I hope I'll be strong enough to endure this

Guin's right. This whole month will be one long, painful journey, and I'll be spending the days blasting fast Korean songs like Gee and Heartbreaker and Amigo and forcing myself not to think about how I screwed the paper, and move on.

English was okay, actually, but the bad parts of something always leave a more lasting effect than the good ones, so it seems disastrous to me.

I did Q3 for Compo - Write about an occasion when an attempt to help led to unexpected consequences for the helper. My compo was 5 pages long man.

I wrote about how I was part of the most popular clique (and the "leader" was Kylie, some rich bitch) and this girl, Kylie, went to bully a short fat plain girl called Linda, who I knew from preschool but always came across to me as a terribly shy and friendless person. So on my way home on the day Kylie bullied Linda I happened to see Linda and talked to her a little in an attempt to make her feel better, but Linda ended up making me think a lot about something instead.

We were on the beach near my house watching the sun set together and Linda asked me why I bothered befriending Kylie, and all I could say was "She's cool". Then she asked what my passion and purpose in life was and I was stumped. All I knew was that Kylie was some popular girl and everyone was dying to be her friend and I was one. And I asked Linda about her own passion and why she was so quiet, and she said that she actually loved ballet even though she was fat. (Who watched the So You Think You Can Dance auditions? This damn fat girl was an amazing dancer.)

So yeah she made me think about my purpose in life and everything and as the days passed and I thought more about things, Kylie was beginning to find me less interesting. Then one day I just decided to leave the group and befriend Linda, and spend the days trying to find my passion and goal in life, instead of just wandering around life aimlessly and going with the flow.

Functional writing - 3 pages long. I don't know if it's Formal or Informal but Rupa says they'll probably just read from "Dear Past Pupil" onwards because the question said that we should begin our letter that way. I also didn't talk about the other 2 options but I don't see a need to because my task is to invite the alumni to a play to commemorate the Principal's retirement (my choice of event), so why should we have to talk about the other options considered?

Compre - I rewrote half of it three times and I copied all my answers onto the question paper so that perhaps I'd be able to get Mrs Rupa to check them later on, but at a high price:

Summary - I DIDN'T FINISH MY SUMMARY.

I'm really ****ed up about that now. I wrote all the unimportant points and the points that I know are strong ones were at the end and I didn't write those. In the end I just handed up my draft together with my incomplete summary. I hope I put the draft at the back - I was freaking out so much and my hands were shaking so badly that I'm not sure if I put it at the back or not.

Thank you Amanda for the hug, and thank you so much Guin for encouraging me; without you I don't think I would have made it past today. Love you to death Guin.

E Math tomorrow.

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill.

Pray for me.