Jul 9, 2009

I don't know where we're headed

I'm sorry for making you feel like that. I'm sorry I'm unsure of my own answer. I need you, but I can't say I need you every minute of the day without lying. I love you, but I don't know why. Maybe it's just dependency. Maybe I've become so dependent on you that it isn't love anymore, it's being used to having you there, just there. I don't know. I hate thinking about it, and you made me think about it again. Then I'll get emo, and you'll get emo, and we'll just fight all over again, tears, blood, screaming, threats and all.

But I know I hate it when you're sad/angry because you do things you know I hate. I hate having to worry myself sick, thinking "if I say this how would you react?" "Are you feeling okay now? I really hope you don't hurt herself" "I shouldn't tell you this, you'll start getting emo"

I want to tell you stuff, but when I do, you just start getting emo and when you get emo, I get really worried, whether you do anything to yourself or not.

Get the picture yet? It isn't life that's killing you; it's me.

Before you say anything, please shut up about the breaking up shit. I've told you before, if you don't mean it don't say it, and I get very irritated when you say it.

And you know, when you say something like that, I don't like it, because I don't know how to reply you and I know all I'll do is make you cry again.

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