Nov 2, 2010

With all the care they've showered you with all along,

you realise any one of them deserves your love more than the one you're trying to cling on to, the one who also happens not to care.


Craze: To cause to become mentally deranged or obsessed; make insane.

A friend just gave me the link to Heart Vacancy by The Wanted and told me to take a look at the lyrics.
When you've got friends like these, you look back and realise how horrible you've been to them.

For months, all my heart's been about one guy. It was to him a passing phase; to me a craze. I know I shouldn't give my heart freely to someone who doesn't see me the way I see him, but it's something one can't help doing.

Imagine an owner who loved a puppy, but decided later on when the dog had grown up that it wasn't so cute and lovable after all. The dog wouldn't understand the owner's sudden disinterest; it'd run after the owner, it wouldn't give up. He's all the dog has.

I can't stand how I'm letting someone - who doesn't feel for me at all - make my heart soar and fall so much without even realising. I'm getting better at managing my feelings, thankfully, but it's happened too many times in the past.

And there are all these people around me who don't run away when I need a listening ear, who are there to hear me rant and shout and emo. And to remind me that I'm worth more.

Thank you Reu, WL, Amelia, Binkai, Pau, Justin and more, for being there to listen and offer words of comfort (or little jokes to make me laugh), and helping me remember that I'm more loved and less lonely than I think. For helping me remember how stupid I am to allow myself to be controlled by someone who doesn't notice, because I'm worth more.

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