I don't like watching romance movies and I don't like reading romance novels. The former usually makes love seem too easy, too simply woven, too seamless, and the latter always puts that pain in my heart that I can't remove.
A lot of the time I hear about people getting together and I'm like meh. Not necessarily disapproving, but often not very supportive or just like yeah whatever. I mean, it's the age of being-and-then-not-being together. It's the age when you come in and out of love in a few months. Or it's, just, like, I don't know. Doesn't sound like much. A lot of love comes about because you were searching for it, not the kind of love that comes about because you just loved each other for who they were as people and as friends and over time your roots grew so deeply intertwined that one day you realised that there was no way you could be apart. The former kind is often not very interesting or wow-worthy to me.
But today I screamed for two minutes straight. Pei Yun was witnessing my craze and she was laughing and she said it was so heartening that something like that concerning other people could make me so incredibly happy, even for that moment.
Today I was reminded of the kind of love that is worthy. Today I was reminded that it does happen, that some people are not relationship-scouting machines but love finds them anyhow in the most special of ways, in laughter and carefree insanity, that it does not have to be the heavy depressing self-killing painful type that I am so familiar with, all I remember and write about. Today I was reminded that it can happen. Maybe something finally purely happily beautiful can happen one day (although, looking at my personality, it seems like I subconsciously only like painful things), and maybe someday I will find someone to grow with, whom I love and who loves me purely for who we are, purely as beautiful people, and then one day we will realise that our roots have grown to a stage where we are inseparable. It's not something I need now, and I think it will only hinder me at this point, and let's see what circumstance brings a few years from now.
This post is dedicated to a beautiful girl, a fantastic guy, and their God-bound love that is just so lovely. Thank you for this reminder; it #gmh