May 23, 2013

"So how've you been doing?"

When I answer (genuinely) that I've been doing great, it's a good thing because it means my situations are positive and I haven't been thinking or feeling. When I answer that I don't know, it's better. It means something might have the capacity to drag me down a well, but I'm numb to it at the moment. I don't know what it is, and my mind's not looking for it. Enough inner self-restraint to keep me from harm. When I say I don't know, I'm usually looking at my day and my thoughts and feelings and wondering what I've actually been feeling at all. When it's nothing, it's usually the safest, and I'm grateful that a day went wasted instead of getting caught in that spiralling darkness of the pointlessness of life.

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