i know this sounds stupid but just thinking about all the stuff sumay’s going through is enough to make me feel so 心酸. she’s caught in between two really stupid situations and no matter what move she makes, she and the people affected will suffer badly. it’s just like a chess game where she’s checkmated and no matter what move she makes she’ll still lose terribly in the end.
and now that i feel quite lucky, that i have wonderful friends everywhere who care for me and support me, mature friends who want the best for me and don’t like, bitch behind my back and i never knew and then suddenly they hate me for a reason i don’t know of. (well, hopefully my friends don’t bitch behind my back..??)
well actually i think the sec 2 trashing session a few months back really helped a lot. before that, i thought my friends didn’t really care about me anymore and my friendships were all fake, but later through the trashing session i realised that their care and concern for me was real, and i actually did have “angels” beside me all along, it was me who didn’t want to open up to them, to accept their kindness and be their friend, and then i felt so bad that they were sacrificing so much time to care for me but all i did was ignore them and emo all day long. has anyone realised that since then, i’ve emoed much much less? i’m back to my hyper self because i’m no longer trapped in confusion anymore, and i’ve realised that i have true friends. sumay, on the other hand, is going through much worse and i can only imagine the confusion she’s going through.
i feel so useless because all i can do is sit with her and listen to her practically cry to me about her problems – friendship, relationship, family – the people she loves the most are now causing so many problems and tearing her life apart, it’s like i’m possibly the only one who can even listen to her tell me about all her problems now. and i don’t know what to do about it.
and what’s more, my mum says sumay’s mum dosen’t want me to call, sms or msn sumay. that’s how bad her mum’s treating her – banning all her priveleges – going out, talking on the phone, smsing, using the computer..
i don’t know, if i were living her life and going through what she’s going through now, i’d probably have gone as crazily emo as JT (i.e. so emo it’s crazy. slapping yourself till you start bleeding? slitting your body because there’s no more space on your arms?!?!)
i mean sumay’s always lived a terrible life because of her parents’ high demands she just can’t seem to meet, but this is really the ultimate, probably the worst point in her life. i hope it is anyway, because how much worse can it get? confusion is probably the worst feeling ever, because you don’t even know how you’re feeling right now, you can’t plan ahead, everything you do may (and in her case, WILL) turn out wrong.
i’m sorry i can’t help you, all i can do is sit and listen to you, i don’t even know what i can say to console you. but i really feel you are a nice person and don’t deserve all this misery, and i do hope everything will return back to normal very soon. :)
and now that i feel quite lucky, that i have wonderful friends everywhere who care for me and support me, mature friends who want the best for me and don’t like, bitch behind my back and i never knew and then suddenly they hate me for a reason i don’t know of. (well, hopefully my friends don’t bitch behind my back..??)
well actually i think the sec 2 trashing session a few months back really helped a lot. before that, i thought my friends didn’t really care about me anymore and my friendships were all fake, but later through the trashing session i realised that their care and concern for me was real, and i actually did have “angels” beside me all along, it was me who didn’t want to open up to them, to accept their kindness and be their friend, and then i felt so bad that they were sacrificing so much time to care for me but all i did was ignore them and emo all day long. has anyone realised that since then, i’ve emoed much much less? i’m back to my hyper self because i’m no longer trapped in confusion anymore, and i’ve realised that i have true friends. sumay, on the other hand, is going through much worse and i can only imagine the confusion she’s going through.
i feel so useless because all i can do is sit with her and listen to her practically cry to me about her problems – friendship, relationship, family – the people she loves the most are now causing so many problems and tearing her life apart, it’s like i’m possibly the only one who can even listen to her tell me about all her problems now. and i don’t know what to do about it.
and what’s more, my mum says sumay’s mum dosen’t want me to call, sms or msn sumay. that’s how bad her mum’s treating her – banning all her priveleges – going out, talking on the phone, smsing, using the computer..
i don’t know, if i were living her life and going through what she’s going through now, i’d probably have gone as crazily emo as JT (i.e. so emo it’s crazy. slapping yourself till you start bleeding? slitting your body because there’s no more space on your arms?!?!)
i mean sumay’s always lived a terrible life because of her parents’ high demands she just can’t seem to meet, but this is really the ultimate, probably the worst point in her life. i hope it is anyway, because how much worse can it get? confusion is probably the worst feeling ever, because you don’t even know how you’re feeling right now, you can’t plan ahead, everything you do may (and in her case, WILL) turn out wrong.
i’m sorry i can’t help you, all i can do is sit and listen to you, i don’t even know what i can say to console you. but i really feel you are a nice person and don’t deserve all this misery, and i do hope everything will return back to normal very soon. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment