Feb 26, 2011

My God reigns; My God is over all

Who am I that You are mindful of me?
That You hear me when I call
God Almighty; Lord of Glory
You have called me friend

Church service today was the last weekend we'll be having services at Expo. After this it'll be at the Jurong West building for two weeks, and we'll move to Suntec on the 19th!!!!!

Service was awesome. The atmosphere was really there. I prayed, prayed, prayed - my mouth moving furiously in a language I didn't even understand, and suddenly I had the impulse to pray about something I can't remember now, and I felt like I just wasn't able to express how excited and grateful and in awe I was, and I didn't know how else to convey it. How much faster, how much louder, to satisfy my desire to tell Him the extent of what I was feeling., because I didn't even know what I was saying.

Haggai 2:3-5 (NLT)
Is there anyone who can remember this house - the Temple - as it was before? In comparison, how does it look to you now? It must seem like nothing at all!
But now take courage, Zerubbabel, says the LORD. Take courage, Jeshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Take courage, all you people still left in the land, says the LORD. Take courage and work, for I am with you, says the LORD Almighty.
My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised when you came out of Egypt. So do not be afraid.

Service was about discouragement. I guess a lot of times when my friends and I compare things now as they used to be - or the potential of things to turn out as well as they had before, there's usually a sense of hopelessness. Things always seem to be worse as changes happen.

How we miss how Crescent used to be - how we miss our former principal. Crescent Dance and its fallen standards of discipline and passion, two years on. (SYF will tell.) The glory our seniors brought to the school that we can't seem to follow.

This new temple described in the book of Haggai was considerably inferior and lacking in materials as compared to the old one - and a lot smaller. But God declared in Haggai 2:9, "The future glory of this Temple will be greater than its past glory".

What does it matter that the situation seems hopeless; the people don't seem qualified enough; we're so, so far away from reaching the standards of another team -
as long as God's on our side, what do we have to fear? God's intervention in any situation can make it legendary.

Oh and Passion AC (11 Feb) was greatttttt. A night of praise and worship. Found someone to jump along with me in praise - Chloe. It's great to sing praises to God with the 35ths.

Almost Lover

Your fingertips across my skin; the palm trees swaying in the wind -
We walked along a crowded street - you took my hand and danced with me. And when you left you kissed my lips. You told me you would never
forget these images.

Well I'd never want to see you unhappy; thought you'd want the same for me.

Goodbye, my almost lover, my hopeless dream - I'm trying not to think about you;
can't you just let me be?

Should've known you'd bring me heartache -
almost-lovers always do.

Feb 24, 2011

So what did you think I would say?

You asked me what happened to the me you once knew -
how about you, how about you, what happened to the you I once knew? You with that heart-melting silent concern and the funny randomness only you possess and your stupid jokes and the texts I wish I still had. And the notes. And the little things only I would remember. Very small insignificant things.

The you I once knew has died; now you're just a shadow of him. It's about time. I've moved on a huge lot. I remember the days I never thought I'd get out of that grave I had dug - with your shovel - I'm glad I'm out of that hole. But I also need to walk away.

I really like being your friend - your friend and nothing more. It's great to be able to talk generally freely and comfortably.

Valentine's day was great -
I think guys who give flowers are really sweet. Justin pulled out a red rose; Alex let me pick a really pretty bright-coloured gerbera; I told Seokhoon randomly that guys who gave flowers were really sweet, and he got me a pink gerbera. Jessica my OG kid gave me a rose.
Very sweet.

I came to school armed with 26 packets of cookies + sweets and cards (ref. to picture of Justin's card and cookies above), and received awesome little gifts - Hyun's socks for the PRians, Chloe's very amazing gifts and letters, Geraldine's cup, a cupcake from another OG kid (Michelle), Grace Caines' awesome poem and Nerds and Reese's, Grace Chan's cookies, Emme's photo, etc etc. Weiliang pumped up a balloon from the Council room that said 'You're 1 in a Million'. Colin tied a heart-shaped helium balloon around my neck (uh, okay).

(Love, me)

Feb 17, 2011

Guess you aren't ready

But I'm kinda sick of waiting

I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

Feb 14, 2011

So we'll never know

"I like you for the love in you, for your ideals and dedication in life."

That's a first... those tend to be my emotional downfall.

"Keep the flame of love in you burning, you'll be amazing."

Will blog about Valentine's sometime soon.

Feb 12, 2011

While the smurf sleeps

Nov 13-16: CCAAB camp
Nov 17: Nov Adventure planning with the Exco
Nov 18-20: Nov Adventure with Council
Nov 22-26: ELL internship at the library
Dec 1-7: Taiwan trip
Dec 7-17: Admin job at Health Promotion Board
Jan 3-7: OGL preparation stuff
Jan's school term: Orientation meetings & walk-in rehearsals & morning dance practices blah blah blah hardcore Orientation prep - AND ORIENTATION ITSELF WHOOOO
Feb 1: End of Orientation
Feb 2: Blue-slip day (Sentosa with the OGLs yay!)
Feb 3-6: CNY
Feb 9: Orientation post-mortem
Feb 10: MUTS
Feb 11: WUTS ushering
Feb 13: De-thorning of roses for Vday (Y), reunion dinner (shucks I just realised I don't have time to buy Vday gifts!!!!!)

