There are some things I'd rather not remember. They say memories make a man. I guess sometimes experiences teach you strong lessons the hard way. Sucks sometimes. Especially if you don't learn.
From the loneliness and extreme insecurity in Crescent and the random screw-ups along the way and the angst and the pain to realising trustworthiness is like diamond, beautiful yet rare: can you keep a secret? And all the little times we all feel like the sky's gonna come engulf us in our horrible confusion, a surge of overwhelming emotions you're sure will kill you.
I'm becoming incoherent.
Funny how my mind closes off at some things and refuses to go deeper. When I see something that triggers negative feelings, a memory of a situation that left me vexed or worried or disappointed, even - my mind refuses to take it in any more. It's like I'm walking through a forest in my mind, and each tree and plant and ant holds a memory. Suddenly I come across a pile of leaves. I step on it, only to find it's covering a trap, a deep hole in the ground. A sorrow-engulfing memory that once trapped me. I almost fall for it again but run away quickly before I fall into that pit of torment again, where I'd struggle to get out but find myself drowning in all that inner turmoil, that whirling confusion.
get yourself back here, I'm not done yet
While you're there all happy, with someone to remind you that you're the most beautiful person in the world in his eyes,
here I am.
pretty?
(you look me in the eye, but you aren't talking to me)
-
Thanks so much everyone for the wishes and hugs and awesome gifts and heartfelt letters by the way :)
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