mind was replacing thoughts of you with thoughts of him; it was like a painkiller, a sadness-forgetter, a mood lifter. Everything I felt was still, ultimately, based on you and not him. The only reason I felt that way was because subconsciously, I was looking desperately for something else to fill up that hole you caused in my heart. For that moment, I forgot about you and replaced all my sad thoughts about a lost love with happy thoughts of a new-found one. How stupid I was to have thought it was real. My mind was in "self-defence" mode, preventing me from feeling sad.

I thought you'd be smart enough to figure that out too.

It's just a vicious cycle, a downward spiral, don't you see? Maybe only I see it thanks to God's wisdom. Thank God, really, for saving me from causing as much destruction to my life as you are.

Joker, get real.

I just hope you won't be as stupid anymore.




Me too. I need someone to fill my heart up again, but I know I can't do it, I mustn't, to save my life.

Seriously, I need to kiss somebody. :/

You asshole.

(YD, just for today)

Get your life right. I know my life is screwed, but at least I know it. Your life is screwed and you're screwing it further without realising it. I thought you would've been smart enough by now to know that it'll only bring more hurt and shit all over again.

I thought we were special. Weren't we? What we had was definitely not like anyone else's. I thought our story was special; it turns out, maybe it was just normal. How could something like that be only normal?

Only I know. Only I know.

Joker, you never fail to surprise me.

Get real.

When I said this to Maddie, and when I said it to Janice, I knew I was talking about myself too.

We all have a certain measure of love in our hearts, let's think of it as a thick tough rubbery bubble-shaped container of love. Once it's been filled and expanded, it can't shrink. After that measure has been filled and expanded and then emptied all of a sudden, it's suddenly devoid of love. Love is gone and that tough bubble is burst, leaving a huge hole where it once was. With a hole in your heart, your heart can't cope. Your heart would subconsciously try to find all ways to fill it, resorting to desperate measures. Maybe if it can't find someone to love, it would resort to coming up with an imaginary character to love. Maybe that's how some people turn mental.

* shared her story with me once. It was just as I had guessed - even though her life seemed great on the outside, it was a mess on the inside. She didn't have the love of a father, and so she subconsciously started seeking for love, desperately, even without her noticing it.

Ever known/heard of someone who had a really long-term relationship that was real love, but after they broke up, the guy turned into a playboy?

There's a hole in my heart now, and my heart's trying to look for all ways to fill it. My heart is devastated, destroyed, in denial, deluded, desperate - and if this carries on, it'll be the death of me.

I'd never like you if I were in my right mind. Not that you aren't likeable in that sense, but you're definitely just not the kind of person I'd, you know, fall in love with. I know my heart's in a real mess and needs to feel the ecstasy and security and comfort of love again; once you've experienced it, it's hard to do without it. I'm struggling, I just hope I'll be able to get out of this before it takes my life.

"Right after my O levels, her aunt came up to me to tell me to break up with her"

A sweet story of love forcefully torn apart by her parents.

"I'm staying single for JC life"

I'd never have expected that to come from you, especially because I heard from my senior and S that you hung out with girls a lot, too much. Hearing that from you was reassuring, but it also broke my heart because I knew you're doing this because you still love her, and can't forget her. Well, I'm in no position to say this, but stay strong (:

Two confused hearts -

One longing for love, and one afraid of it.

One whose story has yet to begin, and one who hopes it’s the end.

It's funny to hear you talk about your problems because of what I've just gone through, but I love how you confide in me anyway.

Jia you love love (:

Your turn to get real

Your attitude is revolting. You're too blinded by pride and rebellion to know I'm talking about you, don't you?

It's going to get you nowhere, girl. You and your friend are right, what a joke, you think you're cool like that but really, it's just the two of you in delusion, not realising everyone else thinks you're just plain disgusting and very immature.

Get real.

"What kind of a name is Tinky Winky?" - Kauthami

1) Festival of Praise with Maddie and Jan was quite fun, although I bet it would've been tons funner if Hillsong were there. I was almost able to go for the Hillsong concert but Annie who had the tickets couldn't contact me T.T T.T

There was a not-young-but-not-elderly man in front of Janice and I, and the way he was praising God was really...weird. But I really admire it. He didn't care at all about what the other people around were thinking. Maybe he has a mental problem, but it's for the better! There was also this rather young guy two rows in front, he was swaying in a rather drunk manner as he was clapping along which I thought was really cute. When that guy was raising his hand in praise, and when the older man was doing a certain action (he bowed his head and looked like as if he was offering something to God with his head bowed), for a split second my heart jumped and tears came to my eyes. And I thought, maybe sometimes God lets us feel what He feels when he sees certain things, to let us learn a little more about Him. It touched me a lot for some reason.

2) Went to the library with Yao De and his brother to study from 12 to 6. I studied Development for today's time trial, and I spent FIVE HOURS studying Reasons and Indicators, i.e. everything except Strategies, and then Janey sms-ed me at around five to tell me that we're going to be tested on STRATEGIES. -.- -.- -.-

Yao De was playing MAPLE HAHAHAHAHAHA

GAYNESS!