Jan 9, 2009

NOOOOO

Why why why why why is everyone saying I'm ah lian! D:

Okay lah, I always stamp my foot and whine "Jeh- seeeeeeeeeeee" to Jessie but that's because she called me ah lian, so that doesn't count! Why am I ah lian! Someone please tell me!

Like..

1) I can speak good English. I mean I normally don't, but I CAN when I want to! And my grammar not bad one okay! (Ignore the grammar errors in that sentence.) I mean I love Singlish but when I have to, I can speak proper English (I feel the urge to add a "LOR!" because I'm, like, arguing now and when I'm agitated I couldn't care less about making my sentences proper, please lah who shouts in completely proper English when they're very pissed? Even Jessie doesn't!) And and uh this is a pathetic point but I was one of the top twenty finalists in the Budding Writers contest in p5 okay! (The one that some Crescentian got 2nd place for. Yeah it was the first time I saw a Crescentian! :O) I mean I'm not saying my English is perfect but it's DEFINITELY FAR BETTER THAN AH LIANS' OKAY! Okay I'm stereotyping. URGH WHATEWER! (The second W was on purpose. I'm imitating Cuixiao)

2) I don't use hokkien vulgarities (much). I don't even understand most Hokkien vulgarities!!!!!! I mean I know cheebai and wah lao but I don't understand all the others. Well uh I was taught a few more today after I admitted that I didn't understand most Hokkien vulgarities. BUT I don't even use Hokkien vulgarities okay!

3) I can't speak Chinese for nuts. I try, I do, because I need to do better for my Oral. MY GOODNESS! When Zhuhaibin asked me about my opinions regarding the F1 race being held in Singapore I wanted to say it would help boost our economy because a lot of tourists would come to Singapore but I couldn't say "economy" and "rise" and in the end I said "Uh 因为会有很多游客来到新加坡,所以新加坡会赚很多钱" and I wanted to say so much more but didn't know how to and so I kept talking about tourists and he was giving me this blur look the whole time, I wanted to yank a paper bag over his face so I wouldn't see that look he was giving me! D: Oh and the stupid Miao Shou Tie Chu thing, "But I can't speak Chinese!" HAHAHA, and they showed me being interviewed on TV but they muted my voice HAHAHA

4) I don't buy cheap disgusting-looking clothes! Apart from the checkered dress. Yah I know. It's also the cheapest piece of clothing I own in my cupboard. And it's not even like I wanted it, I only got it because some girl wanted to do a swap with my mascara and I couldn't find anything nice but I really wanted to get rid of my mascara. And I would totally refuse to own any of the $10 fake NUM Little Miss tees / $10 fake Heinekein tees / NF skinnies / cheap stuff that (try to) look classy / all the fake NUM stuff (which is quite sad cos they're really nice but the fakes make NUM look terrible) $8 SLOGAN tees zomg. I mean, I'm not saying the tees look ah lian. Well they do, but it's because all the ah lians wear them because everyone they know wears them and must be the fake one somemore because it's cheap and everyone would know you've got cheap stuff and thus you're richer than them because you save more money. (According to a once-ah lian, that's the logic) And then everyone wears them and the fact that they're NOT EVEN AUTHENTIC AND THEY'RE PROUD OF IT is just plain absurd. And the font on most of the slogan tees look terrible.
PLUS SOME OF THE SLOGAN TEES HAVE BAD ENGLISH! E.g. "Tell me again why I need a boyfriends", "Every tears there is a story behind it" (WTF?!) "One man food can be another poison" (HAHAHAHAHA) and TOTALLY weird phrases e.g. "The truth is... I can't stop thinking about you" (huh?!) Ok for examples of slogan tees, check THIS out.
(If the blogshop owner chances upon this, I have nothing against you, really! It's not your fault the slogan tees suck. I mean, I know you're just trying to earn money and everything, so you're selling the things you think people would buy so you'd earn more money, I understand, I just hate slogan tees. But I've nothing against you or your blogshop)

4) I don't have rebonded hair! Well I'm not saying everyone who has rebonded hair is ah lian. Of course not! Like, Nadine's got rebonded hair but she's so ang moh. I mean most ah lians have rebonded hair. Well either that, or curled hair from the hair iron curler/straightener thingy. Well I don't have rebonded hair mainly because (a) I have a long face so it'd make my face look longer and I'd look like a freak, and (b) my mother would kill me first. But.. STILL! Hahaha.


Jessie thinks I'm damn cheena because I like to listen to Chinese music and I go to OB and I speak Singlish and I have an Ah Lian face.
My rebuts:

1) I CAN'T HELP MY FACE!!! And anyway, my face is not an ah lian face because ah lians look very pretty. Those who are damn ugly but dress like ah lians are ah lian wannabes. (NO NO NO I'M NOT AN AH LIAN WANNABE)

2) I like to listen to Chinese music but so?! It's better than liking... English techno. WAY BETTER okay. Sorry Sumay but I detest techno and I think it's like very cheapskate because it's like, some random person takes a piece of music composed and sung by someone else, adds a few weird beats and makes the singer's voice sound robotic and shitty, and then releases the music in a CD and expects people to actually pay for it. UHHHH... Oh and I totally cannot stand slow songs being techno-lised, because usually the songs are emotional and the person would have injected a lot of emotions into his/her song, and the feelings and emotions are completely lost in the technolisation of the song and it becomes damn disgusting. Ok. I just have something against techno.
I like Chinese music because the Chinese language is so much more expressive than English. Chinese is a romantic, expressive language. Each word contains a beautiful meaning in itself, and a sweet phrase sounds so much sweeter than in English. And the songs are so much more beautiful, in my opinion. There are great English songs too of course, but I feel most of the time it's the Chinese songs that have more emotions, that touch me more. Oh and the American celebs all damn screwed corrupted lives one. Maybe I'd like British bands. (Hint to Binkai to force more Brit band songs down my throat)
OH AND BECAUSE THERE'S JJ HAHAHA.

3) YOU WANT ME TO GO TO NAFA AH!?!?! OR LA SALLE FOR PROFESSIONAL SINGING HAHA! THEN I GO BECOME SOME OPERA SINGER UH! And OB's my dream. *sticks out tongue*

4) But I can speak good English also! Just that Singlish usually helps convey my message better because of the tone of voice and the choice of Singlish words used (lah, lor, wapiang, etc)



Woah this post is damn long.

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