Mar 31, 2010

Anything can be art, really.

It's amazing how Maddie can always effortlessly pull off what would seem like the most mismatched outfit ever on someone else. It's the confidence you exude that makes all the difference.
Like, I can only wear plain clothes with boring designs. That's why I look for stuff with not-so-typical cutting instead of colourful stuff. It's very easy for my outfit to look weirdly matched and I look bad in most things. That's why I don't have many clothes; it's hard for me to look for something that really suits me. My style of dressing has to be very careful and along the lines of smart-casual-ness. Loose-fitting clothes look quite horrible on me too so I really have to lose my tummy fats in order to wear figure-hugging clothes.


Funny Family

When my cousin Eythan came to Singapore, he sat on a stool in my house and broke it.
Richard Yeoh
Richard Yeoh
He once sat on a glass table and broke the table. Thank God he was not hurt. BTW he was abt 8 years old only.
January 11 at 8:52pm ·

Mar 30, 2010


was also JJ's 29th birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JJ!!!

So I was supposed to be the corpse and Chen and Jeremy were supposed to be the people running out from under the tables I was lying on. But the guys were having a lot of trouble coming out from under the tables because the space was too small for them and they had to lie flat on the floor and scramble out, which was quite un-scary. I, on the other hand, fit perfectly under the table with my knees tucked under me, so I could slide out and get up much quicker. So, DURING OUR VERY LAST REHEARSAL, we decided to switch roles. Risky but obviously a good decision.

Our first few rounds were horrible because we weren't used to our roles yet. I was also supposed to simply come out a little and scream and then slither back inside, which wasn't interesting at all. After the first few groups of people reacted super indifferently to our attempts at scaring them, we decided to "go all out". I remember in between the groups of people coming I was behind the tables talking to Chen and then I kept hearing someone call me, and then I realised Elgyn (who was a guide/butler) was under the tables where I was supposed to be, looking for me, HAHA. Then he said something about nobody being even remotely scared so we had to change our tactics and go all out to scare them. So I'd run out from under the tables. I'd immediately slide out from under the tables when Chen banged the table and then I'd run towards them.

The responses were getting better, I guess, but there were also a lot of failed ones. Most weren't afraid of me when I ran out, but found my makeup scary when they were close enough to see it properly, so I decided to go really near the people. It really didn't occur to me that I was within kissing range of a lot of them! I guess I just wasn't myself. I knew I was no longer Karen but a stranger whose job was to scare people - I was in control and could do what I wanted and it felt like I was using someone else's body. When I realised I was that close I got quite disgusted at myself and stopped it LOL.
My 3 corpses - Chen, Dave and Jeremy. Dave wasn't even supposed to be a corpse; he was the groom sitting with his bride and the "family portrait" and oranges and candles but he and Chen decided to switch roles for a while 'cos they were getting bored.
(Dave was supposed to sit where Jeremy's sitting.)

So anyway, when Jeremy took over Chen's corpse role, he suggested banging the table only after he had sat up for a very long time and everyone thought that was all. So we'd catch them off guard. The results were epic :D

I received a lot of F words from the guys. A number of girls freaked out when they saw me and fell down screaming and backing away. HAHAHA. There were so many "What the F**K"s and "Oh my gosh"s I felt rather accomplished. One really buff looking guy was threatening to hit me and kept pushing me away from him in fright. I got whacked lightly by a soft toy and big board.

Acting in the Haunted House is the only time comments like "F**K YOU" and "GO AWAY" make one happy!
This was taken in between scaring groups of people. I was bored. It was funny to see myself, Chen and Dave take out our phones to sms when we were done scaring a group of people and quietly put them back when the second group was coming.

Halfway through my shifts (6 hours in total), both my knees and feet got abrasions because I was sliding out from underneath the tables in a kneeling position. It hurt BADLY when I had to continue sliding out quickly with the super dirty floor against my abrasions half the time. The sole of my foot also got cut and my foot was practically black with dust from the floor, so a lot of it must've gotten into the cut. Ugh.


After Miss Tan screamed that the AH Scare Factory was over, we screamed and blasted Tik Tok through the speakers for a while and all the 1AHers went crazy screaming and jumping along. It's seriously almost officially our class song.

When Miss Tan asked us to tell one another something we liked about the Haunted House, a 2AH senior I didn't know until that day (Kimberly) shouted "Karen! You rock!" :D

Then we went for a sort-of supper at Holland V!

