Roobz the noobz

Today I decided to go all out and really open up to a friend I'm not that close to in real life. We had been opening up quite a lot to each other already anyway, so I decided to tell all now. It would make a lot of things much easier too. And then, while I was typing out my lengthy emotional secret story and really letting myself open up...

he fell asleep.

HAHAHAHAHA. I'm glad that we had the conversation we had while we were still awake though. It's just that whatever I typed out at the last part while he was sleeping were the bits that I've always kept to myself until now - little things I never thought I'd let anyone know about (I guess that's because I let myself go a lot more when I'm writing; when I'm talking I can restrain myself much better) - and now I'm feeling really insecure about all that.

It's like, when a friend responds to something and that section of the matter has been talked about, that bit gets locked away somewhere secure, like the corners of our minds, never to be exposed to the poisonous acidic outside air again. But when the friend hasn't responded and whatever I've said is still waiting for a resolution, it's left hanging out in the open, where it's left vulnerable to the eyes and gossiping mouths of the world.

I know I'm paranoid. You can't blame me, okay? It's about a matter I'm holding rather dearly to my heart.

And the tall small boy is already asleep. R, it's your fault if I'm too jittery to sleep tonight!