lingling: HONHON!

and i just started daydreaming.

somehow i just started thinking about the night we left for japan, 27-11-07. the little things you and i said to each other. they were the smallest memories ever, things we said to each other, things i thought i’d have forgotten by now, and i probably would have forgotten had i not thought of them again today.

the first time i went to oasis cafe, when we went to suntec together. as we ran down the spoilt escalators holding hands, we were blocked by someone walking really slowly. it would have been much easier to let go of each other and go down in single file, but you wouldn’t let it happen. and when we finally reached the bottom of the escalator, panting and grinning, you reassured me, “我绝对不会放手的!”
small, very simple memories, nothing particularly interesting or catching.
years later, when i look back at these months and laugh at the fond days we spent together, realising how foolish this innocent infatuation was, will i still remember all the little things we did - the smaller, fainter memories, not as fascinating compared to the other times we had but with the same warm feeling of love?

-

lingling, amelia and i usually take the mrt home together after dance practices; it’s unbelievable, the greatest memories i have of my sec 2 life took place there.
memories of ling saying random stupid stuff while amelia rolled her eyes sarcastically, of ling and i shouting “BYE CHENGCHENG!” as amelia got off at dover, of ling and i laughing whenever amelia lost her balance, of me pouring out my feelings to ling in the packed train, and realising that these were the best friends i could ever get.
and on the train after the last dance practice of the 2007 school year, amelia announced, “i don’t care. next year even though we’re all split up into different classes, we must still take the train home together okay.” :)
years later, when i’ve left crescent and miss dance, and the special bond the 2c1’07 dancers shared, will i still remember the little times like this – times we were random, times we laughed, times we received glares from fellow commuters because we laughed too loudly?

and as i sat there daydreaming, the chinese dance warm up music was playing as Group 2 did their warmup, and shermin was playing with amelia’s hand, making it do retarded movements like waving or boxing in the air, and stroked amelia’s cheeks and told her how smooth they were while amelia showed her the diao face, telling shermin how mental she was.
will i ever remember this simple memory?
will i ever remember today, when i recalled all these memories – so simple yet precious to me?

so many thoughts and feelings i’d love to express – my deepest emotions, what’s going on in my mind, but noone to tell all this to now.

i feel so alone, and i need someone here. someone i can pour everything out to.