):

I've got almost 8GB worth of pictures from Japan, no space in my comp to upload them all.

Too lazy to post pics up anytime yet!

My holidays were quite okay, and then when I went back to school today, I suddenly felt so.. lonely, so trapped, I felt like running away. Even when I had people to talk to. It was suffocating, I don't know why. I had to force every smile, every laugh. I wanted to be genuinely happy, I really did, but that heaviness in my heart made it impossible. I felt like hiding in a corner and turning my mp3 on to full blast. Or running away to some random playground, or whatever. I felt so much tension somehow, like as if someone beside me was hating me , or bitching about me. I felt like I didn't belong here at all. Oh no, this place is only for smart, pretty, rich, popular, sociable people; there's no place for a naive, stupid loser like me.

And now I realise I always feel like that in school. The first few months of school always start with this terrible outcast feeling, even if I've got great friends. (Maybe I've got a phobia of being with a lot of people. It's highly probable.)

Then after a long while, it seems okay, because I get used to the feeling I guess. But I still avoid having to be around big groups of people , having to socialise. I feel bad when someone pities me and comes over to talk to me, because I'm such a boring ass and she could be laughing and joking around with her own friends, those who actually know how to have fun. (I'm sorry Joce.)

Then the holidays come and I forget all about it. Then school starts and the cycle repeats itself.

But usually S2a makes me feel very loved and welcome somehow, Idk why. Probably because we're very bonded. Thanks you guys x3

I hate life.

 Aww, J4M, let's quickly become professional artists so we can quit school like By2 and get private tutoring together ):