i really need to vent all my anger somewhere.
my eyes are too tired to cry anymore, and i dont have a place to really scream..
im just damn confused, dont even know whats going on in my own mind
and because im so confused with my own emotions, i start venting my frustration on everyone else
i start feeling damn emo and distressed, and start screaming and shouting at my own friends at the slightest thing
(really really really sorry jiayi!!!!)
but it's not just jiayi's incident today.. lingling's sarawak thing,
it was really nothing, i mean im usually not that sensitive as to scold her on my blog and cry about something that i dont have anything to do with, but..
yah.
sorry too lingling!
and im really sorry in advance people, i dont expect you guys to forgive me if this happens again but i still apologise in advance anyway.. :)
but i still dont know why im feeling like this.
that sudden-hatred-for-no-apparent-reason that i faced when i was with p5 with derrick (really sry derrick! you're a very nice guy la :D)
is back again, and im so scared of that feeling because it's like a virus, it suddenly just jumps out and controls me, making me feel hatred even towards my close friends (like derrick..)
and the worst thing is i cant stop it, i cant control those negative feelings, and all i can do is witness it slowly take over me and pull my friendships apart
and everyone will think im a beast, but only i know im innocent..
or am i?
derrick was a really nice friend.. he always gave in to me, he was the one that got me into gunbound, we would pass notes even though we were sitting beside each other..
he was really funny and witty, and when mrs foo asked derrick to change his place, i actually wrote a letter asking her to keep the seating arrangements and not change derrick's seat..
but one day i just started hating him to the core, for no apparent reason at all
i changed my seat. i could not even think of looking at him in the eye, i just felt he was damn disgusting
and one day, he wrote me a note, telling me about runescape and whether i would want him to teach me how to play it
i refused, obviously, but after that i felt damn guilty. what had he done to deserve such hatred?
i think everyone who reads this will think im really a bitch. yah, I think so too..
and now this feeling's back again, and this story is going to repeat itself, and all i can do is to feel is fear and more fear
i really dont want it to happen
im feeling super super stressed.. at a loss of what to do..
i hope this wont last long
do you think the sch counselor will know whats wrong with me?
my eyes are too tired to cry anymore, and i dont have a place to really scream..
im just damn confused, dont even know whats going on in my own mind
and because im so confused with my own emotions, i start venting my frustration on everyone else
i start feeling damn emo and distressed, and start screaming and shouting at my own friends at the slightest thing
(really really really sorry jiayi!!!!)
but it's not just jiayi's incident today.. lingling's sarawak thing,
it was really nothing, i mean im usually not that sensitive as to scold her on my blog and cry about something that i dont have anything to do with, but..
yah.
sorry too lingling!
and im really sorry in advance people, i dont expect you guys to forgive me if this happens again but i still apologise in advance anyway.. :)
but i still dont know why im feeling like this.
that sudden-hatred-for-no-apparent-reason that i faced when i was with p5 with derrick (really sry derrick! you're a very nice guy la :D)
is back again, and im so scared of that feeling because it's like a virus, it suddenly just jumps out and controls me, making me feel hatred even towards my close friends (like derrick..)
and the worst thing is i cant stop it, i cant control those negative feelings, and all i can do is witness it slowly take over me and pull my friendships apart
and everyone will think im a beast, but only i know im innocent..
or am i?
derrick was a really nice friend.. he always gave in to me, he was the one that got me into gunbound, we would pass notes even though we were sitting beside each other..
he was really funny and witty, and when mrs foo asked derrick to change his place, i actually wrote a letter asking her to keep the seating arrangements and not change derrick's seat..
but one day i just started hating him to the core, for no apparent reason at all
i changed my seat. i could not even think of looking at him in the eye, i just felt he was damn disgusting
and one day, he wrote me a note, telling me about runescape and whether i would want him to teach me how to play it
i refused, obviously, but after that i felt damn guilty. what had he done to deserve such hatred?
i think everyone who reads this will think im really a bitch. yah, I think so too..
and now this feeling's back again, and this story is going to repeat itself, and all i can do is to feel is fear and more fear
i really dont want it to happen
im feeling super super stressed.. at a loss of what to do..
i hope this wont last long
do you think the sch counselor will know whats wrong with me?
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