Today we had an NUS UTown VCF (Varsity Christian Fellowship) praise and worship gathering. I felt pretty awkward initially since I barely knew anyone other than the few Yale-NUS people there... the seminar room filled up... but when praise and worship started, man, it was fantastic. And seamless - the sound system worked perfectly. (Neil Chan led the bulk of it - hey hey hey! But it was nothing about him and who he was at all. He was a mere servant, a fellow lover of God and worshipper, one leading us all in articulating our dedication, and his honed talents were God's tools.)
The professionalism, the seamless transitions and unbroken flow of worship. God's presence, and the love of the people, were so tangible. What distinguishes an average dull gathering of Christians from a powerful session is simply God's presence. The best thing about it was that I felt so free in my worship. The lights were off and we were standing, and I felt free to express my love for God in my own way. Some hands were raised, some weren't; some stood a little further away to give themselves more space; some eyes were wiped; voices were loud in song. I could lift my hands if I wanted, I could stretch them all the way, it didn't matter at all. And I was reminded of the NUS VCF camp in December '12, and how much I loved the praise and worship there too. Not overly intense, and not rigid; comfortable simply because it gave you the freedom to worship as you wanted.
And that's how it should be after all, since NUS VCF is inter-denominational and you have to let people worship as they're used to, as long as their hearts are directed towards Him.
I was like, wow, and this is what a campus Christian Fellowship needs to be like. We youths are full of passion and energy, and look at God's presence in this place, and everyone's hearts. CF sessions need to be run with 100% devotion and focus - can we give God any less? And when the hearts of the session leaders are closely knit with God, they can channel the flow of the Spirit to everyone else.
I felt a huge conviction in the midst of it all. CF needed to be like this. The worship had to come back to a place of freedom and genuineness; CF needed to be able to direct all our hearts and will back to Him. And then I felt such a burden, so guilty, so regretful, that things weren't as strong as they should be right now. That we were still experimenting and lacking a concrete direction and action plan.
And then we sang Our God, and the bridge goes And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us / And if our God is for us, then what could stand against? And I was reminded that as long as God was in control of this CF, as long as He was always at the centre of it as our inspiration and guide, as long as His will was what was most important, then this would not fail. CF would still be able to work towards directing hearts to Him, towards helping the Christians here grow in spiritual depth, and in love for God and one another. God will lead the way, God will lead the way. And we are green and new but we don't have to figure this out alone.