Dec 3, 2012

The easy way out

My flesh and my heart fail,
but God is the strength of my heart 
and my portion forever.

My grandmother told me about my aunt who had a terrible relationship with her mother-in-law right up till the death of the latter. My aunt was a Christian and had influenced her husband, and the husband's family hated that. Don't get baptised, said my grandmother. That way, if your husband was a Taoist or something, you could just convert, and you wouldn't land yourself in the same fate as your aunt.

The best thing to be, my grandmother said, was a free-thinker. That way, you could attend any religious festival. You could eat at a church or at a temple. You could pay your respects at a funeral with joss sticks or a prayer. So much easier, no conflict.

Faith was never the easy road. That's why it's worth anything at all - you believe in a God who loves you, and you want to spend your life loving Him, too. It's a high price to pay, but it's not about convenience. It's not about me and what's best for me. I'm no longer myself, I no longer live; Christ has taken my place in my life. It's about Him.


I said, well, why not? And he said I don't want you to take this road just because it's the easier one.

I made a difficult decision today. I decided not to take the easy way out. My life shouldn't be about me. I want He who is in me; I want to be His broken vessel.

I made a tough decision, and I hope I successfully stick through it, stay true to myself. I could have said yes and had a good time. It was so easy. So easy to linger in the comfort of limbo, or to make a convenient choice.

At worship today, I bowed my head and said God, I did this because I want to put You first. Won't You acknowledge it? Won't You come and be here with me? Is it worth it? Worth You?
And then the eleven-year-old sang:

I have a hope so sure; an anchor for my soul 
My peace in the worst of times, I trust in God alone 
Let every voice declare it now

My God reigns; His love will never fail me 
My God reigns; He's ruling over all 
In all my life, in every situation I know
My God is greater; my God is over all

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