If God gives Satan and humans free will, and Satan controls, aren't we totally controlled by the devil?

This

is peace.

I wanted to blog about my confusion, my dilemma, the swirl of extreme emotions in my heart but I've decided not to, because it'd be like re-enforcing these negative feelings inside me which would cause them to be stronger?

Anyway,

Satan... is scary. I'm afraid one day I'd let him in accidentally.

Then again, I probably already have let the spirit of a devil inside me, just like any other normal person who sinned and happens to be feeling down.

Of course I want the devil out. The one who's causing me to doubt God, the one willing me to sin. Now, how to I get the devil out if I don't even know what it is and how it works?

Sing Praise songs, pray in Tongues more? It does give me temporary comfort, some peace if I'm lucky, but that doesn't really solve the problem.

When the Rev was preaching in the Jurong West CHC, someone suddenly got really scared and wanted to run, but when she was forced by her friend to sit down throughout the rest of the service she suddenly got really frightened and couldn't stop screaming. The Rev prayed for her, and she was okay after that.

Jt and Janice experienced that too, the "devil" "coming" out of them. Getting slain, screaming uncontrollably for no reason.. no, I can say I'm not ready for things like these. I don't know if I ever will. You know, being a Christian doesn't mean you have to witness/do things like these. There are so many different kinds of faith.

Yes, the devil is scary. The devil is in a lot of people, normal people, Christians, everyone alike. It's just a matter of who he's stronger in, who's weaker emotionally so he can attack more.

If you're already down, and the devil gets into you, and he controls your thoughts,

and at the same time, God's there but he doesn't force what he wants you to do unto you,

doesn't Satan reign in the end?

Oh no, I've just blogged it.

I have a terrible confession to make.

I chanced upon a picture of a demon-possessed girl in the movie The Exorcist and it's fucking scary.

I'm sorry Jason, I'm sorry God, I promised I wouldn't swear like that anymore, but I am

freaked out.

Just as I'm thinking about how fucking scary it is to have a demonic spirit inside you.

HELP. I'M EFFING FREAKED OUT!!!!!!!!!!