...Where's the study time?

.............I love Council. It really should be considered a full-time job. I ought to get paid. With a schedule like that, you can't blame me for neglecting my studies a little, really. I do try. I do try.

Feb 6, 2011

Feelings can grow but they can go away too

I can't seem to tell if you're fiction or fact
Show me you can laugh; show me you can cry
Show me who you really are deep down inside

I feel something happenin'; could this be a spark?
To satisfy me, baby, gotta satisfy my heart

Do you know how to touch a girl?

Can you make me laugh?
I can't remember a time where you've actually really made me laugh.
Heck, can you make me smile?

I know what you're pretty good at - you can tick me off and maybe hurt me quite a bit. Not in that way, not like how he used to hurt me (unknowingly), but just....with the little things you say, I guess. They're completely harmless and there's nothing wrong with it. Maybe it's the different ways we look at and react to things - personality clashes. Other than that, though, you're quite a nice person.

He used to make me laugh. A lot. I remember giggling wildly at the tiniest joke - made hilarious to me because he said it.

Painted nails


The CNY break was awesome. Didn't do homework. In fact, I need to get started on GP right after this post to avoid getting a 0 for my graded assignment.

In between all the random dinners at relatives' and other random people's places, there was...

OG present-giving & hugging on Wednesday morning...
My OGL (/OG kid HAHA)!

Pauline on Wednesday night (along with a few other people)...

Abi's place with the 35ths on Friday...
MT, Matthew's fangirl.

(And okay I'm just going to do a Justin spam 'cos his smurfy face is so hilarious, but there are many more pictures on Facebook)
Bryan or Keith?

Shabu shabu lunch and pool with Aster, my 2011 orientation group on Saturday... (okay this is quite ironic because out of the 10 people who turned up, only 4 were actual J1s from Aster; 3 were the OGLs - Grace, Lee and me - and 3 were crashers.)...
(It was actually my first time playing pool. Halfway through we gave up playing properly and started camwhoring / trying to look cool.)

and foster siblings Pauline, Lee/Seokhoon (Yeah I just 'adopted' Lee yesterday during the OG outing) PLUS childhood friends Sarah and Sumay at my place today! Along with some of my parents' other NUS choir friends, including Sarah's and Sumay's parents.
Spammed Rock Band on the PS3; went crazy with Are You Gonna Be My Girl. Sumay'll probably upload the video of us screaming like idiots soon.

Had awesome fun this break.
Okay, time for GP.

Feb 4, 2011

I put my faith in you, so much faith

and then you just threw it away

I walk a lonely road; the only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes, but it's only me and I walk alone.

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating. Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me - till then I walk alone.

Oh no, didn't mean to sound all emo during the Chinese New Year period. I was just listening to Paramore and Green Day and I love their songs' lyrics.

I might have felt like that once upon a time. Maybe somewhere earlier in the year, I gave my heart and - all the pain and love it came with - to someone who preferred not to take notice. Maybe in Sec 4 I felt incredibly lonely. I had a few friends, but to them, I was a "last choice" - I was always reminded of that when I realised I didn't have anyone to ask out after the exams and stuff.

It was still like that a couple of times last year too; I remember the bouts of realisation that all my friends had other groups of friends they were closer to, and my devotion to them wasn't reciprocated.

But not anymore. These lyrics are really beautiful and I remember how it felt. To feel cheated of my faith and heart and hope. To feel like nobody cared.

But it isn't like that anymore. Light has been injected into my life, with the love of friends who truly care.

Feb 3, 2011

Four days - and passion for eternity

I'm trying my best not to spam this post with pictures. Derrick and Lianne have uploaded their Orientation photos, so...

I love Emme.
The OGLs' signal to Abi that our clan wants to do a reBUTtal. Previously we'd just call out to her and wave, but she wouldn't know what we were trying to tell her. She came up with the idea of pointing to our butts to call for rebuttals because it's an action people don't do often.

Check out their albums!

Who's got the beat, I say Mzonka's got the beat

Morgen's walk-in dance during the Campfire - less rehearsed than when it was done on the first day of Orientation itself, but you see their moves much more clearly in this video as compared to the that of their actual walk-in (it's all on YouTube!). Watch from 3:46 onwards. Epic. Val's and Josh's part from 2:20-2:40 is awesome too.

Watch it all on Youtube!!! Search 'shawnleecl'. He recorded everything from the balcony of the hall. Including the intro videos. Awesome. Skyfired101 even recorded our mass rally and mass & couple dance session on the last day and AC Boleh and our fireworks clap. Gets my heart pumping just watching it.

AC DANCE!!! I love this. Awesome girls dancing in heels. They did a pirouette. In heels.
They're awesome. I miss being a part of it, but I know quitting was the right decision to make, looking at my commitment to Council.