there are some things i'm tired of thinking about, really. just get out of my head and leave me alone.
Nagging little things I could reflect upon for hours on end if I had the time. But they're worrying things, and worrying about things or looking at the inevitable with a sense of despair won't help.
it's just sad, the inevitability of some things. There's always the ideal we like to drown ourselves in, but when the truth hits hard, it's bitter medicine. Truth is, the real world isn't the one in our heads. At all.
All that fun and laughter isn't always reflective of a deep strong friendship beneath. Tough times and great returns doesn't always mean an everlasting bond. True friendship versus mere friendly tolerance. we hang out a lot now but it doesn't mean it'll continue later.
Effort dying down.
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Walking along the edge of a cliff. Just centimeters away from me is air; it will never be filled with rock, and I know that and am happy with that; that's how it should be. I've been walking on the edge for so long without ever worrying about falling; there's a huge glass wall preventing me from falling even if I tried. Then I start happily banging at the wall, trying to break it, without even realising because I've always been taking advantage of the fact that I'll never fall. Then one day it cracks. Shucks. And any closer to the broken wall and I die in an instant.
A friend I can't afford to lose, ever. We'll meet for dinners when we're greying and talk to no end.
Wonder who I'll keep in contact with after two years here :(
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