People think like oh Christians oh the cross oh so righteous and holy they got their ticket to heaven they're trying to be good kids etc. But the Church is truly a place for broken people. It's a hospital. I love God because I have seen how the state of my soul drags me to the depths of ruin, of despair, with a multitude of things that glisten and seem to promise happiness but never, never do. I am sick, and the Lord heals me. I am a wreck, and He drags me out of the depths daily. My soul leads me to trivial pleasures and I cling to them like as if they give me meaning, and I am always left on the ground, in a puddle, crying, hopeless, wrecked. God saves me from myself. God knows that I will never be able to find meaning on my own, so He takes me by the hand. He gives my heart the energy it needs to keep going. Every day I see the darkness. I am a very emotional person, and I am often reminded of how easy it is for me to fall down the endless pit again. Every day I am reminded of what I would be without Him, and it is a very, very scary thing. My soul would have turned black years ago in my endless search for satisfaction. I cling to God because it is all I can do.
I have Bible verses all over my room and spiritual reminders everywhere and a cross round my neck and a cross on my wrist not because I want to look super holy, but because I am so weak and forgetful that I need reminders everywhere. I wish these verses and reminders were imprinted deeply in my spirit, such that no one would need to see it but they're always there for me, but that isn't the case. I am simply too spiritually forgetful. And this world is brutal. God created all the beautiful pleasures, and the world invites you to turn these pleasures into God. There is only One who gives a peace that is unlike what the world gives.