I feel like crying but I've got a facial mask on.

I'm typing this as you're getting your head stitched up.

You don't know how wrong you are.

Don't you realise that every time we quarrel it's because of me? It's always because you care about me and then I find you unreasonable and irritating. But everytime we argue it's because you're concerned about me.

We've been arguing about the blogshop ever since it started. I don't run the blogshop because I want to earn money; it's a pathetic way to earn money please. I'm running it because I enjoy doing it. Plus you can get stuff you want at cost price and you earn money for buying stuff you want instead of paying other people money. Right?

I know you hate meeting up with people and I try very hard not to make you do meetups. If you haven't realised you haven't met any customers for a very very long time already. 

As for the transferring of money, I really wish I could do it because there are ATM machines at Cheers near Crescent, Redhill MRT, Boonlay MRT, Jurong Point & Pioneer mall so it's really convenient for me to transfer money whenever we have to, but we both know why I can't do it. But I'll find a way. I'll just hide the card or something. During the holidays I can keep the card until I go to Japan. It'll be easier plus you won't have to leave the house, and I don't mind being in charge of the money, seriously.

I've already realised a very very long time ago that we're very different. Our families are very different and our values clash as well. I care a lot about being considerate to the public and giving others a good image whereas you couldn't care less. You want me to study really hard but I've never really mugged at all my whole life. We were brought up very differently from the start and we like different things. I know this is a lame example but the flavours of bubble tea we like clash completely, but we do give in to each other a lot. When you said you wanted to live with me because you couldn't stand your mother, the first thing I thought was "so if your mother was nicer to you you wouldn't want to live with me?" It was like as if you treated me like an escape plan or something. I really had the urge to retort "Go live with jessie lah, there's nicer food at her house" but then you started playing the piano because you weren't talking to me then I just got damn pissed and hung up.

The only common thing between us is music I guess. Music's how we got to know each other, how we got closer and how we got together as a couple. It's also the reason we're still together.

But I'm sorry for everything I did. If I were you I'd be hurt and jealous too, it's not just you and it's not because you suck or anything. I'm sorry I'm such a bitch, I know. You cab all the way here to look for me and I end up talking to my other friends the whole time I'm with you. There are a lot of examples but I'm too tired to list them; main point is I do understand why you're so hurt because of me and I'm really sorry and I'll try to do it less.

Different as we are, I still really love you a lot. We'll learn to give in to each other more and try to hurt each other less. I'll do anything to keep this relationship alive because I can't survive without you.

And if we live together we'll probably fight a hell lot over the choosing of furniture.

But before that I must make one thing clear:

Bed MUST be like not a high one, very very low like my parent's bed which is just a huge mattress. And the floor must be made of wood like my house's. Can put carpet also. No arguing I don't care. This will ensure that if you EVER fall off the bed again from crying so much, you won't hit your head so badly that you start bleeding like fuck again.