Sep 1, 2011

remedy for heartache

at assembly
at the bleachers
let the tears flow
break down when you try to say something
cry all you can
until you've no more strength in your wrenching heart to squeeze out those drops of fire

then wash them away
(the fire, the pain)
decide that
if he isn't crying for you you shan't cry too
get some dignity get some self-love
and quit acting like a desperate shameless dog

clean up the mess

retie your hair
change into a nice new oversized comfy top that reads 'I <3 ME'
be so, so grateful for the sister you never had
who helps you dry your tears
and forgoes a free lunch for you

go shopping for a birthday gift with your pals
be thankful, again, that she reminds you to be happy

get some time alone
call up a smurf and say
'i wanna go somewhere and lie down in grass and not say a word
and forget about everything'

so while you're waiting half an hour
go get some fresh air and call up the chinaman and talk about nothing, everything
and repeat the phrase 'life is good' until you start believing it

then spot the short smurf in his untucked tee
let him insist on carrying your bag for you
walk and walk and walk and walk and walk and walk in the darn hot sun
to nowhere. tire yourself out
cross a road, a bridge, take the longest detour to a
turn on some music and don't say a word and let your mind go blank
the person lying on the bench on the other end of the hut, he's guarding your thoughts
because even in silence, a friend's company is all the assurance you need

when the weather is cooler, go to that pretty grass patch like you wanted to
it's a beautiful day, the clouds so pretty, the sky so blue
get a full view of the sunset right in front of you

unfortunately, you don't get to witness the brilliance of the sunset when
the sun hides behind impenetrable dark clouds -
a reminder: happiness can't come into your life
when you envelop it with darkness

talk about kindergarten and crying as a child
to take your mind off the troubles of teenagehood
on the way home, alone, drown yourself in party rock anthem & just dance
drown yourself in the beats, can't think about anything else

go home and
let the morning tears translate into midnight words
and sleep as soon as possible

and be so thankful for the Council and every single person you've met there

and take comfort
in the knowledge
of written, but never spoken, words of a few days ago

and hope they still hold true

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