Oct 18, 2011

can i hold you again tomorrow?

Sometimes when the other person smothers you with love, your capacity to receive love becomes satiated and you have so much love from the other side that there's no space left for you to love. It's like creamer in a bitter cup of coffee. A little bit is good, more is great, but then it becomes too much it overpowers the taste of the coffee itself and then it becomes too grossly sweet, undesirable. You forget the initial bitterness of the coffee; in fact, you can't even believe it was ever bitter to begin with because all you're tasting now is excessive sweetness, so sweet it makes you cringe. From bitter to good to awesome, but beyond that it's too much.

You don't even have the chance to worry or wonder or miss. It's like force-feeding you with chocolate. Chocolate's great, but it's too much, the sweetness is so excessive that it becomes sickening and you forget what it's like to actually want chocolate because you really just need to get away from it now.

Not going to admit to that ruined side of me anymore. No more stupid frail dependency, apologies and tears running over. It's gross how low I bring myself. My life means more than this.

On a side note, check this out: The Rape Of Men
pretty thought-provoking, these gender expectations that we will always hold.

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