Anyway, I really liked how much care and concern all of us showed one another during the Haunted House. I enjoyed the High-5s with Chen after we had done a successful scare (because things were pretty bad during the first half of the day) and I found it really nice that Jeremy constantly asked me if I was okay. When I hit my back against the table really badly while coming out he was really concerned too. (There's still a scar and it hurts loads!) And Han from 2AH actually took the trouble to help me get duct tape during the shifts while we were still supposed to be scaring groups, I thought that was really nice of him, especially since I don't even know him.

__ from 2AH met with an accident when someone accidentally dropped a pot that broke and cut her, and in the middle of a shift we had to stop everything and turn the lights on when someone sprayed water at a "ghost". At least nobody came and ruined our haunted house, though. Elgyn told me that in Cat High last year the haunted house had to be shut down within the first few hours of operation because the sports people came and cut the trash bags they had used to create walls. (We were using trash bags too so I was pretty afraid of that!)


What about me?

When the supposed closest people to you in school are people whose favourite pastime is bitching, there's a limit to the amount of trust you can put in them. There's an limit to how comfortable you feel about being yourself with them.
Love my pals Mad and Jan, seeing you guys on the 28th was good. It's what's keeping me sane and relatively happy.

Mar 28, 2010

For self-reference

(Binky, I warned you)
So BK said "OMG IT'S CRAWLING OMG" but I thought I heard him say "She's my friend". Not that I recognised his voice but it had to be him because I don't know anyone else of that height. Then he said he couldn't remember; he had said a lot of things. Then 'cos I was crawling after them down the stairs BK's friend told him to go faster and BK said "How to, you're hugging me".

Sophy Tio
you crawled out from the corpse?? is it the top of the LT?? the one on the bed????
about an hour ago
Karen Ho
Karen Ho
Under the "bed" hahaha
about an hour ago ·
Nicola Mah
Nicola Mah
haha yeah that one's her lools uber scary man
about an hour ago
Karen Ho
Karen Ho
Omg don't tell me you didn't see me either! That Jeremy kept giving the signal for me to go out not-very-early so a lot of people didn't even realise I was there ):
about an hour ago ·
Sophy Tio
Sophy Tio
OMGOMG I WANT TO FREAKING KILL YOU WHEN I SEE YOU TMR. WHAT THE HELL LA> YOU WERE THE WORST MAN!!! i super scared of you then i keep pushhing your head away!!! omg you suck la. you were like crawling down to chase me down the stairs!!! SUCKS LA!!! HAHAHA
about an hour ago
Karen Ho
Karen Ho
about an hour ago ·
Sophy Tio
Sophy Tio
DAMN SUPER DUPER SCARED. then your friend when to bang the bed or something then you came crawling out right. sucks man.. sucks being the last one. ahahaha you were quite good, ive got to say... a persistent ghost
about an hour ago
Sophy Tio
Sophy Tio
about an hour ago
Karen Ho
Karen Ho
Awesome! Hahaha. Yeah that was Jeremy. Thank you Sophy! Dunno if it's a good thing for you but I feel very honoured hahahaha
about an hour ago ·
Sophy Tio
Sophy Tio
hahaha good thing i guess.... hahaha then you and that other guy who stood up also come and stalk me. i ask you all go away.. LOL you 2 seperated me from the rest. hahaha super scary! haha

Proper post when I can

I wasn't a corpse today, but

Mar 27, 2010



Shucks, it's 2am now which means I'll probably only have less than 2.5 hours of sleep, and tomorrow's a super exhausting day. I'll only have 2 hours free; I'll be a corpse for 4 hours and a random ghost for 2 hours. Life is harsh.


Fun-O-Rama prep was exhausting. Setting up the biggest lecture theatre in the school for our Haunted House was a lot of work. Was fun at first, and then it just got frustrating.
And then I camwhored with Elgyn LOL.

Chen looked pretty awesome so the both of us decided to roam the school and find Binkai and scare him. Binkai swore when he saw Chen in the canteen and said he almost didn't recognise me... and then later messaged me to tell me that we genuinely scared him.


So I'm the corpse, and I'm working with Chen. At first I was terrified at the prospect of having to lie down on tables and face the ceiling in almost-total darkness with a lot of space around me. No feeling of security at all. I even told Chen to allow me to hug him if I needed it LOL. Turns out, though, I didn't feel the least bit afraid. I think it's because I knew it was my job to scare people, so since I was the scarer, nothing could scare me! During Crescent Dance's haunted house, I didn't feel scared at all being alone in a corner in the dark either. It's the mentality: I won't be scared because I'm the one doing the scaring.

