Apr 10, 2013

Just take the freaking wheel

What do you do when the slightest bit of the pain you know so well starts creeping its way into you again? What do you do when you see all towers crumble and you wonder what's right? What happens when the walls you've so carefully built are starting to crack, and the water is threatening to barge in and take over one more time? Meaningless, stupid pain, like you haven't learnt. What do you do when you see the others start to drown as their walls begin to crack too, and you want to cry out what about me? If we work together we can fix this, but you know that it will not fix, that two will just fill the space and burst the walls.

And you cry oh Lord oh Lord just sever my heart, sever my heart from the pain of giving a friend the love they'll never give back, of having opened my heart too readily, here I've poured my heart out all over the kitchen table like a carton of milk and I can try to clean it up but it will never fully go away. The ache of the milk spilled all too soon still remains, and I thought they would hold the cup at the other end, but they weren't ready. They didn't receive what I poured out, and now I'm empty, cold, and they don't get it.

I'm as incoherent and all over the place as an echoey indie song. Heart like the psychedelic mess of colour and swirls all eating itself into black. Help me. Just take it all away, take away this too much of a heart.

No comments: