May 23, 2011

The playful conversation starts


(because I really, really don't feel like studying for tomorrow's exam)


It reminds me of the way you used to smile at me. A lifetime ago.

I remember all the hurt I once went through, that crazy inner struggle. How you set my heart soaring before dropping it into yet another bottomless pit of confusion and screams. On a daily basis. It was extreme hurt only a couple of my friends saw in the way I lashed out at no one in particular, at my own heart, really, at my inability to break free. Kept trying to build my paper-thin walls of defence before you came along and tore them down again and again. I was a marionette; you, Rochester, controlled my puppet strings, with all that picking up and throwing away you did, throwing me around without realising.

"Yeah, what happened? You were so different"

You say I had changed. Me? I'm still me. What changed?


Anyway, it's a crazy pit I got myself out of, and I've no wish to look back and go anywhere close to drowning again. It's a horrible pit, unrequited love.

Now, no chains keep me bound to millenium-long months of pain. Freedom. Yet a different sort of pang arises.


Thank God for friends.

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