Turns out, Chen felt more frightened than me HAHA. But that's because he couldn't see a thing while I could see what was going on around me.

Got really tired and slacked a little with . Spent a lot of time securing bamboo poles (with Eliz Tan) and connecting the trash bags.

The sign I made last night!!

Unlike a few of our fellow 1AHers who left right after the food stall passed inspection at 2pm, those of us in charge of the Haunted house and some of those in charge of Food but thoughtful enough to stay back and help us left really late. Geraldine, Amelia, Elgyn and I left early - at 9.10pm. I'm guessing they ended at 9.30. AND ALL THE 1AH PEOPLE STILL HAD TO MASH 12 POTATOES EACH OKAY (because we're selling mashed potatoes).

So Geraldine and Elgyn came over! My awesome maid had already finished boiling and mashing our potatoes because my mum had bought their share of potatoes for them earlier, so we just mashed them some more and added the garlic, milk, butter etc. Had a lot of fun crapping.
And then at around 10.45 we left for Macs for a very unhealthy supper.
My dad: Come faster take a picture
Geraldine: No no time my mum's here already and she sounds pissed!

No, that wasn't meant to be a funny dialogue or whatever. I was just explaining the photo because it looks so weird, hahaha.

AWESOME FUN-O-RAMA TOMORROW!!! It's 2.30am. Less than 2.5 hours' sleep.. and 6 hours of scaring people tomorrow.

Mar 26, 2010

It's 1am

It's dark outside and the rest of my family is asleep. I'm alone in the dining room - the living room's light is on but the dining room's isn't - and I'm painting a messy sign that says
I feel almost emo. My symbol is bold and messy but I'm totally peacefully calm.

And then I go to the living room and see a flying ant and jerk away in shock. -.-

Irritated with myself - initially the sign looked rather good and I was quite proud of it, considering the fact that my art is usually limited to drawing stick figures. And then I got too carried away and overdid it and now it looks bad ):

Mar 25, 2010


AH's Haunted House = LT1 (2nd floor near the hall)
COME SUPPORT!!! I'm a wandering ghost!!!

Mar 24, 2010

Deep Dark Secret

I really like Baby by Justin Bieber :/
.....and before JC started I bought his album. And Taylor Swift's.
But I don't really like his album, and it's a rip-off - 7 songs for $15, wth. And I don't like how he has a kid's voice but always sings about love; it just doesn't really seem to fit. Love isn't the only thing you can sing about, you know.
But I watched a Facebook video of him randomly going to Buckingham Palace and sitting outside and singing with his friend and liked it. I like it when people can sing. Like JJ.

JJ!!!! Yeah so he doesn't look that great, but his talent is irrefutably amazing.

"Karen, I'm afraid we can't be friends anymore" - Avinash, after looking through my iPod. I don't listen to 80% of the songs in my mp3... because they're Korean or Chinese. I have a thousand Chinese albums because of my craziness in Sec 1-3. Now I listen to English songs but I've got so few. I'm terribly bored of the songs I have. Someone please introduce me to new songs ):

Mar 22, 2010

Another one of those temporary obsessions

Introducing Jon Heder, who plays Jimmy MacElroy in Blades of Glory!
No, he actually isn't really cute, but there's this charm about him in some parts of the movie. Don't we all love it when a guy looks like he's really focusing on something? Like, you know, it's in the eyessss.

I wish I could crop this picture so that the picture could focus on his face better but I can't, I'm in the library using the Mac. So.



But omg, he so doesn't look his age in the show. (He's 32!) Makeup does wonders. He looks friggin' cute in the show, his boyish charm is so ahh. His skin. It's all foundation but who cares!

Blades of Glory was funny. Like most U.S. movies, it didn't really touch my heart but it has the potential to, if only it focused a little more on their trainings and how their bond developed and everything weren't so fast and snappy. Emotions need time and space to develop and most U.S. movies don't give the audience that (because, as I read once from a reputable magazine, Americans have the attention span of three-year-olds). Most of the time I was going "What the?!?!?!" because some scenes were to hilariously ridiculous, especially the last bit! What's that all about, ascending into the sky with their rocket ice blades, like what?!?! But I still really liked the show. Mainly because of Jon I guess, heh heh.

Btw, he has a twin brother!


