Fuck

Threw up for the first time since primary school today.

There's no toilets on my block (Block F)? Not on my floor anyway. So I rushed up the bloody Routunda to the E block. Had no time to even go into the toilet cubicle, so I threw up in the sink, which was a bloody stupid mistake because I clogged the sink up and the stuff wouldn't go down. I puked my wanton mee lunch and the pills Azalea gave me and soup and HCl. Was damn disgusting. A few Sec 3s who were there offered to help me tell my teacher. V sweet (:

Sad because it happened just before the O's results were released and I wanted to go watch but couldn't.

Thank you Cuixiao, Chenting, Teryne, Chrisvencia, Huiqi, and especially Kelly and JENNA. 

Kelly comforted me and brought me my bottle and her packet of tissues, and Jenna stayed with me in the Sick Bay for a whole 1hr 15min while the O's results were being released. Love you guysssssss!

Congrats Binkai & Guin (both of them got 8 points!), Cynthia (7A1s and 1A2!!!!!), Willie, Saunders and Maddie! (although I don't know your results yet) And all my other Dance seniors too, I'm sure you guys did really well (cos Dancers are smart :D)

Was reading blogs and I feel super terrible now.

SUPER TERRIBLE. IS IT ME AGAIN? IS IT ME, AGAIN? NO IT MAY NOT BE ME, BUT IT'S US, AND I CAN'T BEAR TO SEE US FALL , BECAUSE I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO FUCKING MUCH BUT I GUESS IT'S ONLY ME.

WHY THE FUCK DID I LET MYSELF HAVE FRIENDS ANYWAY?

CUT THE SHIT ABOUT BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE AND I'M ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU COS IT'S SO FAKE.

AND TO YOU, I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY STUFF THEY DON'T MEAN. I JUST HOPE YOU REALLY GENUINELY STILL ACCEPT ME AS A FRIEND. IF YOU DON'T, I'M SORRY, BUT AT LEAST TELL ME, DON'T GO TELL EVERYONE ELSE AND EXPECT ME TO KNOW.

AND TO YOU, AREN'T WE ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE FOR ONE ANOTHER? NO SECRETS BETWEEN US? THEN WHAT'S THIS?! YOU SAY WE MEAN THE MOST TO YOU. BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN BE FUCKING BOTHERED TO ___. IT'S OBVIOUS WE HARDLY MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU. STOP GETTING MY HOPES UP, STOP MAKING ME BELIEVE IN FALSE HOPE. 

what's this? does anyone understand?