Jan 7, 2012

and lonelier than ever

As she walks in she's greeted by darkness and smoke and rapidly flashing green lights all around and deafening music whose beats pulsate through her skin, throbbing. Her pals drag her along and demand 'the strongest one' and she goes through the routine, three rounds of bitter fire. Before she knows it she is the song itself, it fills her head, the beat is all she knows, all she knows. She's cursing some guy's name, she can't remember who or why but it feels good just to curse it over and over again, laughter mixed with angry shouts. Soon she's light and happy like there's helium all around.

She knows everyone here, yet knows no one, only that crazy beat. It takes a while before she realises that she's in the arms of a superstar, and all she wants is to say did you know i love you? Suddenly as his hand slides down her back she feels the tingles all over and she needs, she needs to feel his body against hers, the warmth she knows. She presses hard against him and it's all that resounds in her head, the music and the friction, her superstar boy. That look he gives her just as their lips meet, like a signal, it gets her crazy. His hand's under her skirt, picking at her underwear -

suddenly it flashes through her mind. Him. That pudgy-nosed guy with one slightly chipped tooth and soft features, that soft smile, that soft gaze. There's something about imperfection that's so beautiful. Suddenly she remembers why she was cursing his name.

She draws away abruptly. Her heart grows cold. This stranger can't give her what she needs. You can't find love in a club. The physical touch is only a poor disguise; the mask falls off too soon and by the time you realise it's not what you were looking for it's too late. The next day you'll realise what was taken from you and the loneliness coulds you over again.


She needs to escape this monster that threatens to eat her up again but it catches up as soon as she falls to the ground that still threatens to tip her over. She feels the monster tackle her like a powerful force and reach right into her body to wrench out her heart. He leaves it on the floor beside her, covered in blood and tears.

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