Sep 26, 2011

Don't forget to look before you fall

(she gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind)

In loneliness the insulating walls give way again; the little candle I keep in my heart in the day spreads its fire to the rest of my body to burn.

Why did we let this happen? I was on my way to healing just fine; my friends helped me stitch up my wounds and the marks were on their way to fading. You didn't have to tear them open again and expose my raw flesh. Blood. You did give me the option of walking away, you did say I had the right to say no because you didn't deserve this after all my pain. I said I wasn't strong enough to walk away from something I had wanted all along. 

All these wonderful memories and you chuck them out the window with a two-word phrase. I don't know how you do it, but I sure hope you're studying really, really, really hard, because I'm not studying at all. I've lost any ounce of drive.

Being in school hurts too much; I return home as soon as I can, loneliness brings hurt too but it's better than school. So I sleep. I've been sleeping a lot. Before I sleep I recall happy memories and pretend I still feel secure.

Baby what happened? Please tell me, 'cause one second it was perfect now you're halfway out the door -

And I stare at the phone and he still hasn't called, and then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all

And it rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong; it rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone

Was I out of line? Did I way something way too honest that made you run and hide, like a scared little boy? I looked into your eyes, thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure

So here's to everything, coming down to nothing; here's to silence that cuts me to the core. Where is this going? Thought I knew for a minute but I don't anymore

Back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything?

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