because it's really too cute i can't even
God: Jonah, arise and go to Nineveh and cry out against it, for their wickedness has come up before Me!!!!!
Jonah: WA JIALAT RUN
Jonah: *runs* *finds a ship* *buys a ticket* ok bye
God: *sends a storm*
Sailors: OMG WE'RE GOING TO DIE JONAH WHAT DID YOU DO
Jonah: Ummmm I tried to run away from God
Sailors: WHAT THE WHY YOU PUT OUR LIVES IN DANGER!! Ok you better not cause us all to die cos we innocent
Jonah: Ok throw me overboard
Sailors: ...huh...no la bro...ok we try to go to shore
Sailors: Aye cannot, wind too strong. Sorry Jonah bye
Sailors: WAH THIS GOD IS REAL thank you God
Jonah: WOW God u saved me i’m surviving in a whale thank you God ok ok i’ll go to nineveh
Jonah: *goes to Nineveh* YET FORTY DAYS, AND NINEVEH SHALL BE OVERTHROWN!!!
King of Nineveh: *takes off robes, sits in ashes* STOP EATING AND START REPENTING! Maybe God will change his mind
God: Mm very good ok I’ll spare y'all
Jonah: WALAO now they think I’m lying!!!! AIYO GOD JUST KILL ME
God: Is it right for you to be angry?
Jonah: *sulks* *goes to a place to sit and see if the city crumbles* walao damn hot
God: *makes Jonah a plant for shelter*
Jonah: Ahh thank you God
God: *makes plant die*
God: Is it right for you to be angry that the plant died?
Jonah: YA DAMN ANGRY
God: So shouldn’t I also pity Nineveh and spare it from destruction? 120,000 people who can’t tell the difference between their right and left hand