i don't know lah.

i looked at her friendster profile, and was like, huh, is this the person you were talking about?
okay, if you didn’t tell me she smokes and stickes her finger up her TOOT, i would think she’s just an ordinary girl in a normal school. she really seems like an ordinary girl from her profile and blog.
and that girl in the nerdy specs, the sec 1 chubby looking girl. i mean, she actually looks like a quiet mugger. she totally dosent seem ah lian; yet she used to have a picture of a cigarette butt on her friendster profile called her “lucky cheesestick”. and both of these girls actually offered you cigarettes before?
from their pictures, they dont look like those kind of bitchy ah lians who are in some weird gang and puts on so much makeup you don’t even know their original skin colour anymore and goes “dunchh meshh wiff miie orhhx” and what, has 986478342 boyfriends per month. they look… like you and me; ordinary students.
i guess you can’t judge a book by its cover eh.
but it’s quite scary, when you look at random people on the street, and think, maybe they don’t seem as innocent as they seem. like, you see this innocent girl, a sec ONE for goodness’ sake, and you realise she smokes and hangs out with a gang at midnight?
i guess this world is really screwed eh.
it’s kind of scary already, how people screw up everything so early in their lives.
i mean, you’re only, what, thirteen. you’ve still got so much to live for, yet you’ve already destroyed so much. it’s quite scary, when you realise you’ve got nothing much to live for anymore, and it’s really pointless, wandering about life everyday without a goal.
i’ve thought countless times, how it’d be like to be in their shoes for a day.
how fun it’d be to not give a care about the world and go totally crazy, ignoring all rules and just not give a damn about anything, just for a day.
but i know i can’t, because i’ve still got hope, something to live for in my life, and if i do that, even just for one day, i will screw up. and i can’t screw up, because i’ve still got so much to live for. like, i can’t scream at miss penny ang, because that’d earn me an SO, and a parents’ letter, and i’d probably be suspended from school and i’d have so much to catch up on when i come back, and my parents will ban me from everything that’s my life – ob, jj, friends, whatever. and i’d be distraught. (plus running away from home = no pocket money.) and i can’t act rashly, because whatever i do will have an effect. i guess i’ve learnt that, from how i scold people out of a moment of anger, etc. (well i still do that, although i try hard hard not to scold nich on my blog anymore :D)
but so many people just give up, they think, it’s so much easier to ignore the rest of the world and live your own life.
but years later, these people may reflect on their life and ask themselves, why am i here, what’s my purpose on earth? and when they realise they don’t have one, except for to get by everyday living a carefree but aimless life, it could get quite depressing couldn’t it?
i wouldn’t know, i’m not them. but i’ve been through really low points – when i just gave up on friendship and decided to become a loner because that was much easier. i really didn’t care about friends anymore, because i felt it was so troublesome, having to go through so many emotions all the time. i guess it’s a little like their case, except for them, they think life’s too stressful, so why bother? i withdrew myself from everyone else, not giving a damn. but deep inside, i wished i could just start all over again.
i don’t know, i just think it’s a little depressing to not have a life purpose anymore.
after all, God gave us life, we’d better cherish it and make the best out of it, to show Him we’re thankful, that we’ve treasured His gift to us, not screw it up and tell Him you don’t give a damn, that it’s pointless.

:/

btw, i'm not saying all teens who smoke and masturbate lead screwed lives. i'm giving examples.
well i guess it's just everyone's different perceptions of "screwed" lah. :/
NVM. as usual, i don't know what i'm talking about.