May 2, 2009

I'm watching service online now

Sometimes I tell myself that maybe not having this ability is a good thing, or not having it yet is a good thing. Maybe waiting is good, maybe waiting is His plan for me. 
Jessie once told me that He has a different plan for everyone, and maybe I'm not like everyone else, maybe I'm special. Waiting would help me grow stronger, and I would appreciate the gift much more when it comes. And most of the time this helps me get through my sadness, that little bit of hope I have. 
I have faith in Him, and I know he will give this gift to me if/when he feels I'm ready for it, because He knows best. He knows all about me, including the things I don't know. I shouldn't rush for this, because I'm only... me. I don't know anything about what my future will be like, but God's got a whole plan ahead of me.

At other times, I really want this, because I want to be able to pray better, I want to be closer to Him, to know that He hears every single prayer I pray. This gift is a miracle, and each time it's used it's proof that miracles happen through God. Do you guys feel the miracle of God working through you each time you pray in this gift?
Sometimes I feel really strong about something, and I want to pray and express my desperation, but sometimes it doesn't seem enough. Sometimes I wish I could pray in such a way that He knows how desperate I truly am, how hungry I truly am for Him. Human language is limited. The perfect language isn't, and this perfect language is not restricted.
Actually I believe that it's never really defined, but the way you speak it depends on who you are, on your spirit, because we're all different. I listen, and I've realised that every one of you speak it differently and in your own unique way, which is very interesting to discover. It's not a defined language. It's your own. Each one of you speak it differently; it's God's language to you and you only. It's proof He knows you; it's proof He hears you; it's proof He listens.

'Till that time comes for me, I will wait patiently and continue to seek Him.

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