Something I need to clarify

I know I still sound like I'm crazy over you, but... I'm not that much so anymore, really. My heart's healing after all the hurt you've unknowingly caused me. I'm getting better at managing my emotions, much better. Acceptance brings closure; I guess it's because I've begun to accept that things are very different from what they used to be, and I also know that nothing ought to happen between us - firstly, I'll die when things go wrong; secondly, I don't know if I can bring myself to trust you with all my heart after you've broken it so many times without even knowing; thirdly, I'm the kind of person who craves affection and needs to constantly know she's loved, and you aren't the kind to express your feelings like that.

I think I like to play with the beauty of words a little too much. Truth is, you still do hold a special place in my heart, and I know I still do feel quite a bit for you, but my emotions are much more stable now. I'm much more clear-headed.

I finally know what it feels like to like somebody without having the thoughts of that person flood your mind every second like a gigantic tide, sweeping away everything in its midst. This stability has come a little too late, though - I remember calling my pals to rant during the Promos period because you, the overwhelming pain in my heart, was all I could focus on. I couldn't study without the intense thoughts about you flooding my entire being. That was emotional instability.

So I hope you don't screw my life again, although if you do, I probably will very happily let you, forgetting everything I've just said here.