Jun 29, 2015


I'm here to recount a conversation I had a while ago that is very relevant today. Posted with permission.

She told me about her new boyfriend; they'd been together for a few weeks. I noticed the happiness in her voice. I was little taken aback, since the last time we talked about relationships she told me about how she had many other more important things to focus on right now, etc., but it didn't matter. She seemed happy, so I was glad for her. I was grateful that she had told me something personal, and I wanted to offer something in reciprocation. I felt prompted to talk about my first relationship somehow, but it was a dangerous thing to say. You can't just talk about something like that to anyone. She might be weirded out, she might see me differently, she might become guarded. I struggled with the dilemma for a few minutes.

"My first relationship was with a girl, but that ended and I'm straight, so whatever." Shrugged, like it was something to shrug about.

"Huh? Really?" She seemed taken aback, but more out of fascination than in a negative way.


"Can I tell you something? My boyfriend is...a girl also. I just call her a he so that people won't say like 'eee, you're lesbian'. I'm afraid of what people will think."

Something tugged at my heart. I knew that this moment right here was God-planned. He was the one who had drawn up this friendship; it was so clear now.

She had never been in a relationship with a girl before, but although this was different, it was no less real. Her 'boyfriend' gave her the strength to face the problems in her family and brought her happiness.  She had liked her for quite a while now. I understood exactly how she felt. People can say all they want about 'unnatural' love, but it feels as real as any other. Emotions don't always discriminate, and love is love.

She told me that she was also beginning to feel really guilty towards God, like she was no longer worthy of being His child. For two weeks now, she would go to church on Sunday morning, and sit outside the chapel until the service was over. She didn't feel worthy of being let in. At this point I felt like God had orchestrated our entire friendship for this moment, like I was, right now, acting as God's messenger to her.

My first relationship lasted slightly under a year and nine months. God came into my life halfway through it. He didn't refuse to let me into His house; with open arms, He filled me with His overwhelming love, until I wanted nothing more than to pursue Him. As I was moved to tears at every church session, as I fasted and read the Bible and prayed and questioned and received, all other things in my life simply dimmed themselves out of existence.

"God has already forgiven you, and nothing can come between God's love for you," I said with urgency, with firmness. "See, I do things that make my dad angry sometimes, but he would never want me to stop talking to him altogether. Isn't it the same for our Father? He already knew everything about your life before you were born, and still loved you enough to create you, to die so that you could freely come to Him. And now you think you are unworthy of His love?"

None of us are worth God's love. The fact that we are unworthy is the reason He had to die to pay the price of our sins. God died to make us worthy, to bail us out. And since all - ALL - our sins have been paid for, nothing can separate us from God anymore.

"Please, don't stop talking to God. It breaks His heart more that you're not talking to Him. He knows, and it's okay, nothing you do will make Him love you more or less." There were tears in her eyes. She nodded, silent. I prayed so hard for her that night, that God would continue to show her that nothing, nothing, could stop her from being His daughter. And slowly, as God's love grew in her life to become the Greatest Love, all other loves would submit to it, and stand or fall in its presence.

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Rom 8:38-39

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