May 4, 2012

do you believe in life after love part two

'I can see myself in your eyes,' you said with fascination at staircase number one in the afternoon. 'That's number five,' you said as I kissed your cheek on the thirty-ninth floor at number two. You'd been counting. At number three, your legs hurt but you refused to let me move. Number four was the last time I hugged you before we said goodbye three months later. Three.

'I can see myself in your eyes'. That has a double meaning.

'That's twice today,' you said at the thirty-ninth floor. Was two a bad thing? Was it bad to drown in excess? Did I drown you in excess? Did I drown in excess?

Whenever there isn't much to be done in the restaurant, you come like a flood back into my mind - that's why I like to be kept busy. I dream that you're back and you say the things that I don't want to yet want to yet cannot hear, and I say no, but I'm thinking yes... yes.

What does it mean when the images engulf me and take my heart all over again? Take it again, and I come plunging down, like I had never tried to crawl out of that hole.

Yes, just keep running away like you've been doing all your life. This was never meant to be right; it hurt too much, for the both of us, to be right - although now I only remember the times heaven came down upon us. Maybe running away is the right thing to do. Maybe it's time I started running away too.

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