Mar 21, 2010


Yesterday I left the house without my EZ-link card and iPod. Today I left the house with my iPod and card but without my headphones and handphone. But at least I still had my camera with me. I felt safe. (:

Can't stand wondering how everybody knows everybody and how the few people I'm close to are suddenly friends with the other people I want to know. It's always like that. Not just in Crescent and ACJC, in fact. Why? How did these connections come about all of a sudden? Is there some secret group everyone automatically knows about except me? Suddenly, eh, how did they become good friends? And where do I fit in the picture - will I ever be their friends too, or will I always remain out of the colourful room of friends everyone else seems to be in?

Supernatural favour?

Econs questions + studying - WHAT?!
Looking at homework makes me sleepy. The compre questions are really hard. In fact they're harder than the Chinese questions - and that's saying a lot. But the Chinese one is really hard too. I don't want to do a freaking summary in Chinese laaaaaah.

Mar 20, 2010

I must stop Facebook stalking


The more I look at your pictures the cuter I think you are O:
Wish I knew you better.

Mar 19, 2010

I wanna dance, I wanna dance in the light

I really never liked the song Rock That Body by B.E.P. but they keep playing it on 98.7fm and it's starting to get weirdly addictive.

I think If We Ever Meet Again is addictive! The chorus.

I would relate Thursday's Dance practice to an A Math lesson. When you're given some new math concept and you become super blur and need a long, long time to digest it, you usually aren't given that luxury. So the teacher goes on and tries to cram more concepts into your very messed up head until you just can't take it and explode in frustration. That's what Dance practice was like. I really tried hard to remember all the steps and I'm actually quite amazed that I can still recall about half of them (and it's Friday). So I was really, really fed up with myself and everything.

Banner painting brightened my day though!
By the way, I dropped three cups of paint on the floor while we were carrying everything down to do the painting. Miss Tan went "Well, great start to the banner painting!" Screamed like crazy and got black paint all over my collegiate tee, shorts and my brother's favourite pair of shoes. (I really didn't know they were his most-used pair, I thought they were some old pair he never uses anymore.) Really sorry guys.

For the record, our banner looks something like this:

So funny lah, the girls decided to make the "hot" dude T__ H____, the PE "teacher" who took over Mr Ong during our last lesson, so they gave him brown hair and abs and laughed like mad when Grace was talking about painting his nipple. Couldn't give him braces because teeth would have looked weird though.
(This guy: )

OG OUTING TODAY WAS GOOD but since I can't seem to upload the photos I shall blog about it another time.

Mar 17, 2010

Dear future soulmate,

I do hope you're a
Cold Hearted Bloodsucker


WHY AM I ALWAYS DOING OTHER PEOPLE'S ****?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?


Mix Style Headphones - Replica
Selling both black star with white base and white star with black base.
Type: Closed
Driver: 40mm
Sensitivity: 99dB
Frequency response: 500~20000Hz
Power handling capacity: 0.2W
Impedance: 32Ω
Mass: Approx. 160g
Length of the cord: 50cm

Mar 16, 2010

See my friends perform!

CLICK HERE Can skip to 2:35 I guess.
OMG, MY JJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY JJ MY JJ JJ JJ
4:12-4:15 & 4:31-4:33 :D

So Dorothy took my place in J4M haha. What if JJ thinks Dorothy is me? :(

Youth Meeting with Pastor Kong really was more of a huge meeting than a service. I think it's great that he brought up his concerns with the rest of us.

Asia has the greatest population, yet the Christian population is dying. Churches are sticking to old practices and refusing new methods (like the Christian college failing a student for suggesting merging pop/rock with Christian worship songs long long ago...oh how I love Hillsong/Planetshakers)... and as a result people find it "boring" and stop going as a result. Submitting themselves to 2-3 hours of supposed "boredom" every week is pointless anyway because it means they don't feel or learn about God.

I experience God in my church. Pastor Kong is also very enlightening when he preaches. You sense the Holy Spirit when he preaches something powerful. The Holy Spirit is what keeps me coming back every week, and shouldn't it be that way? A church isn't just a building, it's more of when people come together to worship and the Holy Spirit is there among them. Even during cell group in Daniel's house, when we sing and pray, the atmosphere changes, you know when He's there.
"For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” -Matt 18:20

If every Sunday a group of bored adults go for service and fall asleep, would you say they are being obedient Christians by going to church every week? They don't feel spiritually enlightened; they don't feel the presence of the Holy Spirit; they don't learn more about Him. In my opinion that doesn't count. You end up not growing spiritually at all.

(BTW PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M IMPLYING THAT SMALL CHURCHES ARE BORING/USELESS. I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THAT!!!!!! I love small churches. I'm talking about the PEOPLE finding church boring. People definitely can find big churches boring too! What I'm trying to say is that we should constantly search for methods that help motivate people to come to church until they eventually feel God for real and no longer need "outside motivation". After all, not everyone starts out immediately on never-dying fire for God.)

But this wasn't the point of the youth meeting. He said the percentage of people below 19 years old in the church is lower than ever before - 19%. When City Harvest started out, Pastor Kong was 24 and he and another woman were the only working adults in the church (and would you consider 24 much of an adult?); everyone else was a teenager. The church got laughed at and called a "giant Sunday school" - I was quite taken aback upon hearing that.

People think we youths aren't serious, but they were and they worked fervently for God. Cell group leaders, zone supervisors at the age of 16-17, song leaders at 15.... there were times they had no money but they pressed on. Now all we have and enjoy at City Harvest are the fruits of their labour.

On the way home with John and Julia, John told us a little true story..

John's Testimonial

So, John's doing Mechatronics in ITE. There was this practical exam where he had to build a machine that worked or something like that. Ten minutes before the end of the exam he had already finished building it but it couldn't work. And, not knowing what to do, while everyone else was focusing on their own machines, he knelt there and prayed for help. After that he felt God was telling him to abandon everything he had done and start on a totally new question. So that's what he did: with only ten minutes left, he told his teacher that he wanted to abandon everything he was doing and start on a new question. And when ten minutes was up and the teacher told him to stop, he was done. And he pressed the button on the machine.
And it worked!

I think what John did was incredibly courageous. Would you have done what he did, to listen to the crazy voice in your head telling you to start on a whole new question ten minutes before your time was up? Would I have? I probably would have brushed that thought aside and tried to make my present model work. That means I would have ignored God's voice. I guess I'm too insecure to trust that voice in my head. I will question it endlessly. John's faith, displayed at that moment, is amazing, just as God is, and I think this testimonial has taught me a lot.

Anyway, the reason I love City Harvest and other youth-oriented / non-family churches is that they bring God to people who don't come from Christian backgrounds or have Christian friends around them. Hardly anyone in CHC has parents who were originally Christians (and that includes me) - in fact, a considerable number grew up Buddhists (like John and JT). Some members used to be...gangster-ish (or, as Willie calls it, "old dragons"). Most of us weren't "born" into Christian families or taught Christian principles since young; we fought for our faith once we were touched by God.

I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by Christian people... when I was around 4 or 5, my mother told me that Aunty Suming wanted me to go to church, so I did. Apparently I went to the church she was in for a while before dear Sarah and her family offered to fetch me to and from their church every Sunday (St Andrew's Cathedral).

This post is super lengthy so I shall end here. -.-

Mar 15, 2010

Yesterday I prayed for unwavering faith.

ACJC and City Harvest Church are the two things my life pretty much revolves around right now, and they're also two things the outside world generally has a bad impression of.

Sometimes I think about Carmen and wonder what she'd be like without God in her life. I mean, I can't think of God and Carmen separated, can you? Carmen and the Holy Spirit almost go hand in hand.

Sometimes I think about my own life and wonder what I'd be like now had Xueling Laoshi not invited my friends and I to City Harvest. How different my Christian life and life in general would be now if I had gone back to St Andrew's. Would I even have gone back at all? What would my life be like without God now? Would I still be in that relationship, still frequently going to his house and random playgrounds, would I have had the time or motivation to study hard for my Os? Would I bother making friends, painstakingly helping others with their work, listening to my friends' problems, trying to make my parents happy?

And while the outside world still thinks of my school and church negatively, all I can do is be a good representative of both, to show the rest what they have done in my life, to be - as my church puts it - "the salt and the light", "the head and not the tail".

Woah, my Nuffnang statistics claim there's been someone from the U.S. here today! Say hi on my tagboard, whoever you are!!

"I watch...Glee....Gossip Girls....90210..." - Jing Quan, who claimed he had his period


Can you spot them?! JJ's obviously the guy with the black jacket and side fringe,
JT's in red, Maddie's in the army pants and brown hair and Janice is in purple behind Maddie.


Mar 14, 2010


(In the essay Daryl's my ex and Maddie's the girl he gives me up for. Sorry pals. The names just seemed to fit.)

I was once full of life. Years ago, I had what the girls in my school were fighting to get - love. The confidence that radiated from me brightened the lives of the people around me, and for my confidence I was well-liked and admired.

