Dec 31, 2010
Dec 30, 2010
I don't know how I feel, and I don't know how you feel now either- but perhaps it's better that it all remains unknown, because I know how things should not end up.
(Did I even say that right? Gosh I shouldn't try. Just couldn't find a better way to say it in English.)
Your hands are shaking cold-
These hands are meant to hold.
When all you gotta keep is strong
Move along, move along
Like I know you do
Dec 29, 2010
This trip to KL has passed way too fast. I can't believe I'm returning tomorrow.
Dec 25, 2010
Dec 24, 2010
Dec 23, 2010
I’m back in KL and the cousins, and it feels like I’ve returned home.
Ian's/Ivan's place in KL feels like home to me, perhaps because I've been here all my life. We've played hide-and-seek in the cupboards; played The Family Game with dolls and make-believe worksheets; played Twister and the Game of Life and Crazy Taxi. I love being back in KL, even if I don't do anything here. Just being here and being with the people I've known my entire life (or almost, anyway, since I'm one of the oldest among my maternal cousins) is enough to keep me happy.
Made a new AC friend, Ji En (or Ji Xian), when we realised via Fang Jiunn's status that the three of us were in KL. So we met up two days ago and ate and bowled and ate and ate and ate.
Met him again today with Yvonne because he was at 1 Utama, which is a less-than-ten-minutes' walk from Ian's place. Hooray for new friends! Right after Ji Xian had seen Yvonne and I off, he saw Nick Wong :O And it turns out Nick had seen WL earlier in China. Okay, what?! Interesting small world.
Played the legendary I Never with the cousins - because our parents didn't want us to kill ourselves with water overdose, we did pushups/crunches as a penalty.
Alright, this is one of those lame how-my-day-went posts, but.... yup. I love my cousins. I'm home.
I was telling JX about a theory I have about hearts that have been broken - how our hearts are like stone walls that have a hole blasted through them, and how finding cement to patch the hole up is an ideal but unrealistic goal to reach for just yet, so we find whatever we can to fill the hole up to stop it from crumbling for now - playing blocks, sponge, whatever. And he said, why don't you fill the hole with a door that you can open or close at will?
To be able to choose to open or close that door.... that's something I wish I could do. To have control over myself and my crazy, desperate emotions. To be able to seal that door when I don't want it open, that stupid gaping hole.
Dec 18, 2010
Dec 17, 2010
Dec 16, 2010
Cold, crushed esteem; take shelter and hide forever
Your soul will be okay
Dec 12, 2010
Dec 11, 2010