I don't know why I even fucking bother about you

Sometimes I wish I knew what it was like to feel really really hurt.
To not want to eat or sleep or study because I’m too tired and crying’s all I want to do.
To feel so much pain that only dying could ease it.
To lie on my bed and scream and cry and cry and cry for hours because I can’t do anything else.

Then maybe I’d understand you more.

It hurts when you cry like that, it hurts when you cry so much you start screaming.
It hurts when you’ve got a sore throat because you’ve been crying for the past four and a half hours.
It hurts when I know it’s all because of me and although I’m the closest person to you I can’t do anything to stop your tears from flowing.

It hurts when I get angry at you and deliberately say things I don't mean that hurt you so much more than I'd wanted it to.
It hurts when you don’t know how much I love you.

I wish I knew how you feel.