Unknown to everyone including me, my confidence came not from within myself. Daryl, with his sweet words and the way he gazed into my eyes with love, always made me feel like the most beautiful girl alive. He never took notice of my imperfect complexion, or the fact that i was slightly plump - when I talked to him about it, he simply said it made me look cuter - and as he never mentioned these flaws to me, I had never noticed them, either. In his eyes, my beauty was incomparable to everyone else's, and it slowly became so in my own eyes too. My confidence never came from within myself; instead, it was fuelled by Daryl's love for me.

The danger of finding security in someone other than yourself is that when he disappears, you lose it. The day Daryl took an interest to Madeleine was the day I fell from grace. I was the most beautiful girl to him, was I not? Seeing pictures on the Internet of the both of them together pierced my soul like a dagger in my heart. I studied her carefully - her waist-length hair; her big, chestnut-brown eyes; her angular features; her rose-tinted lips - and began to feel sick with realisation. A tear trickling down my cheek, I stared at myself in my pink, full-length mirror. For the first time I saw what I really looked like. My eyes were too small, made even smaller from the crying. Freckles were appearing on my tanned skin, and I was never plump - I was fat. My tears had mysteriously stopped, and I stood in front of the mirror in shock. This could not be me. Rage engulfed my soul as I smashed the mirror and saw myself break apart in the shattered glass - a reflection of how I felt inside. The pink mirror was too pretty for such an ugly girl like me.

In school, I was too afraid to show my face, finding comfort in hiding behind books or covering my eyes with my long fringe. Concerned friends came up to me and asked what had happened, but I was too humiliated to look at their pretty faces and dared not meet their gaze. I became uncomfortable when people looked at me. When someone happened to laugh as I walked past, I would hang my head lower and cry inside, assuming it was me she was laughing at. Every time I came across a mirror or a reflective surface, I would be unable to resist the temptation to glance at my reflection, in an attempt to find an occasion where I looked as beautiful as I - or Daryl - thought I was, and convince my shattered heart that i did not look that bad. Instead, I would always only see the same ugly girl staring back at me, and I would detest myself all over again. No longer did I wear the pretty tank tops, skirts and dresses I used to love to put on - I was far too hideous-looking for those.

Daryl's sweet words continued to haunt me, and every time I caught sight of myself in the mirror, the words would whisper themselves to me from the back of my mind, laughingly, sneeringly, until the little voice became a deafening laughter ringing in my ears, engulfing me, as I would crouch down with my hands on my ears, trying to block out the mocking words that screamed from within me.

Thank God for my friends who never gave up on me. With their constant reassurance and love, I grew in confidence again, slowly. My friends showed me that true beauty came from within. When I was full of confidence and life, I was beautiful even though I did not look as good as some of my classmates, and my friends would feel beautiful around me, too. When my confidence was torn apart, so was my beauty. In the past, everyone saw the life and spirit inside me. People were blinded by my grace and confidence; what I actually looked like on the outside was almost invisible to them. When I had lost my confidence, people only saw a cold, empty shell behind lifeless eyes. Like a mirror, how I felt inside reflected what I looked like on the outside, and what people saw when they looked at me. Slowly, I regained strength again. Very slowly, I could feel the radiance in me begin to shine again.

Now, it seems like fate that I met you. The first time I saw you, you were lying on the cold, hard concrete floor of the deserted corridor in the school, a stream of tears flowing from your red eyes to form a puddle of sorrow on the ground. I could tell that those eyes were full of life before. Your weak, anguished expression almost concealed the happiness you had felt just moments ago. Your cries struck a chord in my heart, a beautiful song of pain. I could tell you had given up on hope, that you felt like as if you had just been pulled out of your fantasy and were forced to face reality. I saw the lifelessness in your eyes, but underneath that mask of death I caught sight of a faint, muffled cry for help, for hope, for desperation to go back to the life you once lived. I know, because I have been down that road before. In you I see a reflection of myself, like as if I were looking through a mirror that had travelled through time. I will not let you suffer everything I went through. I promise to help you regain your confidence, to shine with beauty once more, just like how my friends helped me, because your life mirrors my own.

I have visitors from UK, Russia, US, Aust, France AND 'Unknown'?!

But they're not affiliated with Singapore's ACS lah. My mum was from ACS Ipoh!
The world's first ACS was in Malacca, founded in 1818 before being relocated to Hongkong (?!).

With long hair and too much makeup and fat legs

and the feeling of clicking immediately with people you've just met.

Diana, I know you don't read my blog but I want the photoshoot pics!!! ):